Q&A: How to Get Your Husband to Seduce YOU

In a previous article, we discussed ideas on how you could seduce your husband and now we are going to talk about ways to invite your husband to do the same for you. This article was inspired in part by the following email.

I have always had a hard time with my self-image. That being said, my husband caters to these purges of self-hate wonderfully, and lovingly, but inside the bedroom it is another story. It is very obvious that my hubby is attracted to me, but I am always, without a doubt, the only person who initiates sex. In addition to this, it is very rare that we have what you would call “sexy sex.” Our most intimate moments feel like two fish flopping on top of each other, for lack of a better description. It feels like there is a serious emotional disconnect between us during the act, and it is something that really tears at me, besides feeling unwanted because of never being propositioned. What I’m trying to ask, I suppose, is how to get my husband to seduce me and how I can go about helping him be the passionate person inside the bedroom, as he is outside.

For most people it’s a negative feeling to know that someone has an expectation of us and are disappointed that we aren’t meeting it so first of all I want to talk about keeping this process very positive and light hearted. As far as it depends on you, approach your husband very warmly and openly. You want to remember that this is a process of inviting him to something that will be better for both of you rather than persuading him to become something he is not.

It’s a good idea to maintain a bit of perspective. Try to be gracious and remember that in most circumstances it’s really about learning to be good lovers for one another. If you can learn to be comfortable expressing your sexual self to your husband and he is a decent man, you can get to a good place where you are able to communicate what you’d like.

For some men they need and want you to be very clear about what it is you want. For other men, they want a more playful and unintentional flirtation to entice them into wanting to seduce you. We’ve already talked a lot on our blog about the clear ways that you can communicate with your husband if a very straight forward and honest conversation if necessary so let’s focus more here on the playful ways that you can inspire your husband to pursue you more.

Let’s talk first about the importance of maintaining your own sexual vibe because when you feel sexy, you are going to communicate that to your husband even if you don’t mean to. Maybe staying active in sport or working out helps you with this. Maybe it’s how you dress. Maybe it’s how you keep your hair or wearing make up. There are a lot of non-physical ways that we can promote this sensuality, too. Some women find that the wonderful reading resources that are available today which discuss sexuality in a godly way are very helpful. And don’t underestimate the value of spending time with other women who possess a positive outlook on married sexuality.

So what are some ways that we can creatively step out and stir up our husbands beyond the ideas I already mentioned. I’d love to hear from our readers about things that have worked well, but here are some fun ways you might enjoy trying.

  • If your husband is a sports fan, offer yourself as half time entertainment. Bring him a drink and a snack and undo a button on your shirt.
  • Let him know at some point during the day by phone call or text that you have been thinking of him and are looking forward to seeing him when he gets home. This will get him thinking too and hopefully he will get some good ideas on what you can do together that night.
  • Share a memory with him of when you felt particularly loved or desired by him. Let him know how those kinds of things please you.
  • Don’t be bashful about changing in front of him. Keep the lights on. Turn towards him. Don’t rush. Let him enjoy seeing your body.

The idea is just to get him to notice you and be thinking about you. This, along with honest conversation, will really help a husband and wife to become good lovers and to share in initiating sexual contact.

The other aspect of the question in the email is how to make sex more passionate and intimate on all levels. We’ll discuss this in a future article.

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  • March 2010
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