Position #81: Rear Entry Pool Style

This is the third in my summer water positions series.  This one is a really fun rear entry one that is sure to please you both!

You will need a pool ladder for this one.  The wife will climb up the ladder to the second step, as if she is getting out of the pool.  She will hold on to the part of the ladder that connects to the cement.  The husband will come up behind her and stand on the bottom step.  He will grab hold of the ladder as well and pull himself up touching his wife’s bum.  He can then penetrate and begin to thrust.  The wife can also help with the thrusting by backing into her husband.  To see how this position looks, click here.

Pros: This is a unique take on an oldie but goodie!  This position works for both vaginal and anal sex.

Cons: You may need a silicone based lube to help with the water issues.

Mixed denomination marriages

We had a reader that asked us a question about “mixed marriages”, meaning marrying someone of a different denomination. I qualify to answer this question since my husband and I were as opposite as night and day. I grew up in the Catholic church and he grew up in the Baptist church. I don’t know where I got the idea when I was growing up, but I always thought of the Baptist religion as the “Anti-Catholic”. I could NEVER imagine myself going to a Baptist church.

When I met my husband, I had a revelation from God that this was the man he intended for me to marry. We had only known each other for 2 weeks. He knew when we first met; it took me 2 weeks more! Even though I was a fairly new Christian, I felt that God was telling me that this was the one. And this is where our adventure began.

The first thing we had to do was decide on where we were getting married. It was our first opportunity to make a compromise, so that our wedding was a combination of both of our beliefs and experiences. The Lutheran church (Missouri Synod) was similar enough to Catholicism to me, and he thought it was Protestant enough for him, so that is where we got married.

Now when DH and I were considering churches, we tried many churches. We went to a mass together at a Catholic church, and he didn’t like it at all. I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t be comfortable in a Baptist church. We started looking for a middle ground that we both would feel comfortable in. We wanted to choose a church that we could raise our children in as a family. In the first four years of our marriage, we tried several Lutheran churches (Missouri Synod), and finally settled in a nondenominational Bible church. We were there for 10 years. Now…guess what? We left the Bible church and are now enjoying a Baptist church. It is very similar to the Bible church we attended for so long, but not actually a traditional Southern Baptist church.

I think there are several things that you need to consider when considering marriage. First of all, God calls us to be equally yoked. By this, God tells us not to be yoked to an unbeliever. (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) Now there are some marriages that have worked out this way…Lee Strobel and his wife, Leslie are examples, but in this case, Lee DID become a Christian after an extensive and exhaustive investigation into the evidence of Christ, but it wasn’t without its trials and tribulations along the way. This isn’t going to work in all marriages. Don’t enter into a marriage thinking you can change your spouse’s mind about religion. It doesn’t always work out the way we want it to. Remember, the only person you can change is yourself. You don’t have control over change in your spouse. Secondly, I highly recommend premarital counseling. This counseling can really help with all areas of your future marriage. It helps you to think through things that will affect your marriage that maybe you haven’t thought about. Sometimes before we get married, we are so in love, we can’t see through the feelings of the moment to think about issues that could come up later in our marriage; religion and where you will attend church is one of those issues. Lastly, since my husband and I were both believers, we didn’t compromise our beliefs, but compromised on the church body where we felt that we could worship God together, raise our children and feel like it was our “home”. Some of you may have decided to attend the wife’s church or the husband’s church. If it works for you, that’s great. If there is a comfort level involved though, I feel it is important to look for a church where you both can worship together. My comfort level was really tested when DH and I looked for a church, but in the end, we spent 10 years in a church that my Dad thought made me a “bible thumper”, but my relationship with God blossomed there. It honored God that we, as a couple and as a family, decided to make it a priority to find a church body where we could grow as a couple and where we could raise our children to know Him.

Where should you choose? That is totally up to you, your spouse and God. I would take it in prayer to God. Listen for God’s guidance. He could lead you to any denomination. He could lead you to a church that is nondenominational. He could lead you to a home church. If you are very staunchly rooted in your religion, whatever it may be, and you would never compromise on your religion, it wouldn’t be wise to marry someone outside of your religion. I have seen for myself the results of this in my own parents. Prayerfully consider what God has planned for you and your spouse. He would never lead you wrong!

Weekly Poll #10: How often do you go commando?

Monday’s Mission #69

Your mission this week is to think about if you and your husband should start preparing for a fall or winter getaway weekend. Perhaps you are in a financial situation that requires you to save some money prior to going away or you need to figure out childcare or work issues. Weekend or overnight getaways are opportunities for you and your husband to build wonderful memories so I’d really encourage you to make this a priority if you can manage it. If you see obstacles in the way of you being able to do this, petition the Lord to remove them and make a way for you.

Position #80: Waterlingus

As you can probably tell from the title, this is a cunnilingus position designed with a swimming pool or body of water in mind.  You will need a raft, tube, or noodle.

