What Messages Are You Hearing?

I got to thinking about all the beliefs that we can come to possess about our sexuality as we grow up. So many messages were sent to me as I grew up from both the world and the church community which had a tremendous impact on my perception of what God intended for me, and they were often reactions caused by fear or ignorance rather than reasonable explanations. Here are just a few.

Messages from the world:

  • If you like having sex, your a slut.
  • Sexy girls are bad girls.
  • If you value your sexual purity, you are naive.

Messages from the church community:

  • Your sexuality is bad until you are married.
  • Your genitals are dirty.
  • Good girls don’t.

The interesting thing is that as we embrace ourselves entirely as God created us, we are set free from so much of the baggage associated with those statements, but it doesn’t change that others still see it that way. Many people who are talking about our blog understand where we are coming from and are encouraged by the message. Others, though, seem to fall into one of two groups of people. A lot of religious folks think we are entirely too worldly and that sex should not be discussed. Then on the other hand we see many non-believers who think it is either a joke or pass us off as religious skanks. Both are victims of hearing these negative messages and walking in these lies, and I will not bow to either.

Sexual purity is an incredibly valuable quality to possess. It takes a whole lot more personal integrity and self worth to commit yourself to keeping your sexual passion and expression focused on the person you are married to than to have sex at whim with anyone you wish. This isn’t naivety, it’s wisdom. To be free in your marriage bed to enjoy it for all the purposes God intended doesn’t detract from being a woman of God, it allows you to walk more fully in that role.

One of the goals of our blog is to help set women free from the negative messages so many of us have heard. We can’t change how everyone thinks about their sexuality and their faith, and how they are connected, but we are so thankful to have this platform and to see that women are being set free from many of these lies. And that is the turning point. Once the truth is revealed, we can walk in increasing freedom. We may hit walls and need to push through, but knowing that we had been living under a lie is a huge key. After that, it becomes easier to get rid of those lies, especially if we have supportive husbands and godly girlfriends who will help walk with us in our freedom.

So don’t be afraid to challenge yourself to look at the messages that were sent to you and consider which of them are valid and which are not. For the ones that aren’t valid, pray and ask God to replace them with His truth. In every area, I pray that you would walk in all that God has for you; spiritually, emotionally and sexually.

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  • March 2009
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