Sex Toy Parties

“I’m a stay at home mom and came across a direct sales job that sounds good. The job has a lot to offer but I’m not sure it’s a godly job. It is a sex toy selling job where you host parties in homes. Is this ok in Gods eyes? Would I be sinning if I tried this out?”

Sex toy parties can be so much fun!  I know because I’ve been to several of them, and I also hosted one myself a couple years ago.  I do not believe that going to a toy party, hosting a toy party, or getting a job for a toy company is sinful in nature.  I do, however think that you should investigate the company thoroughly beforehand though, so that you know what you are getting yourself in to.

The party that I hosted in my home was so much fun.  I had talked to the consultant beforehand and she answered all my questions.  She let me know that it was only for women 18 and up, and moms weren’t even allowed to bring their newborn babies.  It was very strict.  No men either.  I also found out that they did NOT sell porn, and that was a biggie with me.  So my husband took my kids out to grandma’s house then to see a movie that night, so the house would be available for the party.  She told me what specific games would be played and what products she would be bringing.  We discussed snacks and drinks and she told me what types of language would be used (clinical).

I could not have been more pleased with the outcome.  It was done in a very tasteful way and my consultant was absolutely wonderful.  She never used vulgar or even slang terms because she wanted everyone to be comfortable.  It was upbeat and we all laughed a lot.  Ordering was done in private, in a back room, and she had many products in her van with her, so that my friends didn’t have to wait for it to ship out from somewhere.  My friends and family were so impressed by my party, that three of them went on to host their own parties from this same company.

Since then, I have been to another toy party by a different company.  I was not comfortable there at all.  The consultant allowed young teenage girls to attend (15-16 yrs old) and the games that we played were just… not very tastefully done.  I did not like it and did not order anything from it.  I also decided that I wouldn’t ever attend another toy party from that company again.  You know, in hind sight it may have just been that the consultant  wasn’t very good.  The company itself may have had rules (like age rules) that she wasn’t following because she just wanted to sell stuff, no matter who it was to.   I bet if we had had a Christian consultant it would have went differently.

I also know of yet a third toy party company (I won’t say who) that sells pornographic videos.  Of course this bothers me.  So while I don’t think that all toy parties are sinful in nature, I do believe that some have the potential to be less than godly.  If you are thinking of doing this, you should investigate the company yourself. Attend a party that someone else hosts, or agree to host one yourself just to see how it goes.  If you are impressed, and don’t have that gut feeling that is telling you to ‘flee!’ then ask some questions about becoming a consultant.   (It also helps to have an outgoing and fun personality.)   I’ll list a few of the big name companies that I’m familiar with, and I’ll leave it to you to do your own research.  It’s relatively easy to find out information online, and you can also use email and telephone numbers to contact companies that you are more interested in:

I’m sure that many of our readers have probably attended such parties themselves, and may weigh-in on this issue.  Let me just remind everyone that we do remove most links from comments as stated in our Guidelines, so keep that in mind.

37 Comments

  1. I went to my first sex toy party last December and it was fun, but there were definitely moments where I felt uncomfortale. 2 men were in attendance, one was another guest’s husband and the other was gay and single at the time.

    The language was clinical from the sales rep, but not the guests at all. I can easily say that going once was enough and if I want any more of the products I thought we might enjoy, I can find them online, or by calling the sales rep back.

    This is a slippery road in my opinion because, while you can control your host to an extent, you can not control the guests, many of whom might be buying products for extra marital sex (either as an affair or while still single). I personally don’t believe that is something I could condone.

  2. That is why researching the company first is a must. The company I went with did not allow men at all. I was in control of my guest list (because I was the host) so that wasn’t an issue either. I can certainly see how it was uncomfortable for you, having men in attendance.

    I do think it’s unfair though, to assume that some of your married guests may be buying toys for an “affair.” I certainly did not sit around worrying about that when I had my party. My guests were married Christian women (family and church members) and I left their purchases and motivations for buying things between them, their husbands, and God.