To begin with, the wife needs to get some type of flotation device.  Noodles work great for this, or some type of small raft.  The couple goes to wherever the ladder or steps are in the pool and the husband leans back or sits on them.  The wife lies back onto her noodle in a floating position, and puts her feet up on the ladder or side of the pool, around her husband’s head.  The husband is now able to pull her into him and give her oral sex.  This one should be pretty easy to picture, but just in case, click here.

Pros: Another carefree position for the wife.

Cons: Make sure your flotation device keeps you afloat!

Q&A: Touch Me Not!

“I’m a man who has really just started to discover greater intimacy with my wife, both emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  However, one thing that we run into is our young children tend to touch her and grab all day.  When they are asleep and we want some time together, it makes it hard for my wife to want to be touched.  I completely understand why she doesn’t want to be touched.  Are there any ways to help her out?  I’m not having marital problems; I just know this is one area that makes it difficult for her to respond.  How can I help her?”

As a woman with two children of my own, I can certainly relate to this wife’s issues of not wanting to be overly touched at the end of the day.  My children are older elementary school age right now, but it wasn’t that long ago that they were both toddlers.  I remember those tireless days of diaper changes and constant pulling on my clothes saying:  “Hold me!  Hold me!”  Having little hands touching and pulling and grabbing and pinching and scratching and pawing at you all day long certainly can put you off to touch.  It can almost desensitize you to the point that even touches from larger hands (your husbands) just feel like more of the same.  The question is what can we do about it?  Or what can our husbands do to help us with this issue?

Many wives, especially those who are home all day, typically wake up in “mommy mode” and stay that way until bedtime.   It’s hard to separate yourself from that.   I remember actually flinching one time, when my husband came up behind me and touched my shoulders while I was washing dishes.  He had meant to be comforting to me, but was shocked to have me jump from his touch.  I knew that I was a little ‘on edge’ and that I really needed something to change.

One thing that I had always found comforting was my prayer time.  Whether it was during a hot bath alone in the bathroom after my husband was home to take care of the kids, or in bed at night when everyone was finally asleep, my prayer time with God had always been very comforting to me.  I loved being able to talk to Him and feel His presence with me.  It was as if He was wrapping his arms around me and I felt so full of His love.  My husband had communicated to me that he was only trying to do the same.  He wanted me to feel comfort in his touch as well.  He wanted his strong hands to soothe me and make me feel safe.  We talked about it at great length and I promised that I would make a conscious effort to work on it on my end, and I did.  I prayed and asked God to help me feel my husband’s touch as a soothing one, the way I felt comforted in my Heavenly Father’s arms.  And my husband worked on his end too, trying to keep his “playful groping” to a minimum (at the time, now I’m all for playful groping! 😆 )  He would turn his touches into mini massages for me, rubbing my tired muscles for a minute while he kissed my neck or forehead.  His touches started becoming something that I looked forward to at the end of my day, and that made us both happy.

Something else that helped was my husband giving me some “ME TIME” when he got home from work.  After dinner, he would have playtime with the kids, or take them outside, and I would go take a long hot shower or relaxing bath, and just have some personal time away from everyone.  It’s amazing what 20-30 minutes can do for you mentally (and physically).  When I came back I would feel more relaxed and I would see him playing with our children and feel so blessed that I had such a thoughtful husband.

Here is a suggestion for all of you couples out there who are struggling with this issue a little yourself.  Husbands, your wives are feeling bombarded with touch all day long, but usually it is the same body parts being poked and mashed.  Find out which body parts are being overly touched during the day.  It may be that she can’t seem to do any housework without the toddler wanting to grab onto her legs all day, or she can’t sit down without having someone constantly in her lap or grabbing on her arms trying to climb up.  Whatever parts are getting the brunt of the touches, avoid those areas for a while and concentrate on the others.  If she complains that she is tired of being touched on her torso area, then try giving her a scalp massage or running your fingers through her hair soothingly as she sits beside you to watch a tv show.  If she complains that her face and hair are constantly being touched and pulled by baby all day, then at night when you have some time, ask her to lie across your lap on the sofa while you massage the muscles in her legs or give her a foot rub.  Try to give attention to the parts of her body that aren’t already being touched 24/7.  Be gentle and soothing with your touches, so that she begins to welcome it.

As far as sex goes, you may want to try doing some things that are a little different.  You can use your hot breath on her neck and other areas without touching her.  You can use something unusual like a soft feather to arouse her.  You could have a night where the only thing you are allowed to touch her with is your tongue 🙂    (Oh, and of course you can reverse that too!)  You may find that this may be a good time to try using satin sheets at night.  They may be appealing and comfortable for your wife, after being touched all day.  Satin feels so nice on the skin.

Know that there is light at the end of this and that most of the time this issue resolves itself, as the children grow older.  That will happen all too fast, so try to be understanding with each other and make sure that you talk often.  As always, if any of you women have walked through this yourself, please leave any advice or words of encouragement for this couple and others, in the comment section.

Weekly Poll #9: What kind of kisser are you?

Monday’s Mission #68

Your mission this week is to get a black light for your room and then have fun with glow in the dark things like white lingerie and messages written on your body with a highlighter. This is going to add a unique and lighthearted element to your love making. Just have fun with it.

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