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Sept.12: The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie OMartian
Weekly poll #7: Have you faked an orgasm?
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I have never faked, but when my husband and I were dating, (sorry to say), I did embellish a little. But I was a dumb teenager and thought that sex had to sound the way it did in the movies. 🙂 I would never do that now, I want my husband to be sure that every noise I make, and every other way I show pleasure is genuine, so he feels completely secure. Plus, faking is not very conducive to good communication-how will he know if I enjoy something or not?
No. I’ve never really understood the reasoning behind that either. If you fake your husband will think your satisfied and finish. Your only short changing yourself, besides you’d be basing your LM on a lie, that can’t be healthy for your marriage. When we were first married I didn’t always orgasm everytime and that was ok. I think it’s a learned behavior. After I had a baby it seemed to happen regularly so there was never a need to “fake” Also I usually have a lot of discharge during orgasms and I don’t think I could do that on my own.
I have before…sometimes my hubby had a hard time finishing, if he was worried that I wasn’t enjoying it, even if I had already O’d. So, I would fake it so he would finish. It wasn’t that I wasn’t enjoying it, but I can’t always keep them coming…so to speak.
I gotta say, I actually have been tempted before b/c my DH used to get so down on himself when I couldn’t orgasm. Never did fake it though, and I was always glad later. I just can’t decieve my best friend and lover like that – far better to talk through what I like and what feels good, and also to talk through why he shouldn’t measure how good a lover he is based on how many times I can O.
I did once during our very early marriage (as in first few months). I knew it wasn’t going to happen for me and he was determined to make sure it did. I was tired, getting sore and over it. I felt terrible and never did it again. Now I know that I can tell him its not working and he’s ok with that.
A Nonymous, I know my husband has done this once or twice too, I wouldn’t really call it faking, but he finished before me, but because he wanted me to finish too, he didn’t act like he had had one, and tried to keep going. Afterward he told me what happened-I though it was thoughtful. 🙂
I can relate to that, Maureen and hisgirl, there were times in our early marriage where I was tempted, because in healthy marriages, it IS so important to the husband that he know his wife is pleased, but like you said hisgirl, they can feel like they’re inadequate or something if it doesn’t happen. But we’ve have gotten so great about communicating during and after, praise God, that it isn’t a big deal at all to him if I say “I just don’t think it’s gonna happen for me right now…” And usually his response is “Ok, I’ll take care of you later?” Which is a positive, because it just leads to more sex later!! Win win!!
I , too, did it once early on in our marriage, but have learned how to communicate what my needs are and where I am at. I was able to communicate with my husband one night on a date that sometimes my body doesn’t respond the way we want it to. When that happens it does not mean that I am not enjoying sex or that I am disappointed in him. At that time, I promised him I would never “fake” it and always commmunicate with him in a loving way. I have never needed to fake it since!! And, my husband is very proud of his 90% success rate!