I want to love my husband well. I think that how I respond to and treat my husband most accutely shows the areas where I need to improve my character. I found myself challenged this week in my attitude towards him. I want to love him generously and without reservation, but it isn’t something that I find myself living out 100% off the time. It’s a real challenge sometimes.
How easy it can be when our husbands initiate sexually to only give our bodies and think that is enough. It is very difficult sometimes to step beyond that and give our souls, especially if we feel empty and haven’t had our own hearts cared for. I would far rather give myself fully to my husband, but sometimes I really struggle with my attitude about that. I’d still rather connect with him at least physically than not at all, but I don’t want to have a relationship that is void of the soul connection, especially if I can change something to make it better.
So I want to have a discussion on what lessons you have learned in how to control your attitude when it is negative. What works for you when you find yourself closing off to others? How do you shift from spiraling further downward towards discouragement or even bitterness to spiraling upwards?
I’ll share a couple of things, but would love to have input from others.
One thing I have noticed is that God is REALLY faithful to help us when we call to Him. The particular day this week that I was struggling I made numerous attempts to connect with the Lord about it and was constantly drawn back to the need to mother my kids for one thing or another. During church God provided me with a servant to minister to me and speak some life to me that my heart really needed. I was seeking the Lord and He was faithful to meet me.
I have also found that there is a lot of power in declaring things with our mouths. Like King David in the Bible who said “Hey soul! Why are you depresssed. Put your hope in God.” He speaks to his own soul and declares truth. “God is trustworthy. Put your hope in Him.” So when I am struggling with my attitude, I often just start to speak truth. Sometimes all I can do is mouth the words to begin with, and then I find I am able to speak with more authority.
A final thing I will add before I invite you to share your thoughts is that looking outside ourselves really makes a difference. I find that in the downward spiral, I become more and more internally focused. Me! Me! Me! But in the upward spiral I am looking at others and seeing beyond my circumstances. Right after my friend ministered to me at church this week I began speaking with the person next to me and found an opportunity to be an intercessor for a situation in their family’s life. So in the times when I realize that I need an attitude check, looking out beyond myself has been very helpful.
As I have said before, my husband gets only one lover so I want to be the best one I can be. This often involves a strong commitment to good communication and giving myself an attitude check every now and then. Please feel free to add your experiences in the comment section in how you have ensured that you maintain a healthy attitude towards your husband.
Christian Nymphos 