  3. I went to a party with my friend (her friend was hosting it). It was relatively comfortable. Most of the guest were quiet and didn’t comment much. However, we did have one woman who was probably late 70s who was very perverted in her talk and told too many details about how she would use the toys. Ugh! Not something we really wanted to know. I think if you don’t leave the invitation open to whoever and choose your guest carefully it can be a really fun experience! And of course like was mentioned before make sure the company checks out morally as well. I think it would be awesome if one of the Christian sex toy shops online would allow for parties!

  4. I would just like to say that this is not supposed to sound judgmental or harsh in any way: I am just genuinely confused. Whilst I can totally understand christian’s hosting or attending sex toy parties so long as they feel comfortable with the relevant company’s boundaries (ie no porn sold etc), I cannot see how working as a sales rep for such a company would sit with a christian view of sex and intiamcy. I think everyone who writes for CN is agreed on the fact that sex clearly belongs within the boundaries of marriage as ordained by God. I am really unsure then how someone could be working for such a company & selling products to clients (who may or may not be married) without being seen to promote the enjoyment of sex outside of marriage every time they sold sex toys to someone who was planning to use them with someone to whom they were not married? I am genuinely confused by this.

  5. I noticed you did not list any names of the company you liked and did not like. Is there a reason for that? I would really like to have a heads up on which parties to attend and not to attend. I have heard of “Surprise” parties. Is that one of the ones you attended?

  6. The consultant I used was a Christian woman. When I called to ask what to expect and what the “rules” were, she told me that men and women under 18 were not allowed. She asked me to just invite all my adult women friends only. She conducted my party in a very conservative way and we all had a ton of fun! She would talk about how we could use a toy or item with our husbands or how we could use them alone if we were still learning about our bodies. Most all of my guests were married, although I did have a family member there who was single at the time. She had fun with all of us and ended up buying a vibrator to help her learn to orgasm. I see nothing wrong with that. I had another single friend there who was very shy and i think she bought a book. Did my consultant ask all my guests if they were single or married? No, she did not, and I don’t think that it was necessary either. Just because someone is single and attending doesn’t mean that they are looking to sin.

    I do think that a Christian can be a toy consultant because I met one myself. I could totally see myself doing that job, but my issue is that I am not good at sales. I think that as a Christian consultant you would conduct your parties in a very clean way that would make all the guests comfortable. You could even specify to your hosts if you wanted only married women (although it would mean less commission for you if less people showed up, and again, I don’t necessarily think having singles in attendance is sinful).

    I hosted a party and sold a lot of stuff. I do not sit around wondering if any of my married friends are using those toys/products in some sinful affair. I pray they aren’t but you know what? I can’t control what they do with their stuff. I can only control myself.

  7. I went back and edited in a short list of some of the major companies that I have heard of personally. I will leave it up to you all to do the research to find out if it is a company that you would like to do business with or not. 🙂

    I would rather not say which ones I didn’t like. It is entirely possible that the company is fine, but the negative experience I had was because of the consultant herself, you know? I will say that if I did some research and found out that the company I was thinking of working for wanted me to sell pornography, I wouldn’t be able to work there.

  8. Thanks Cumingirl. I was maybe unclear in my last post I was not trying to suggest that singles would be in sin if they purchased sex toys, I was thinking of the issue of what as a christian is our responsibility to promote sex as a good gift intended for marriage and how that would sit with being the person who sold sex toys to people who are involved in sexual relationships outside of marriage? I wonder how unless working for an explicitly christian company or only offering your service to christians you could get around this? As you say limiting clentelle to marrieds would unnecessarily exclude singles, so I am not sure how someone would get around this? I am sure someone CAN be a christian and a toy consultant, I am just wondering if selling sex toys to people you are aware will be using them in a sexual relationship outside of marriage is a good idea? Again I am just asking questions, trying to grapple with this issue and nothing more. Thanks

  9. Hiya ladies,
    Still having an ongoing discussion with my darling about the validity of even owing a type of ‘substitute’ as his masculinity is incredibly threatened. I totally understand his concerns and give way to them.
    I content myself in the fact that he is all for me doing belly dancing and considering pole dancing and cleaning out my closet and stocking up on sexy undies and going full throttle with him … how can I make an issue out of a minor detail when we are sharing so much wonder.
    Would I go to a party if I fully checked it out? Could be a blast but at this time, not in the cards for me because of my man’s reluctance on this issue. I so appreciate these posts. Thanks for sharing and educating me 😉
    smP

  10. As a married Christian woman, and former relationship enhancement consultant (yes, I used to sell sex toys and spa products!), I will say it can be done, but also can be tricky. The company I worked for had a strict policy against both men and children. I didn’t find the job itself to be sinful in nature, and actually found a lot of fulfillment in the idea that I could do something to help women further enjoy their sexual relationships with their husbands. I feel strongly that God designed the marriage be to be mutually satisfying, and felt NO SHAME selling products to married women.

