Sex As We Age: Introduction

I am going to be conducting a series of interviews with women who are more mature in age in hopes that those of us who are younger can catch a glimpse into some of the things that we might encounter in our marriage beds as we get older. Every woman will answer the same set of questions and you will find it interesting to see how unique the circumstances might be.

So stay tuned for these interviews to be salted  in with our other articles in the coming months.

15 Comments

  1. Yeah!!!
    I’m looking forward to this. I’m getting older (46) and would love to hear from some of them how they keep the fires burning and if they are still “nymphos” in their later years. 🙂
    I’m planning on many more years of good sex with my DH.

  2. Girl, don’t you know that the 40’s are the new 30’s!? 😆 But I am looking forward to hearing from older and more experienced women in this area too. (I’m mid 30’s)

  3. I believe you’d think we’re “more mature in age”; I’m 55, DH is 56. We still have delirious sex, even better than when we were first married, although not as often. But still, usually about twice a week, and it seems to get better all the time. So fear not, younger ladies!

    (We both look at least ten years younger, feel 10 years younger, and act 10 years younger — I think the frequent sex helps!)

  4. I once read an article about people on the island of Sardinia, off Italy. The scientists were studying them because the number of people over the age of 100, per capita, was one of the highest known. They interviewed many of these older people and the results indicated that
    1. they continued working into their 100’s;
    2. Exercise-they walked every where they went;
    3. Sardinian red wine was consumed daily and discovered to have a higher content of phytosterols (the good stuff) than Italian or French reds;
    4. AND they continued to have lots of sex!
    True- be a Berean and look it up.
    Contrast that with a women’s magazine article I skimmed while waiting to check out of the market-you know the one- and a hand full of 20 something women thought that people didn’t have sex after 40!
    No wonder many Americans are dying too young.
    And for the comment by Hot Mama that follows, I submit that the very reason you both look, feel and act 10 years younger is precisely because its still “delerious”! Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

  5. Okay…this is all good and interesting,
    Being older myself and is my wife , we’ve walked through the younger more experimental years sexually. Now at this point for me, since I’ve retired, I have found a new or rekilndled interest in intimatacy with my wife.
    I’m fifty four years old. Still in pretty good shape. My wife is two years younger than I and still is as, “hot” to me or maybe “hotter” even than in her younger years.
    My question is for all you older gals out there:
    When age advances, and your body changes do you still have the same points, and places for arousal? Also, since, “growing up” do you still find your husband’s body interesting to you?
    I’m seeking answers as to how to reinvent my wife’s passion for sex, now that we are both a little older.

  6. I have only been part of this community for a few months. I am not sure how many people you will find here as part of your age group (or older!) that can speak from experience. Check out The Marriage–they have a section on sex after 60, with about 600 postings. On there I also saw a link, which I followed, for “Caroline’s Place Online”–the link from TMB made it clear that it is not necessarily Christian. The lady from CPO was pretty open about her extreme pleasure in her relationship of many years. I believe that she states she is now in her 70’s. (Not every woman 20 years older than you, with a great attitude towards love and marriage, is as conversant on the internet, as she is!) Hope the information helps!

  7. Guessing that I qualify as an “older gal” being nearly 50, I can tell you that our love life has never been better. We are empty-nesters and have a huge amount of freedom that we never had before. We can sleep in late, have lots of “encounters” at our own leisure. It is like we are on a lifelong honeymoon.

    This is my second marriage…the first lasted for over 20 years. I never even knew what a “G-spot” was until I married the 2nd time. My husband of nearly 6 years (who was also my H.S. sweetheart) is so unselfish and desires to always please me first and foremost! I never knew how many ways I could orgasm and we continue to find more. We use toys, have ALL kinds of sex…he often tells me I will be the death of him as he thinks he has trouble keeping up with me. Ha, Ha.

