So, I appreciate this site in its endeavor to show that sex is something that, within the boundaries of marriage, should be enjoyed and celebrated. For much of the unsaved world, sex has become a ‘god.’ They worship the creation (of sex), rather than the Creator of sex (God). They live for sex. How do believers combat this false ideology? In my life, I think I’ve built sex up in an unhealthy manner. What steps should I take to keep a balanced view of enjoying the creation of sex but not worshiping the creation of sex?
These are some truly great questions that I am going to try to tackle and in the comment section, we can start a discussion of other ideas on how to keep sex from being a god in our own lives.
Our world has changed so much in the past 40-50 years. In my lifetime, it started with “women’s lib” and the “free sex” era. It has continued on from there to a world today where sex isn’t something special. It is something to do. You don’t love your boyfriend/girlfriend unless you have sex with them. It’s okay to have sex male with male, female with female. It’s okay to live with each other, whether heterosexual or homosexual, and not make the commitment. Marriage is “old fashioned” to the heterosexual communities, but is something wanted by the homosexual communities even though the commitment is easily broken by either community with a divorce for “irreconcilable differences”. Children are being brought up in homes where affairs are occurring on a regular basis. If Mommy or Daddy can do it, why can’t I? Why can’t I have more than one lover? Satan, in the guise as promiscuous sex, has overrun this world. And why not, God has given it to him. He is the ruler of this world, and we as Christians fight hard battles daily to live and breathe the Bible because we know that this world is only temporary. The best is yet to come.
While we cannot change society as a whole, we can do one of two things… (1) continue to teach and preach the Good News to any and all who will have an open mind and heart to hear it and (2) stick to our guns and beliefs and not let the world dictate to us what they perceive as the truth.
Let’s start with my first point. Christians live in a fallen world. I said we cannot change society as a whole. That is true. I have read a comment from someone on our homepage that isn’t a Christian, and sounded truly hurt and angered by the holier than thou attitudes of some Christians. Before I was a believer, I felt that way, too. Christians are hypocrites at times. Look at what we have seen from our so called “leaders” (people who the world sees as our leaders because they are out there in the media) – Jimmy Swaggert – sex scandal; Jim Baker – sex scandal; Ted Haggerd – homosexual relationships; we even read of Catholic priests who engage in sexual behavior not appropriate to the church. If this is what the world sees is a Christian, why in the world would they want to be one? These holier than thou people are hypocrites that say one thing and do another. That’s where each of us, individually, need to take action. We need to show the non-believing world the Christ in us. Our actions do speak louder than our words. Yes, we believe in what the Bible says. Why? Because we believe it is the true and unerring word of God. When we become Christians, we become perfect, right? No, we are still sinners, we just realize that we need a Savior in Jesus Christ and the rest of our lives is spent attaining a goal we cannot reach (perfection like Jesus), but we strive to live our lives in the goal of modeling what Christ asked us to do. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love you enemy. Sometimes we just need to model Christ’s behavior. Yes, if someone who is not a Christian asks you why you believe sex is only for one man and one woman, yes, you tell them the Bible tells you to do it, but you also tell them of the gift that God gives you and how much better sex can be when you receive the gift he gives you on your wedding day…the sexual union between you and your spouse. It is a beautiful gift, and not just a carnal act between two people. Let the world see your marriage as a sparkling example of what God intends sex to be like. Sometimes, all we can do is stop “preaching” and start modeling. Be more like Christ to those who don’t know Christ. Show them who Christ is through the way you live and act. Glorify and praise God for your marriage bed. Be sure when you thank Him for all He has given you, you thank Him for his wedding gift to you as well. Thank Him for creating sex as a beautiful act and thank Him for saving it for your marriage to your spouse.