    It gets a bit difficult here: while you can design your first parties to be primarily of married women, you should seriously do a bit of market research as to where and how your business will spread. You are required to let the hostess know about age and gender guidelines, but otherwise cannot dictate her guest list. I have sold products that were for use with a partner to both single young women (like, 19 yrs old) and lesbians. Those were the situations that made me uncomfortable, and honestly left a bad feeling in my spirit for weeks.

    If you think you will have enough business with women you will feel good about selling to, I think you may find the job both empowering and fulfilling. I will caution you though, that while I tried my best not to pass judgment–especially on anyone I knew was not walking with Christ–I did feel some guilt for helping them make their sin more enjoyable. Hope this helps. Good luck!

  11. Amy, thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I was hoping that some one who had ‘been there’ would post.

  12. Thanks Amy for your honest sharing which is really helpful.

  13. imho.
    No one looks down on the postal worker bc they deliver anything that they are given to deliver. No one looks down on the school nurse who is required to give out condoms to teens who ask for them. there is no condemnation to the lady who works at a liquer store, lingeie store, or barnes and noble. So why freak out about what someone may or may not do with what ever they get at a toy party?
    Each individual has to answer to God for the things they do. If some one wants to buy a toy, lube, sexy scivies or a how to book that’s their deal. We have no moral obligation to ask someone what they are going to use the purchase for. So many non christians are shocked to discover that Xtians actually can and do enjoy sex and toys and the like that these sorts of things can actually be a hoot!
    If you are wierded out by filthy talk,( I’ve worked with teens in treatment centers and worked at a truck stop to pay for colege, so I think I’m deaf to it all.) Ask all invited to be respectful and polite in ther conversations.
    Check out a book on how to have a succesful group therapy,/support group and apply the basic principles to this. things like setting the ground rules for talking about body parts, keeping what is said and done at the party at the party etc….
    If you are concerned for non believers attending, pray that the view of sex and sexuality displayed will be one that highlights, show cases, opens eyes to the way sex is supposed to be. Something done between a husband and a wife and blessed beyond imagination. focus on the romance and the enhancement of that rather than the sexyness and dirtyness of the things goiung on.

  14. I am a Christian consultant and I strongly agree with this comment. Although I do not ask each person who buys a toy who they will use it with (since that would be infringing on their privacy), I always include my husband as the example, and not anyone else. For example, “My husband, Brandon loves using “x” because it makes us more adventurous and opens up conversation which we would’ve otherwise been embarrased to talk about” I do not condone anyone using the toy for an affair or even for pre-maritial sex, but I cannot prevent a married woman who goes to my church, from thinking about someone other than her husband while masterbating either. Sin is up to the individual and anyone can take this beautiful bond God created for Husbands and Wives and distort it and make it something sinful. I give married couples the tools to create a more intimate sexual relationship through conversation and experimentation. My husband and I experimented by buying something neither of us had ever heard of (c-ring) and now it is our favorite thing EVER! We’ve become closer and I can now experience orgasms which I had not been able to until I found Pure Romance.

  15. Amen Sistah! I totally agree!

  16. Wow, I feel puzzled about the spiritually sound approach with this topic. I could see how a “party” could be educational and truly helpful from a technical perspective. And maybe it gives an opportunity to learn about aids that one hadn’t known existed.

    Fostering a great intimate relationship between a husband and wife: right on. “Reliance” on toys to make things interesting and avoid boredom: I have mixed feelings and could picture toys as sometimes fine and sometimes it would be better and healthier to focus on making the relationship itself more vibrant.