    I have read about a lot of women who have had hysterectomies and been through menopause. There is a lot of good info. here to read on that subject. I would just encourage you to be patient if she is in this stage of life. Some women are less aroused, sex can be uncomfortable…others are more excited than ever. You know your wife better than anyone. A lot of snuggling can go a long way…letting her know that you don’t have to have sex EVERY time you are naked together. Honestly, I think a lot of women get in the mood when they know that they are not pressured for sex or that it is expected. However, if there are physical or emotional issues going on talk with your wife about them; she may have something going on that she doesn’t know about. When was her last check-up?

    Share ideas…things that you would like to do FOR HER. Ask her what she likes and wants you to do for her…”Honey, is there anything that I can do for you”??? (with that look that only you can give). If she says, “Honey, I’m tired…maybe later”. Offer to give her a body massage later after she takes a hot bath. These are just suggestions of things that I like and things that my husband has said to me that reaped huge benefits. As aging adults, we do have more aches and pains than we used to, but that hasn’t stopped us…maybe slowed us down at times…or deferred sex till later in the day…but not stopped us.

    Share this site with her. My husband did with me. It wasn’t long after that I had my own sexual reawakening. We have sex at least as often as we did when we first got married….no, definitely more often…one to three times a day. We added some new “spices” to our sexual brew! Sometimes that’s all it takes; doing something new and out of the ordinary…something she will never forget.

    About 2 months ago, I bought this incredible (very revealing) outfit…complete with thigh high boots, garter and stockings. I had already made ribeye steaks on the grill with all the extras. I told hubby not to come in the house and that I would call him when everything was ready. Hubby was very pleasantly surprised when this woman he barely recognized called him from the back porch of our home. The look on his face was priceless. His eyes just popped out of his head…I was even amazed. I had rolled my long hair all over my head, wore a little more make-up than normal…dressed in all black with sparkly jewelry on I knocked his socks off. I told him that his loving wife had hired me to serve him for the evening and that he could have what ever he wanted on the menu! Mind you, I have never done this in my entire life…never thought that I would do something LIKE THAT…never even thought about it until I read about it on this site. It was a fun filled night that I will never forget and neither will my hubby!!! I told my hubby that it was his turn next to surprise me with a show. He asked what I wanted him to do…my reply?…a strip tease show complete with dancing!

    Have fun as you continue your journey of intimacy with your wife and may God Bless you both.

  8. Hey oldersammy,
    READ READ READ. If you can allocate some time to go to a library or browse web sites regarding what mature women experience, sexually, you will learn tons.

    To answer for myself would mean nothing as we are all so very different. It would be better to now embark upon a learning curve with your darling as to what SHE likes and does not like. Far more productive and you will have less frustration trying to apply random info to her when she is well able to let you know who she is sexually.

    I find my man so awesomly exciting. He is a body builder and the admiration I have for his discipline is huge. I have joined him by getting my cute, multi-pregnancies, body in shape. We rock together !

    Not to daunt you though if you are not interested in fitness. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder when it comes to marriage. I love him because he is mine. If he was out of shape, I would still adore him because he is mine.

    Most important of all is to show real love and adoration to your wife. Serve her and see to her every need. You may find that there are areas in your marriage which have been sorely neglected…time to shore those up and have a great time with each other doing so. It is never too late to respark a marriage. We are so much more in love than we have ever been.

    All God’s richest blessings of God honoring, wild and crazy, gloriously unselfish plus totally fulfilling romantic love, be upon both of you.
    smP

  9. Oh my gosh, LivingSolomon’sSong, you have had me giggling all the way through your writing. I relate to much of what you have written. Way to go woman.
    May our marriages rock well into our ….who knows…80’s / 90’s. Yeeaaahhh.
    I totally enjoyed your post. Thanks.

  10. Smoke,
    Hey I’m in great shape haha. I coach hockey …our son’s high school team…it keeps me fit .
    Your statement of you being much more in love now that you’ve ever been is at the heart of it, isn’t it?

