Monday’s Mission #85

Your mission this week is to think about a creative gift to give your husband for Valentine’s Day that won’t cost you money. Write him a poem or story. Change the lyrics to a tune you both know so that it becomes a personal song for the two of you. Create some love coupons. It’s time to get creative, ladies! Feel free to brainstorm and share ideas in the comment section.


  1. My husband and will have known each other for exactly 295 days on V-Day (we only dated for 3 months before getting married) so I am writing him a list of 295 things i love about him. Only 98 more to go. It’s harder then it sounds btw. But since he worked really hard to come home from Iraq for V-Day he is well worth every writers cramp. BTW, thanks a million times over for your site.. sex wasn’t talked about when I was growing up…at all, not even a birds and bees talk… your site is really helping me open up verbally to my husband about sex. For that we are both thankful.

  2. i was just thinking about valentine’s day today so this is a good way for me to get the creative juices flowing! we just found this website last week and we have already put many of your ideas to good use! thanks so much.

    so back to valentine’s day… i think i’m going to learn & perform a strip tease for my hubby of 12 years. i’ve never been brave/confident enough to try one, but i think i am going to just “go for it” and i’m pretty excited about it.

  3. Great idea! I’ve been married 21 years, but this will be our 25th V-day together. I’m gonna make a list of 25. πŸ™‚

  4. There are some great female teachers (no nudity in the videos) that put free instrustion videos on youtube nothing to hard but very sexy. Also…Carmen Electra’s workout videos are a great guide. Good luck. You hubby will love it.

  5. Awww, 25… I can’t even imagaine. this is my first V-Day ever not single. I’m so excited. πŸ™‚

  6. Good for you! πŸ™‚

  7. Last year for Valentine’s Day I did something that my husband really liked. I took a picture of myself wearing lingerie with my digital camera. I made a Valentine’s card on the computer and printed the picture of me out on the front. Inside the card I placed some “love coupons” that I had printed out also. He was working late nights at the time. I placed the card on our kitchen table and waited out of sight to catch his reaction. Needless to say he loved it and brings up wanting more coupons from time to time. May do something similar this year.

  8. just to … well … help …

    make sure you tell your hubby that this valentine’s day is very special for you.

    i mean … grab him by the collar, look him in the eyes and tell him specifically that it is a big deal

    then … reduce your expectations by 99%

    not that he will not do a great job … just … do not be disappointed if he does not get the significance … ESPECIALLY if you do not tell him. marriage secret number one, you must tell your husband what you expect from him.

    i say this only because you are a new bride and just reminding you men need help in these things.

  9. i do not mean to be the joy kill, but these are men we are dealing with here. you want to write a poem? does your man know what a poem is? unless it is about the cubs, i am thinking that is risky.

    love coupons? ok.
    strip tease? ok.


    “tarzan come home. it valentine’s day. tarzan bring shiny rock.

    oh, how nice. i wrote you this poem about my feelings.

    poem? what is poem?”

    i am just saying, as an older more experienced woman, write the poem by all means, but e prepared to do something more within the realm of his experience. what i am trying to say is that a woman would probably like to get a poem. try to think like a man.

    like you could grab him by the collar, look into his eyes and say, “hey, you are a very good man and you rock my world. i love you. oh, by the way here is a poem i wrote and some love coupons and now i am going to strip for you.”

    see, that he will get.

    now if your hubby is very romantic, great, forget i said anything. however, my hubby is a farm boy. if he takes me out dancing i will be very impressed. he will proably just take me out to dinner and buy me something i said i liked once. for him that will be very romantic.

    just saying … do not put more pressure on that day than there needs to be. πŸ™‚

  10. Just to give some perspective that not all experiences are like Lisab’s, my husband and I have given each other poems at different points before and they are always enjoyable. His are always very funny and include sentiments about things he loves about me and how he looks forward to our future together. He also wrote me a poem once when my gift was a particular paint color for a feature wall in our house. Poems have been a well cherished gift in this house, whether given with something else or given on their own.

    I have no doubt that you ladies will find a creative way to express your love for your husband that will fit your relationship with your husband really well.

    But this I agree with: “do not put more pressure on that day than there needs to be.” Don’t assume a particular response from him or try to make sure everything is perfect. Just enjoy the process of creating something that will express your love for him.