    But how do you sit in a party and look together at lifelike toys that are for example shaped like masculine intimate parts and talk about techniques for using toys without crossing over boundaries of what should have been kept private inside the marriage? Education helps but it’s hard to picture someone going home and saying “here’s what I learned from open discussion group of 12 ladies about what to do tonight”. Ugh! I have a lot of trouble with foggy eyesight about how this can work and be spiritually where it should be. I’m not judging it, I’m saying I can’t seem to see well enough!

  17. Silver, I can understand your thoughts, however I think that you (and possibly others) may have the wrong idea about these parties. The one I hosted wasn’t just twenty women sitting around talking about techniques to use with dildos. In fact, those toys weren’t even brought out until the very end…i’d say the last 20 minutes as the consultant just got them out one at a time and explained what they were made for (g-spot stimulation, clitoral stimulation, anal, to be worn on the penis, etc.) At the end, when she started getting out those toys, there really wasn’t much discussion going on. We were all listening to what she had to say.

    There are lots of other things at a toy party than just those kinds of toys though. The entire first hour was spent talking about things like body glitter, lotions, shave gel, books, and edible body dust. She even had a vibrating hairbrush that she said was good for getting tangles out of your daughter’s hair! There were also actual massagers that you could put in the microwave for a couple of minutes to make them hot and then place them on your aching back or wherever they were needed. Then came the lingerie line, and the consultant had examples of the products hanging on a rack for us to look at. I could go on and on here but I think you get what I am saying. It wasn’t just a crude two hours of dildo talk. There was much more to it than that.

    But again, that was MY experience, and I’m not sure that all companies are set up exactly the same way, which is why I have stressed that you thoroughly research the companies on your own.

    Oh, and about your last paragraph. I happen to be one of the ones who can easily sit in a group of a dozen women discussing sexual techniques. (I mean, isn’t that what I’m doing here on CN, except through the internet instead of in person?) I’m totally comfortable talking about sex with other like minded Christian women (obviously), however I do realize that there are some of you out there who would not be comfortable in such a conversation. What it boils down to is if you do not think you would feel comfortable at such a party, or that you would experience guilt from going, then don’t go.

  18. Hi everyone! I actually am a Consultant for a Christian company called Divine Romance. It took me 6 months of research but when I found Divine Romance, I knew it was the company for me. And it’s been worth it! Divine Romance forbids Consultants to use pornographic material or raunchy language. It’s nice working with other Christian women who encourage each other to be classy! We’re the only Christian Romance Home Party Company out there right now but I do hope that changes. We’ve now branched out in doing other kinds of parties like purity parties, bridal showers, and spa parties. But my heart is still for helping women to pursue a more intimate relationship with their husband. Now I know that Divine Romance isn’t for everyone, but I just want to encourage all of you who are interested in being a Consultant to keep looking until you find what you want. And I also think that if you want to have a party but are worried about what you are getting into, you should ask. I know that when I talk to my hostesses, I make sure that there is nothing we have that she or her guests might be uncomfortable with. A good consultant should want the same. If not, find someone else. There’s lots of us out there!

    Oh, one more thing regarding “controling the guests.” We’ve found that when we let everyone know at the beginning that our parties are tasteful and not raunchy and we want to have an encouraging atmosphere where everyone can feel comfortable, most people take the hint. And for those who don’t, we reiterate this when they say something inappropriate. As the hostess, you can do this too. Let everyone know what kind of show you want to have beforehand. The Consultant and the Hostess really do make the show!

  19. Amen sister Cumingirl! We, as christians need to apply that thought to a lot of situations in our lives. If you are uncomfortable with something then don’t do it, but don’t tell me or others it is biblically wrong (sin) unless there is scripture to back it up. I see this all the time in church or even among different social circles.I hope this comment dosen’t sound “judgemental” becuase I’m not trying to be, I just think often times with our christian liberties we can agree to disagree.

  20. Hi Cumingirl,

    I enjoy your articles and am extremely thankful that you talk about the things you do. You have been pretty even-handed, in all that you have written about, which is difficult and time consuming.

    The heat in the kitchen may cause some to bale out yet heat causes spice to really develop ! Great articles, freeing perspectives and a site for ‘off the beaten path’ Christian Nymphos…a massive need in the Body of Christ. I am grateful to all the Spicegirls.

