Weekly poll #20: How important is it to YOU that your spouse climaxes during intercourse?


  1. My DH has trouble climaxing during early morning sex. He is fine with it, but it frustrates me greatly.

  2. This is good food for thought. I checked “extremely important” but that tells me I have to be careful here. I think its extremely important to my PRIDE. And that is not so good. Are my feelings hurt if he doesn’t? Why? If he’s not there, he’s not there. If he wants to take a break and come back tomorrow, or the next day, he should be free to do that. He has enough on his to-do list without having to add “climax so my wife’s feelings aren’t hurt” on his list. Just because its important to me that I climax (at least once) every time, I can’t assume that he wants to every time, can I? Does anybody think that wanting your DH to climax could put too much pressure on him?

  3. Yes, I can certainly see how it could make a husband feel pressured if his wife expects him to climax every single time. Like you, I also voted “extremely important” but I do realize that making love is so much more than orgasms. This poll is a good one to make us think, huh?

  4. Is climax different from ejaculate?
    This is a new concept to me… I never imagined him *not* climaxing…

  5. Climax is just another term for orgasm, and yes, orgasm can occur with or without ejaculating, for both husbands and wives. 🙂

  6. I agree. This is kind of a foreign concept to me. DH never doesn’t climax. I can’t even imagine sex without it. I thought if a man started they pretty much always finished??

  7. Ok, I knew he could orgasm without ejaculating… I thought that the question/discussion was inferring that he could ejaculate without having an orgasm.

  8. Yes, some guys will choose to not climax even when they could. Some do it so the next time is better, others do it so there can be a next time sooner. All these guys will tell you they are not just going through the motions for her, but very much enjoy intercourse when she is the only one to climax. IOW, they would much rather have no climax sex than skip it till later.

    BTW, this becomes more common as a man gets older.

  9. I also voted extremly important. It is almost always a given that he will, but there has been a couple of times, in all our years together (22) that he hasn’t. I think it was a bigger deal for him than me. Now he is working on having multiple O’s during sex. Apparently it can be done. If anyone knows how I’d love to hear from you.

  10. I thought that ejaculation and orgasm were the same for a guy. It is that way for my DH.

  11. I voted “Important, but I realize it isn’t going to happen every time”. With my DH, it usually does happen all or at least most of the time, but I don’t stress and call our lovemaking a failure because he or I didn’t orgasm. I love the intimacy. I love feeling him inside me. To me, that is more important than the orgasm in lovemaking. My DH would probably answer “Extremely important. I want it to happen every time.”

  12. When my wife and I make love, I can’t help but think that it’s my job to bring her to an O. For years she did not enjoy sex, and I feel that was at least partially because I wasn’t doing enough to address her needs physically. Now she is getting older and it’s harder and harder for her to get to the point of orgasm, which makes me try even harder to help her to get there. She tells me otherwise, but I still can’t shake the nagging thought that if she can’t get one, I’m not doing a good job in bed, and she’s not going to want to make love in the near future again.

  13. Have you used a vibrator? I have come to except that it may not always happen. 99% of the time we use it I O! My husband enjoys using it on me and I do not give up so easy. Cowgirl is a great position to have the dh stay in and still please dw if she bends back! He gets a great view!!! It does not always work, but don’t loose heart! Like Cinnomonsticks said, Just accept it and enjoy your time together. I do not always O it still feels great and just being with my dh is enough for me! It also helps me if I go three days or more between O’s. I hope this helps! God bless!

  14. I often think that there is a difference between ejaculation and orgasm. I think I always ejaculate, but orgasm? Somewhat less common in our relationship. It’s more like a tension-release than a true orgasm.

  15. i would not worry about it.

    sex feels good for many reasons, not just orgasm. it sounds like she orgasms most of the time, so i would listen to her and stop. if she touches you intimately but you do not have an orgasm, it probably still feels good or more importantly if you gave your wife an orgasm, but you did not have one yourself would you necessarily feel bad?

    i would actually feel worse if it became a big deal. just relax and enjoy being with her.

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