Code Words

DH and I have had the most fun lately.   A lot of people (family included) have not caught on to our “code words”.  Have you ever tried them?   Do you have any code words or symbols that you use to let your spouse know that you are in the mood for some good lovin?

With the holiday seasons upon us, our code words have been related to the holidays lately.  Our kids have NO CLUE.   Whenever we have needed some private time while the kids were home from school over Thanksgiving, our code word about “Christmas” came out a lot.   Have you ever tried “Dad and I need to talk about Christmas” ?   It works like a charm, and literally, our teenage son asked us the other day if we had decided what we were getting him for Christmas!   Code words can be a very flirtatious way to interact with your spouse in other forums, too.   Try it out on his home page on Facebook or Myspace!!   If you think of creative catch phrases that sound harmless, it is a very good way to unexpectedly give your spouse something to think about or look forward to.   Trust me, my own family members have fallen for this.   My DH and I get a giggle when an aunt asks if we decided what to buy her in all our discussing!

I recently did an article about the game “A Private Affair”.   They had a unique idea with their game.   A simple pin that you could wear as a secret code between you and your spouse.  If you wear it during the day or out in public where your spouse can see it, he knows that you have something special planned or in mind.   And the code doesn’t have to be about sex.  It could be an “I am thinking about you” or ” You are on my mind right now” or an “I thought about sex today”  kind of code as well.

Other types of codes can be slipping a pair of panties in his briefcase or over his rear view mirror, sending a text on his phone or a sexy email, writing him a love letter or a “hoochy mail” type story, kidnapping him to an unknown location….the ways are endless.

After the holidays are over, we’re going to need to come up with a new code for our secret rendezvous…. let the creativity roll!


  1. Not necessarily holiday-related, but hubby and I started using the phrase “washing dishes” when our older kids turned 3 or 4. “Babe, wanna wash dishes later?” “Let’s wash dishes after the kids go to bed.” “Good job washing the dishes last night, honey!” 😉

  2. “Babe, do you wanna ‘come with me’ and help clean our bedroom?” (pun intended)…….hehehe, -the kids will NOT follow you upstairs to “clean” anything… 😉

  3. but what do you do when your kids notice that the sink is full of dirty dishes? 😉

  4. ah, we should come up with more ‘codes’ – the ones mentioned are funny 🙂
    We squeeze each others hands sometimes, three squeezes for ‘i love you’, and the reply is four for ‘i love you, too’.

    Oh, and talking about ‘we should have a date soon’ is perfectly acceptable to do in front of in-laws 😉

  5. That’s the kicker! Hubby and I aren’t really good about actually doing the dishes, so most nights we try to wash dishes before ‘washing dishes’. Ha!

  6. This reminds me of a story I once read in a Chicken Soup for the Soul book. Basically this couple never got to go on a real honeymoon. Life, many children later and all through their marriage, they saved up for that one day special trip. Every time they ever made love, they would put a dollar in a jar. The husband would come home from work and say, “I’ve got a dollar” and the wife would smile and say, “I know how to spend it” The daughter who was writing the story said they always thought it was just to save for that someday big trip and it wasn’t until she was grown did it all become clear. Needless to say, at the end of the story the now older couple went on their honeymoon. The Daughter mentioned that she and her brothers and sisters never did find out how much money was in the jar. 😉 Anyway, it was such a cute story and this article reminded me of it. 🙂

  7. There are “code words” and code touches. My DH knows what is coming up when I rub his neck and upper arms. It looks innocent and harmless to others, but he knows exactly what it means!

  8. What a great idea Katie Bee. I never would have thought of that, but I can see how fun that could be teasing the hubby but nobody else knowing what you are up too makes it more fun. Thanks for sharing!

  9. After reading Dave Barry’s recent and very, very funny review of 2009, DW and I have a new code phrase, “Hiking the Appalachian Trail”. “Wanna go hiking later?” will work real well.

  10. One night my hubby thought it was fun to play a game of “distract my wife with foreplay while she vainly attempts to cook dinner”. I kept laughing and saying “Baby, it’s not that I don’t want you, but I am trying to cook here!” He just grinned and said “So am I!” Ok, game over! I quickly threw the rest of my ingredients in their respective pots and followed him to the bedroom. (It was so adorable, how could I resist?)
    So now if we will talk about ‘trying a new recipe’ or ‘cooking something when we get home’ we both know what it means. Sometimes he will just tell me “I really love your cooking!” or “you’re a great cook!”. I know when he is actually talking about food, because he will specifically say “we need to make taco soup/chicken parmesean/etc. for dinner” instead of using the words cook or cooking, or ‘new recipe’.
    It’s so arousing to have a secret language. And believe me, this one goes for miles! You can really elaborate and have fun with it and no one has a clue how sexual you are being! If we really get into a ‘conversation’ we can barely keep our clothes on by the time we hit our door at home!
    P.S. The best part is when other people join in and have no idea your talking about sex and not culinary skills! Bonus points!

  11. Frazzy,
    That’s a good one! Funny! 🙂

  12. My husband just surprised me with middle of the day sex when our three kids were all napping at the same time (which happens about as often as the planets line up). He paused “Midday Connection”–a podcast I was listening to. Later he said he thought I would prefer a different Midday Connection than the one I was listening to. 🙂

  13. that’s a good one, Tiger Girl! (I know what you mean about the planets aligning and kids naps!)

  14. This is one of the best ways to have some “secret” fun as a married couple. We are constantly coming up with “code” words. One of our favorites is the word “pineapple” it started as a silly conversation about the fact the pineapple is supposed to make a guy taste better for swallowing during oral. Now he loves to mention to people how his wife just loves pineapple. His eyes start sparkling and I know he’s thinking about me and I’m thinking naughty about him.

  15. we’ll call it doing the laundry

  16. Like on Friends!

  17. Hubby and I have more physical cues than word cues, but I like some of these ideas! I’m sure as our kids get older the action of me using my butt against his front to back him up into the cabinets will get a little obvious, but for now they don’t notice a thing. He also likes to come up behind me and help me “cook” when I’m at the stove. Even without words these are surefire indicators that somebody wants somethin to happen later! Or sometimes it might be something as simple as me grabbing the waist of his pants and tugging just a bit while I talk to him. Kids don’t think anything of it, but he sure does!

  18. We do that one too!!

  19. My hubby’s and my code word is fun. We say it in front of anyone. Especially because we are a young couple nobody thinks twice when I say that “I want to have fun.” But beware for the younger kids they might ask what kinda fun? lol.

  20. We say we’re going to our room to pray … or another one we started doing recently is I’ll say I want to “go downtown” or “go to town” and that is his hint. Then I’ll say later, I really enjoyed going downtown earlier today. haha. Nobody is any the wiser! And the praying thing works because if the kids come down and we’re in the middle of “it”, we just tell them we’ll be out shortly when we’re done “praying”. They think we pray a lot! lol Either that or they’re onto us. Either way, we enjoy our time together!

  21. haha! It just came out in my husband’s family that when my in-laws were “praying” they were really having sex… so now my hubby and I will joke with his teenage sister that we are gong to go home and pray… its too funny to watch her reaction!!!! most of the time we are just trying to get a reaction from her, but it usually turns one of us on too… lol

  22. My fiance and I do the “I love you” one too! 🙂

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