My second point is this. Just because the world does it, doesn’t make it right. Remember that we are not of this world, my dear Christian friends. We are only on this world for a time. Jesus Christ will return for his people. We will someday need to account for our actions before God. We will stand before the Judgment Throne of God and we will hear of all our transgressions. I do not look forward to that day, but the saving grace for me and you is the grace that his Son gave you. Do you know his Son? Do you believe that his Son died on the cross to forgive your sins and transgressions? God knows we are all sinners. He knows it is in our sin nature to make bad choices and mistakes. The world expects us to be perfect because we call ourselves Christians. God knows better and doesn’t expect us to be perfect. He knows we cannot, and He loves us anyway. His Son paid for us all. There is nothing we can do to earn our place in heaven. No amount of good deeds can get us there when we die. Only Jesus Christ. If we make a mistake, ask God for forgiveness. Go to the person you sinned against, confess and ask forgiveness as well. I did a bible study awhile back on the woman who was to be stoned for adultery, and Jesus didn’t stone her, he just started writing in the sand. One by one, the men who were there to stone her put down their stone and walked away until only the Lord was left with the woman. He without sin should cast the first stone. Jesus had every right according to law to stone her. He was the only one there without sin. But he didn’t. He showed compassion to her. “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”(John 8:11b)
Dear friends, be humble. Show Christ (and not religion) to all who you encounter in your life. Love your neighbors as yourself, including your enemies. Confess when you wrong them. Thank the Lord for all he has given you, including the gift he gave you on your wedding day. Just like the guest at your wedding who gave you the banana hanger you didn’t ask for expects you to use it, God expects you to use His gift, too. It pleases Him to see you enjoy the gift He gave to you and your spouse. Worship the Creator, not the created. Be thankful to Him for the things He created.
Feel free to start a conversation in the comment section about these questions if you have other ideas that might help this reader with the questions above.
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Christian Nymphos 
Beautiful, beautiful reply Spicynutmeg! I also heard a sermon where the preacher said that marriage is supposed to be a picture to the whole world of the love Christ has for his Church. Christianity is the ultimate romance, if you think about it! Yes, it’s hard and we do fail, but Christian marriages can give the world a glimpse of that special relationship we have with Jesus, our Lord and Saviour.
Wow. I love this article so much! I don’t know you, but if I did, I am pretty sure we would be friends. God has given me such a burden to LIVE my Christian life and not just preach it. The world has enough of the other. Thank you again for writing this.
I have struggled for quite some time with trying to mesh sexuality and spirituality. Well, a couple of nights ago things started to click in my mind. I’m not sure how it started, but I began thinking about Christmas and what I enjoyed most about it (it’s my fave holiday). I love it when I have found the gift my kids will enjoy most, and when they open it and love it, that makes me the most happy. I am the most pleased when I’ve made them very happy. Then I started to apply that to my husband. I realized that unless I got my fair share or if certain things didn’t happen during sex, I wasn’t happy. It was then that I realized how selfish I was. It had never been about pleasing him selflessly. On a subconscious level, what I wanted or expected came first. What I wanted was more important.
All this made something else very clear. Christ came to this earth to show us what true sacrificial love is (washing the disciples feet, etc) and dying on the cross voluntarily is the greatest form of love. It is all about perspective. So I started to change my way of thinking. Now I wanted to put into practice what I had just learned. The next day I wrote out a survey/questionaire for him to fill out when he got home. He wondered where I got it from, but I told him I came up with the questions myself. I wanted to know what he liked and what turned him on the most. I had planned what I would be doing that night. My only thought was to do what pleased him. What I didn’t expect is to get so turned on by just pleasing him! I found I got some what vocal. I told him he could have whatever he wanted. It was so much fun! The next day I teased him in the car that I was tempted to try a repeat, but that I knew he needed to recharge. Well, I guess that night he changed his mind. I was surprised at how quickly I was in the mood again. Again, it was all about pleasing him (which really pleases me). I am so glad my perspective on sex has changed. Now I understand how spiritual it actually is. I am really looking forward to the years ahead. What a fun adventure this is going to be! ; D