  21. I didn’t mean to cause such a conversation when I suggested that some guests would use the products for extra-marital sex (meaning unmarried sex mostly).

    I think my main concern for most of these types of direct marketing companies comes from the way you build a direct marketing business. You might start out holding the parties for your church lady friends who may invite 1 or 2 non-believers. They might book, and then their friends might book and you will be in completely different consultant territory within a few months.

    Of course there are tasteful, mature, and accurate ways to talk about sex and techniques. The Song of Solomon does it in the Bible. I just shared my views as a caution… you need to turn over as many stones as you can before making a decision like this. Just consider the situations you may find yourself in and decide if they make you uncomfortable or not. If you are okay with it, then proceed. I won’t judge you. Someone has to be willing to teach healthy, married sexuality! 🙂

  22. I have a problem with companies which carry products which degrade God’s gift of sex (“penis” erasers?!?) and encourage women to seek their own pleasure (I’ve heard consultants say “who needs a man now, girls?!”) Sex is a very special and wonderful gift, and should be treated with respect. That’s why I was so impressed by Divine Romance (www.divineromance.net) The consultant whose show I attended was educational (I learned something new) and FUNNY while respecting marriage and intimacy. I can definitely recommend them.

  23. I went back in and edited in Divine Romance into my list of companies, however, women need to know that they are a very tame company. I’m not saying that in a bad way, but if you are in need of a vibrator or penis ring, it doesn’t look like they carry those at all. Instead they have tons of lotions and creams and things like magnets and night lights and “purity bracelets” and self tanning creams. I’ve tried searching for vibes and other things on their website, and I cannot find them.

  24. We have carried these itemstoys in the past but unfortunately, some consultants found them a hindurance in getting their foot in the door with more conservative women who need to hear that sex is sacred, not shameful. They have taken most of these items away and brought in different lines of products to reach these women. (We are now also doing spa parties, little ones parties and purity parties.) There are a few toys that are still active and available from most consultants by request, just not on the site. We also have a lot of old items still in stock and on sale, which you can get access to at any Divine Romance party. How “tame” the party is, depends on your Consultant. Personally, I have a talk with my hostess before hand and if she thinks her friends will all be fine with it, I still show some toys. And if not, I show our newer line of products. Of course, this is speaking only for myself. There are many consultants who have decided to take a break from showing toys. If you are interested in having a Divine Romance Party but would like to see some p-rings or bullets or other really sexy items, I suggest contacting a consultant near you. She should tell you whether or not that is something she personally sells. Anyway, I hope this information was helpful.

  25. Thank you for the information, Brandi. I was hoping that one of you would weigh in on this and clarify things for us.

  26. I think Jennifer brings up a wonderful point about a direct-sales business expanding beyond our Christian world into a world which has very few models of healthy and Godly sexuality. When I began my business as a Passion Coach (and part of this business entails doing in-home parties), I decided that my presentation would be the same no matter whether my audience was faith-based or not. They still heard my story – which entails the fact that I am the daughter of a pastor and my husband was the moderator of our church elders’ board. And then I talked about having great sex with your husband and gave them a glimpse of what a healthy marriage looks like. For a lot of these non-Christian ladies, it was a chance for them to hear God’s truth for the first time in a way that was relevant, hopeful, and a lot of fun!

  27. I just found out that “The Pure Bed” is going to be starting a distributors program, with parties and everything. I just wanted to let everyone know. I am extremely excited about this, because it is the ONLY website I have found that has all the elements I’m looking for-Christian perspective, wide range of products, and affordable price! The have a sign up form to be notified when it is up and running. 🙂 🙂 🙂

  28. This is a great way to make some really good money but my advise to it is not to quit your day job. It is good as a supplimental income.

  29. yeah. In other way maybe its a great way of earning money and also a good part time job, but think its not a good typical day job. I mean its better to purchase the item online or buy it in a store then you’ll lots of choose for and bargain as well. It’s better to enjoy the hole thing when you attend a sex toy party. 🙂

  30. HI, I am a consultant with BBP and that is what brought me here to look up what other christian ladies thought about the in home parties. I have truly enjoyed teaching the ladies about their bodies. Most women didn’t even know where the G-Spot is or that you there are 3 types of orgasms. Anyway this post has helped me alot. I will be looking for a christian based company. Wish me luck.

