A Discussion: Teaching Our Kids About Sex

I’d like to facilitate a discussion on how we teach our kids to develop a healthy attitude about sex. Here are some questions to consider:

  • What are some good tools we can use to open up communication with our kids? What books have you have found particularly helpful to read for yourself and to read with your kids? What about a movie you have seen that could be used to teach about God’s plan for sex? Ministries that specialize in teaching young people about sex? Are there Bible passages that speak to God’s truth about sex that our kids would benefit from?
  • What is appropriate information at different ages? What about younger kids who have the maturity to handle the information while their peers may not? How do we teach a toddler to view their body positively? How do we teach this to a teenager?
  • What happens when a younger child hears something sexual from an older or more informed child (rightly or wrongly)? Or from TV or a magazine cover? How do we answer these questions? Should we answer every question as it arises or is there a place for saying that you’ll save that discussion for another time?
  • How do we teach our daughters to embrace who God made them and to have a strong and positive body image? As we all know, a grown woman who doesn’t love her body, is less free to allow her husband to enjoy it. How do we balance this with teaching her to dress modestly? How do we teach her to choose well in relationships?
  • How do we teach our sons to control lustful thoughts? What do we teach him to value in the girls he eventually dates and then the one he marries? How do we give him the tools to have self control and remain guarded?
  • What about masturbation? What message do we want to send on that? What are the important points to be sure we communicate? What do we say to those young people who don’t feel compelled to engage in masturbation and what do we say to those who do?
  • How do we express to our kids that sex as God planned is amazing and worth protecting for marriage? How do we teach them to have the integrity to value their purity when the world disregards sexual purity as though it were a plague.
  • What should our overall message be? How do we go beyond “Just don’t do it”?
  • What do we say to a teenager who is in a serious dating relationship? How do we prepare them for all the aspects of that? How do we teach them to be prepared before they are in that moment of passion? What if they are contemplating having sex? What do we say in that case?

I find it so sad that so much of the world’s teaching about sex towards teenagers is that they are going to do it anyway so teach them how to do it right. I’d rather come from the position that I want to teach them how to do it right and well and to know that my kids have the integrity and character to save sex for the right circumstances; that is choosing someone to marry who also has integrity and character who they can experience the full freedom of sex with. We’d never approve of them cutting themselves or abusing their body with drugs (even though that is terribly prevalent), and yet there is this green light to go ahead and have sex as long as they feel ready. It doesn’t make sense.

So please join in and share your thoughts in the comment section on any of these questions and feel free to share questions that you are wondering about as well.

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