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Sept.12: The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie OMartian
Weekly poll #24: How often do you make love?
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I voted 2-4 times a week. We like to do it more often but seeing as how I am 8 months pregnant it gets hard. Hopefully we can up that once baby is born. (This is my third and sex is a huge priority for us, so yes we will be able to up it)
dh would like to everynight, but every other night seems to work just fine for us!
I said 2-4 times a week, though that’s really an average for us. We do NFP, and are trying to avoid pregnancy, so I have 7-10 days a cycle that are off limits. There are usually at least a couple of days at the beginning of my cycle that are too uncomfortable for me. When phase 3 comes (pun intended!) we make love pretty much every night.!
I said once a week, which is normal for us this year, but less that in our previous 5 years of marriage. My hubbie is on some medication that has the side effect of causing low libido, so once a week is about all he can manage atm. This means that for the first time in our marriage he wants to initiate sex less often than I do, which has actually been a huge blessing for us. We now each have an insight into what it’s normally like for the other and have learned more about how we can serve each other in this whole area. I think we’re both looking forward to when he can come off the meds and things can get back to normal though!
until about 6 months ago.. every 2-3 weeks! (my fault – not really intersested ) and when we did it was usually my request to “make it quick”. NOW, however, i have hit my sexual peak or stride or whatever it is but i am going with it.. and we have sex ever other or every 3rd day.. and i don’t think i will utter the words ‘make it quick” anytime soon either!
Good for you, Deeni!
I said 2-4, because at the moment we are both working pretty demanding jobs, (I do seasonal work for 3-5 weeks at a time) But when I’m not working, it’s more than 7! We got married 5 1/2 months ago, and it’s so encouraging to read these stories. I hope to always keep a glow in our marriage bed. 🙂
just to report a fact. many couples make love or have sex once a month or less. i say this only because some women think if they are not having sex every day, they are not “normal” and their marriage has a problem — not true.
i am a teacher getting my masters and study mostly teenage psychology, but also some adult psychology — including about sex and i assure everyone here the “normal” range of sexual activity is from more than once a day to a few times a year.
now, that said, sex can be a lot of fun so much like the women who run this site i encourage everyone to have it, but …
don’t feel bad if you are on the lower range of “normal”. you should have sex as much as you and your spouse want to have sex.
Thanks for the reminder, LisaB. It is also true that reality does not always square up with desire–seasons of life may make it very difficult to enjoy each other as often as possible–such as a combination of demanding studies, demanding jobs, floating job schedules, care of babies and toddlers, challenges from health issues–and those are just the challenges my husband and I have had in nine years. I can’t imagine what the next seasons of life may bring. (Sex with teenagers at home…)
A close friend and her husband had sex DAILY their first year. The next year her husband went back to school full-time and he started working several nights a week. Their frequency plummeted, and she felt unwanted. That was not really the problem, but she thought it was, and some bitterness crept in. It is really important to communicate a lot with each other, because our default fallen reaction to unmet expectations is bitterness. (Hebrews 12:14-16 encourages us to follow peace, and guard against bitterness, and that doing this will guard us from immorality and profanity)
These are good points, but we should never leave out the God factor. We are told in the bible (1 Cor.7:1-6) we should only abstain for a set time of prayer and fasting. Sex is a part of marriage.The bible doesn’t give out any numbers/time frames but is clear that we should be intimate with our spouse on a regular schedule. Sex is a gift from God to those who are married, to help us grow together.
Someone mentioned teenagers at home… teens who live right across the hall, who stay up later than we do, who like to hang out in the living room which is just below our bedroom… you get the idea. We have lots of fans running in our home, for the privacy issue, but we also look forward to the day when we have the house to ourselves, even though we’ll miss our ‘babies’. 🙂 And to think – I thought it was tough with toddlers in the house. Not even!
I put once a month, but it is actually a little more than that. It would have been between 2-4 or 5-7 until just over 3 months ago. But at the end of August I started have trouble with my migraines. Then basicly suffer a sever migraine the entire month of October. Now I have to have very painful trigger point injections every 2 weeks. This change in our sex life has been very hard on both myself and my DH. Which is only complicated by the fact that both our love primary love languages are physical touch. For those of you familiar with Dr. Chapman’s Five Love Languages, you will understand how hard this is on us. Please pray for us.
In an ideal world we would have sex twice a day, at night to insure that I’m satisfied and in the morning so he has a good day at work. Why so much sex? I have found that we both treat each other better if we’ve had sex the night before. I’m a better mom, we have 6 kids 5 at home the youngest 5 yrs old (we homeschool and I have very little time for myself and DH attention keeps me happy, happy mom, happy home) and I have noticed that DH is just happier and able to handle the everyday stresses of work and home when he starts the day with a smile. If you can make your husbands day better, wouldn’t you? and trust me it will and he’ll be thinking of you all day. Of course it’s not easy and sometimes I would rather sleep in later in the morning and he would rather go to sleep a little earlier, but we make ourselves wake up because we are so worth it. My last tip, get more blankets and shed the clothes in bed. Happily married 28 years.
Right. Ideal. So any idea what box you actually checked? ? ?
You are blessed if your DH has a job that is not so physically demanding that he can handle/even welcomes! sex in the morning–or even daily.
I do agree that lots of sex=happy wife BUT my struggle for just about all of my marriage post-honeymoon (almost 10 years) has been with contentment for the times we do have. My “contentment-meter” has had its ups and downs, and they do not always parallel when we have sex/don’t have sex. It is sex (or the lack of it) PLUS my choice to accept my situation as part of God’s plan for me, in our marriage.
do you count quickies as making love? 🙂
I do definitely! My DH and I have 4 little ones and sometimes all you can squeeze in are quickies! It’s still just as important even if you don’t have a lot of time. 🙂
We are at 1-2 times a week for the most.. At times once every 2wks, it jus depend.
I clicked 5-7 times a week. We usually make love every day, but there’s always the occasional time when we don’t get to it or we’re just too tired. =) Life happens, you know? I find in general that if we go more than 2-3 days without being intimate I start getting really out of sorts – grumpy, irritable, feeling distant from my husband. For the first 6 months that we were married (we’re at a year and a half now) I didn’t realize the pattern and kept wondering what was wrong with me when on the 3rd or 4th day I was not myself. Then I realize what was going on and now we make it a priority. He’s happy. I’m happy. Overall it’s just very good! lol
MC,
I Iike your way of thinking. It just makes life better. We have 9 children, 8 at home with the youngest 7. We’ve always managed to fit it in. I voted 5-7, but over the years that number has changed, sometimes more, sometimes less.
Every morening and every evening seemed good for a ime and then becanme expected, instead of desired. I now do it even if I do not feel like it and feel bad if I want to say no. I know I need to do something about my level of desire, but twice a day has become boring. – Very happily married, but struggling with sex.