  31. I am not sure if anyone esle has put this but another really good company is Passion Parties. You can host two different parties with them one with just the lotions and etc. and the other with everything (toys, lotions, books). They are also very restrict on parties. And if you want to become a consultant and work for them one of the books they give you talks about saving married couples marriage by helping bring nice wholesome things into the bedroom for passion. They do not sell porn. Passion Parties!

  32. The party explained above sounds exactly like a Slumber Party. I have been a Slumber Parties rep for five years and I am a Christian. I love your article and you are right, attending or selling for a reputable company is not a sin. Thanks for your input.

  33. I was wondering if Passion Parties is the one that Cumingirl was referring to that she didn’t like. I hope not, because I’m going to one this weekend! My only concern, though, is that it is being hosted by my friend who is divorced. She doesn’t have any man in her life right now so it’s not like she’s having sex, and I think she’s only doing it for something fun to do…but it’s hard to feel like “Oh, this is ok, we’re all married here” when not all of us are married. Also, her widowed mom is coming and she can be a little bold…same goes for another friend who will be there, who was raised in the church but considers herself a “rebel.” Frankly, I just want to show these women that it’s possible to have a living, breathing walk with the Lord and still be “one of the fun ones.” Anyone relate to this?

  34. Looks like there weren’t too many thoughts on that! Well, thought I’d post my review of the Passion Party I went to. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was “very tasteful” (as some have said of the parties they’ve attended); however, I wouldn’t say it was totally tasteless and offensive either. I think that much of it depends on the consultant and the crowd. At this party, the consultant responded to the vibe that some of the attendees gave her; I noticed that she started out very professional, but let down her guard more as some of the guests (friends of friends who I didn’t know) got a little too colorful in their language, etc. There were no men or children, though, no teenagers or anyone totally inappropriate like that. I’d love to attend one of these parties wtih my married, high-standard Christian friends only (no outside guests), but unfortunately those women aren’t open to talking about sex with others at all – the whole reason I came to this site in the first place. Oh, and as far as ordering went, we did order at the table where the presentation was; but everyone was generally respectful, not looking at other’s order forms unless invited to. She had a few items on hand, so I didn’t have to pay shipping and was able to take my items home that night.

  35. I am an Independent Consultant for a party company. I am a Christian going to a Baptist Church. I believe God created intamacy and that women were more designed for sexuality than even men. We were give a gspot and clitoris for pleasure !! Most Christians especially ones that have always followed their faith have never been educated on their bodies and what sex in marriage is partly because their parents didn’t have the education to give them. I started selling a little over a year ago with a non Christian company. I did my research. I went with a company that has no porn and supports couples in their relationship. Couples toys are the fastest growing market – no one wants to replace their partner they want more of what they can do together. When I first started to sell I recieved a lot of flack over it and was told I must not be a Christian if I am selling. I can tell you now those same people buy from me. I present professionally , educationally and clinically . I offer one on one order and in the form of a party BUT all orders and conversations are done one on one so no one is talking about their personal issues in front of others. I have grown my team and have attracted like minded individuals and other Christians. There is a huge need in churches today for a more open conversation about sex. I do parties for non Christians as well and I can tell you we live in a generation that is over sexed and under educated and they are despretly seeking intamacy and loving relationships. I meet 25-60 new women a week I would never have the ability to touch their lives if I did not do what I do. I personally do not do young parties that is not my market I prefer older married women. I am all about taking the guilt out of Christian sex !!! God made us to enjoy each other in marriage and to be happy and fulfilled right from the romance (which guys need education about) to the actual act of sex and if I can help a couple stay and be fulfilled in a happy marriage than I have done what God intended for me to do. I offer couples a way to shop without porn or comprimising their faith.

  36. I just read your post. I am an Independent Passion Party Rep ( I commented below) You are right – it really depends on the rep. As stated every rep is independent and as such runs their own business. I sat down when I started and decided what I would stand for in my own business. Not only do you have to research the company you have to research the rep. I can tell you at my parties all ordering is done in a seperate room. No one under the age of 18 and my professionalism is carried through my entire presentation !!

  37. Nice job, it’s a great post. The info is good to know! Thank you.


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