    Where my life with my wife goes from here remains to be seen but the advice from wives such as yourself serves to prove for me that women still DO LOVE TO BE LOVED.

    Got any advice as how I could direct my wife to this site, without her being aware that it was me that wanted her to come here ????

    Not being sneaky, just not wanting to offend her…and maybe it could answer questions that I believe she might has, but does not ask.

    Thanks for you words and may God Bless you and your husband.
    J

  11. Wow,
    I have been taking to heart some of the advise given throughout this site. I have been more involved in conversation with my wife. Not sexual conversation. Simply conversing more with her on subjects ranging from her job to biblical questions posed to her concerning origins of sin and the fall of men.
    Not really what one would term as pillow talk….but a very extensive conversation insued between the two of us Saturday morning. We sat on the couch drinking our morning coffee, …devling into the deeper sides of the temptation of Eve, and satan’s seperation from God while still holding his heavenly post. I suppose we sat there and talked for over an hour.
    I then told her I was going to take a shower, and get ready for our later trip to our son’s hockey game that was to be played in the late afternoon in a city two hours from where we live.
    I had gotten out of the shower ….the bathroom door was closed, and there came a knock on it. I opened the door and my wife was standing there, and then she asked, …”you wanna get naked …..we have some time before we have to leave?” ….I was of course willing and able.
    We then spent a very relaxing time of slowly arousing each other….not a lot different from other occassions between the two of us.
    But…..in her rise to orgasim, ……she continued ….and continued…..multiple times . She stated in a post pleasure state…..”wow….that hasn’t happened to me since I don’t remember. I haven’t had that happen since having had my hyster.” ….she stated this fact…giggling and repeating it a couple of times, as she was getting dressed.
    So……I guess there is hope for us….even now after we have reached the advanced years.
    It’s early now as I write this….I’m setting here …..thinking today’s morning coffee conversation we should maybe delve into the topic of , “The Trinity” and the three personages and their devinely assigned fuctions……then head to the shower. ………..

  12. My husband and I, were born in 1946. We have been married for 46 years. Our sex life has always been great. The older we grow, the better it is for both of us, even though age takes its toll. Being retired, we have more time together without having the stress of daily life (children gone from home, no more pressure from work etc.). The reason things are ever better, is because we always have put all along our marriage as a top priority (before anybody or anything else: kids, work, friends…) and so, when my husband had retired or the children gone, it was not a big emptiness for both of us but a renaissance of our love life. However, as the body gets old, it does have an impact in our sex life: DH cannot have an erect penis as fast as before. What used to make his penis glorious instantly in the first 44 years (just the thought of my body for example), takes him now a fair amount of time with my help. But, he does succeed in being firm for taking me so far without the help of drugs (Viagra, Cialis…).
    So, one of the secret of success for a great sex life in our old age, are the ingredients we put in our married life steadily on the emotional side, in order to keep being in love with each other: regular dating (once a week), always pleasing my spouse and make him happy. Cuddling at night with a lot of pillow talk (do not be afraid to express words of love and your desires), spooning and sleeping naked together (great way of bonding) … do help things a lot for arousal or wanting to pleases me sexually. Most of all, when it comes to sex, is to get the feeling we are loved and being loved, regardless of our imperfect and aging body without any doubt or fear. My husband loves more than ever my breast even though they are not as perky as before but they sure are as sensitive as 46 years ago to his sucking

  13. So glad to have found this article. I am going to be 50 in a couple of months and it is so heartening to hear from women older than me who are still in the throes of delirious sex.

    Will forward the Sardinia facts to my H of 21 years and let him know that we are on the right track!

  14. AWESOME!!! and totally reassuring

  15. I had not seen this article before today, and am happy that you pointed it out. My husband and I are both 50+, and our sex life has never been better! I encourage both husbands and wives to exercise, eat well, and make great sex a priority.


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