Weekly poll #31: What is your husband’s love language?


  1. I’ve made him take many tests and I’ve studied him myself, and we can’t come up with any conclusive answer. I ask him ‘well, what types of things make you feel loved?’ (I thought it would reveal the answer easily, because it did for me – and to me, feeling loved is so important) . His reply was that he just does feel loved, and that he thinks it’s more important for him to feel respected (and admired and needed, though I added those in myself) than to ‘feel loved’.

  2. I encourage all the wives to take the time to find out what their DH love language is and fill their “love tank”. A full “love tank” can make all the difference. My DH’s love language is physical touch and is more than just meeting his sexual needs. Sometimes it is as simple as a touch on the back, a kiss or holding his hand.

  3. Have you read or heard of the book Love & Respect by: Emerson Eggerichs? It is all about how women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected. Respect and love are very similar to most men. They would rather feel respected than loved. The book talks about ways to show your husband that you respect him, and ways he can show you that he loves you. It was a very interesting and helpful read. I feel that the knowledge this book given me has helped to defuse many potential arguments.

  4. you know, I’ve heard of it here and there, but I never have read it. I need to. Gonna go look it up on amazon right now and see if my local library has it, thanks koffeebug! 🙂

  5. Oh, I found “Love and Respect” on amazon and while looking it up, I found ‘The Respect Dare’ (like the love dare, I guess) http://www.amazon.com/Respect-Dare-Nina-Roesner/dp/144013278X/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264541596&sr=1-8

    Has anyone read/done ‘The respect Dare’?

  6. Respect is a BIG thing to husbands. I try to remember to tell my husband at least once a week how much he means to our family and how much I respect what he does as a leader in our home. I think respect probably falls with words of affirmation, what do you think?

  7. I think words of respect fall under “words of affirmation”, and that would include the tone of voice, as well as the content of my words, and would also have to line up with my actions.

    Scripture makes it clear that we women have to work on the respect part of our relationships to our husbands. If I do some acts of service for my husband–things I think are acts of service–but then imply that he would just do them wrong (organizing tax receipts, or something), then it won’t come across as loving or respectful to him. I guess my point is that respect is not JUST a “words” thing, although it is VERY MUCH a words thing.

  8. i had my husband take the test last after last week’s poll. it was hard for him though, in the test it gives you two different phrases for each question and you are supposed to click the one that is most like you. my husband kept making the comment that it was too hard because he likes both things equally. he just kept telling me ‘but i like ALL of it’!

  9. If you get him the male version on the Five Love Languages, it will help explain the differences in the different love languages. It will also explain that you can have 2 love languages that come in close togethere. Plus some of us like thing out of all the love languages. This is especially true when our primary love language is being met. He may be have trouble figuring out exactly which love language is his primary love langage if you are doing a good job at meeting his primary love language and keeping his “love tank” full. I have hear Dr. Chapman say this many times. Dr. Chapman is one of my pastors.

  10. While generalizations can be helpful, we need to be careful about making statements suggesting that a characteristic epitomizes masculinity or femininity. As a woman who doesn’t fall into the neat ideals of “womaness” (i.e., just wanting to be heard, emotional, etc.), growing up in a Christian community with stark boundaries about what men and women should be like left me with some scars. I always felt like something was wrong with me. But in reality there are more differences among women and among men than between the two genders.

    So overall, it is helpful to be aware of the generalities, but it is more important to take the time to find out how both you and your spouse are uniquely made and affirm that even if it doesn’t fit what someone says about your gender.

  11. my husband is mostly about acts of service. his mom has instilled these values in him of working hard, being dedicated to helping and supporting family, worshiping god ect. it’s like he’s proud of being a manly man and having me as a supporting wife more than anything else. we’re best friends. second in line would be physical touch which i love

  12. My husband ‘s love language is cts of service while I am physical touch. We are both working at speaking the others language. Mine is even more obvious now that I have experienced an awakening and a lot of interest in sex and experimentation with my husband. He is a prince. He is game to try whatever I come up with even though he is a bit shocked by my desire to try new things and my more unihibited attitude toward sex. I think he is really thinking “YES! Finally!” I am truly blessed to be his wife of 20 years!

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