  11. lisab, while I agree with you that guys are guys, I also agree with cinnamonsticks that some men truly do enjoy poetry. (and not even just on Vday.)
    My DH is a HUGE sports fan…. (sometimes a ridiculously annoying huge sports fan πŸ™‚ ) He’s very much a “man’s man” in every way shape and form. However, he is a musician and a singer. He LOVES creating music and writing songs. So when I wrote a song/poem for him, he was absolutely thrilled. It touched him that I took the time to create something totally unique for him that couldn’t be bought in a store.
    So, while I agree that some guys probably don’t like poetry, there are more out there than you may think who really do enjoy it. Turn the tables for a second to us ladies: there are some of us who love everything having to do with romance and flowers, and some of us who love sports and other “guy” stuff. I was personally floored this holiday season when my hubby presented me with concert tickets to my very fav. rock band! He took the time to really think about what I would want. πŸ™‚ Everyone’s different, and that’s great, because it makes us really think about what our own spouse would really like. I think that was the intention of this mission. Would he prefer a poem and love coupons or an autographed football helmet and a strip tease? Who knows, but I think it’s a cool way to get to know our DH a little better….what would HE really appreciate? Instead of, what is everyone else getting their husbands this year?
    Very fun mission! Thanks, spice ladies, for encouraging us to be creative in our marriages. πŸ™‚

  12. my man is another one of those poem guys. In fact, he even wrote me a poem the night he asked me to court him – I carry it around with me everywhere I go. But we are both romantic saps to the core.
    I’ve written him a few poems and he’s always loved them. Of course, we’re both writers by education and nerds by choice. He’s not a girly-man at all, he just does like poetry πŸ™‚

    I think I may write him another poem this year for v-day…. Not sure what else to do.

  13. “So, while I agree that some guys probably don’t like poetry, …. I agree with you that guys are guys, I also agree with cinnamonsticks that some men truly do enjoy poetry”

    yes, actually i agree, and i believe i mentioned that.

    my more important point was actually that as a gender we need to do a better job communicating with hubbies.

    if your hubby is anything like mine he will walk through fire for you … but you need to let him know where the fire is. πŸ™‚

    that is, it is fine to make a poem or whatever for him, BUT warn him you are planning something sentimental. while he may know enough to write you a poem, do not be surprised if he doesn’t.

    there is nothing worse than if you write him a poem and he wants to take you ice fishing πŸ™‚ i am joking of course, but only a little.

  14. Lexie,
    I am gonna try a strip tease too, But I am not excited about it, I know he will like it. I am so self concious so this will be quite a challange. I have to choose some music, the shorter the better I think , hehe! I am thinking about what to wear, and maybe a littler heavy eye make-up, that part makes me not as nervous. I am not sure if I can practice in front of the mirror or not. I hope soon I will be excited like you are. Hope yours is awesome!

  15. Wow….

    That is a good way to reduce the amount of men reading the site, allow feminist comments that boil down to…

    “Men are emotionally stupid/unromantic/cavemen, women need to tell them everything simply so that they may understand”

    i am stunned

  16. i am naturally very shy too, however i have danced all of my life, and if you are shy of dancing, you just have to practice moving. you can simply go on youtube and watch videos of dancing and just start trying the moves out. you can even look at modern jazzercize if you feel more comfortable.

    for actual stripping there are videos on youtube “How To Perform a Striptease”, you can find one you like. i have never done it myself, but there are videos out there.

    however, you might also want to look at these two scenes from youtube. they were from just awful movies, but both show dancing/stripping in a way that is sexy, but neither actress gets nude. i personally think it is sexier to wear lingerie than to get totally naked anyway.

    “Joe Cocker – You Can Leave Your Hat On” (kim basinger)
    “Demi Moore getting dressed” (demi moore)

    like i said, i have never stripped for my husband before, but i have danced and you certainly do not have to strip naked to be sexy.

    good luck πŸ™‚

  17. My husband is certainly not “emotionally stupid/unromantic/cavemen” but he also is male and does not always understand the female brain just as I don’t “get” him sometimes. We have been married almost a year now and he is still learning that just because we are married doesn’t mean all those romantic gestures he used to do for me can stop because we stay together at night. It is a learning process and more than that a communication process. How can he understand what I need/want if I don’t tell him?

  18. thank you Shelby’sGirl for not intentionally trying to read bad things into my words. you are very correct, you need to tell your husband what you want or need, and on everything, not just the big stuff.

    marriage really is a lot about communication. for example, my hubby is neat, but i am an obsessive compulsive neat freak, i admit it i have a problem. so anyway, i grew up in a normal household where people squeezed the tube of toothpaste from the bottom … like you are “supposed to”. my hubby is from some kind of weird hippy family that squeezes the tube from the middle!!! now, i was willing to overlook this on our honeymoon, but when we came back to the real world, every day i would get up to start my day and the toothpaste tube would be all screwed up!!! now i could have buried this and just fixed the tube of toothpaste everyday and someday exploded …


    i could tell my husband … “honey, please don’t squeeze the toothpaste from the middle.”

    and it works both ways, like i am not allowed to go into “his cave” where he keeps his stuff and clean. see? marriage is all about communication and compromise πŸ™‚

  19. I never imagined that this mission would bring out this kind of reaction in people. It’s simple. Think of some creative way to express your love to your husband. Pick a way that suits you and just do it. Please don’t take the mission or yourself too seriously. This is supposed to be fun and I am sure that your husband will really appreciate whatever you decide to do. This isn’t a mission that requires some intense need to communicate with one another, in fact I assumed you would surprise him with whatever you decided. So just have fun and let go of any ideas that you need to enter into this with caution.

  20. Once again, thanks for the encouragement to be creative! This should be a fun V-day. πŸ™‚ I think my DH finds it exciting wondering what surprises I may have hidden up my sleeve! πŸ™‚

  21. thanks for the tips and encouragement! i like the eye make up idea too, i’m not sure what to wear either. i’ve been checking out the youtube suggestions and they are very helpful. now i need to find time to practice without my kids asking “whatcha doin’ mommy?”

  22. Hey Lexie, you can practice some of your moves in the shower. That’s what I have done. No one there to watch you and if you are like me the hot water can enhance feelings of sensuality if you are thinking about it.

  23. For some reason this year I am having a really hard time trying to come up with something for Valentine’s Day!
    My husband is super romantic and I am afraid there isn’t anything I can do for him that he hasn’t already done for me!
    It feels like trying to get something for the man who has everything, but it’s for the man who has done everything!
    I am just lost!
    Any and all ideas would be helpful!

  24. We don’t do Valentine’s Day much, but my dh’s bday is this month and for his bday I made a Playlist (CD) of “Our Love Story – Told Through Music”. I chose 34 (his age) songs that, put together, tell the story of our relationship from just before we met (Gotta Be Somebody, by NIckelback) to today and into the future (Just Another Day in Paradise, by Phil Vassar) and everything in between.

    Then I wrote out the story (1 page, using the song titles or inserting them where they belonged/fit with the story), wrote out the lyrics to 2 of the songs (the only 2 unfamiliar to him) and had a bday gift he really appreciated.

    I gave it to him this evening, and he loved it. He can put the songs on his iPod or Blackberry (or both), and he saw the work that went into it, and he loved it.

    It’s fairly easy to do, and only cost a bit — I had to buy only a few of the songs, the rest we already had in our iTunes library. Truly, it was a hit gift.

    Other ideas — could do a “Bedroom Playlist” for mood music….include different moods, too — slow and romantic, fast & furious, etc. “Our Soundtrack” – just your favorite songs, whether they tell a story or not. Get creative!

  25. just a little tip: my husband and i used to have really blah valentine’s day dates. it’s hard to get a good sitter, and the restaurants are supper packed and over busy. we would wait for an hour for cold food served by an overworked waiter. so a few years back we got wise and started to celebrate our own ‘valentines day’ celebration on the day after valentine’s. the restaurants are empty and it is so much easier to get out and have stress free fun!

  26. For those of you wanting to try stripping, this is a good song I recently discovered of for it:

  27. I have always wanted to do a strip tease for my husband but I am a chicken. I can’t dance either. I have watched some instructional vidoes on line but I just don’t think I can do it.

  28. lol, i did it once, no practice or nothing. Hubby was happy, despite the fact that I thought i was terrible. chances are, your husband will be thrilled no matter what, so give it a shot!

    BTW, what videos did you find helpful? I
    want to do another strip tease for my hubby, but want to actually find some videos and practice stuff this time. Problem is, I don’t know where to start…

  29. I found dancing around the house to some fun music while cleaning and while I get dressed in the morning helped me to loosen up. If I watch myself in the mirror I start to feel silly and just start laughing. The more comfortable I’ve gotten the more we both enjoy when I bust a move while making dinner as well as the in the bedroom set up with candles. The music needs to be something that you have fun with.

    Lady GaGa and Christina Aguilera have some really fun songs and Low by Flo Rida is a great one to move to. You’re married ladies, don’t be afraid of kinky songs

  30. Practicing in the shower is a great idea Cinnamon sticks, but it made me laugh as I could just see me falling and injuring myself, hate to explain that one to the doctor! πŸ™‚

  31. I can’t dance either, but really I don’t think too much of that is required. I think it is more the moving in a sexy way and teasing them as you undress. The hard part for me will be the eye contact in addition to dancing. I finally found a song and that really helps so I can work on my moves. You can do it! This is my first time trying this too. Our men are gonna love it they don’t care about our dancing skills!:)

  32. This is the song I ended up using and it turned out great. Hubby LOVED it and I had a lot of fun too. πŸ™‚
    Thanks for posting it!

  33. You’re welcome. Glad you guys have a fun time.

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