R.Y.C.O.S.

Yes I just made up that acronym.  It stands for something that’s been on my mind lately and I figured I’d share it with all of you.

I can’t remember the last time that my husband and I had sex so passionately that I saw stars.  You know, that raw animal like sex.  That  “Rip Your Clothes Off Sex!”  I remember when we were first married (many years ago), how he’d take me up against the wall after coming home from dinner out, or even on the hood of the hood of the car because we just couldn’t wait to get into the house.  Clothes would go flying off in every which direction and afterwards we’d both be panting together as we waited for the endorphins to calm down once again.

It’s been a very cold winter where we live, and the other night my husband mentioned how our sex life had become so predictable lately.  One of us will ask if the other is interested, and if it’s agreed upon then we both make a mad dash to the bedroom where we disrobe and jump under the covers, teeth chattering, trying to use our body heat to warm us up before we can even think about making love.  When my husband mentioned this to me I couldn’t help but laugh.  He’s SO RIGHT! 😆

So now I’m longing for some type of change.  Spring is just around the corner and with it will hopefully come some more playful and passionate romps!  I want to surprise my husband with some RYCOS at some point when he’s least expecting it.  I think it will be good for the soul.  We’ve just gotten into a predictable rut and I’m so ready to break out of it!  I think that part of the greatness of it before was the spontaneity of it.  So I’m not too sure how it will be trying to PLAN it, but I’m willing to try.  Anyway, if winter has put you into a rut as well, then maybe you should think about planning your own RYCOS moment with your husband too.  COME ON SPRING!

21 Comments

  1. I can totally agree with you. Lately Ive been noticing that our sessions have been predictable and only last for so long. Since I came across this site Ive shared with him what ive read and how excited I am to try some of these suggestions out with him. My aim in sharing this site with him is hopefully get him to open up a bit and realise that God made us to enjoy eachother and hopefully get out of ths rut and try something new.

  2. I brought this up to my husband, and he just laughed. I teasingly told him, “wimpy, wimpy, wimpy!” He just laughed and told me “fifty, fifty, fifty!” We giggled and laughed so hard! Just had to share and thank you for this site.

  3. that is almost word for word the conversation i had with my husband when i asked for more ‘excitement” in lovemaking…except replace 50 with 40 something…. i did laugh but i also feel sad about that…. i have come into my “sexual awakening” in my 40’s and he is leaving his behind.

  4. FINALLY got some new lingerie, and I am SO excited. In the meantime, I mentioned that my previously nicest surviving nightgown is getting pretty old… A seam or two is coming undone…

    I won’t be too surprised next time I wear it if it gets ripped off. 🙂 And I do mean ripped. Somehow the bodice-ripping sort of times are great for the moment, and also for the memories. It really does something to my husband, to be able to tear it all off. 🙂

  5. Same here, I experienced my awakening a yr. n a half ago , 26 yrs into the marriage n now I feel like it is becoming a bit predictable n I need change to more less predictable..Any ideas?.

  6. deeni,
    I can hear the sadness in your voice. Take courage! Whatever you do, don’t give up on your man! Who knows what he’s going through right now. We all have unpleasant seasons in our marriage, but a “season” does not have to last forever. Whatever you do, do not simply resign to living the rest of your life with a less-than-satisfying love life. God can help your man to have a sexual reawakening. Sometimes we read too much into the “vibes” our husbands are sending out, when we should be taking our concerns to our Creator. If there’s one thing I have learned from the “spice sisters”, it’s that God intends for us to enjoy a fulfilling sex life for the duration of our marriage. When in a similar situation to the one you described, I found that instead of “asking” for more excitement, I had to take the reins and make it happen. Although this was a new role for me, and I was afraid of how my husband would react, he loved it, and he continues to love it! You can find many ideas for pursuing your husband and spicing up your love life on this site. Just take some time to browse through the various articles listed under the categories, and you might just find something that “knocks your husband’s socks off”! Good luck, and God bless!

  7. Funny that you mention the ripping clothes off! My DH also LOVES that! I think I might just go out and get some new super–cheap stuff just for his ripping-off pleasure! 😉

  8. Hey Satisfiedwife,
    Well….. how to stay satisfied! Hmmmm.
    Grab a hold of your seat because I have had the pleasure of learning how to satisfy myself 😉

    Without being crude, I truly mean satisfaction, in every sense of the word.
    I have learnt how to embrace my sensuality in greater ways by adoring my inner crazy woman.
    I have learnt how to throw myself at my man, in passion, and go with the wonderful crazy flow of our love making.
    I have learnt how to savor a peach !!!
    I have learnt how to relish the taste of plain and ordinary foods by simply allowing my tongue to thoroughly taste what I am eating…
    I have learnt how to watch trees sway and feel cool breezes in a new way.
    Oh, my Tresor perfume, the fragrance is enough to make me swoon!
    The glorious music I used to thrill to now makes me enter a blissful state of extreme happiness.

    It is like a soul awakening rather than a simple sexual awakening. A sexual awakening without a soul awakening is a sad event and God wishes for us ladies to unfold before Him in fullness.

    Seeing, feeling, tasting, hearing, smelling, sixth sensing : all the magnificence that we take for granted every day. It’s a glorious key to opening up my soul to absorbing MORE of my life.

    I am a satisfied woman and therefore have learnt how to take awful pressure off my darlingly, willing husband.

    Go get some satisfaction, lady…all for yourself and spread that joy onto your man. He may be a happy and amazed husband.

  9. I am so in love with my hubby, and I have loved discovering this site to help me learn how to better meet his needs. My new awakening is terrifying to him. I am been his shy intimidated wife when it comes to sexual pleasure. Part of what is terrifying to him is how much I have discouraged him over the years because I wasn’t comfortable with his desires. I love getting to please him and watch his wonder, but in 10 years of marriage there has never been a RYCOS experience. Even when I was inhibited, this was a secret desire of mine. Any suggestions? Even when he undresses me, he still wants to undress himself and I don’t get the opportunity for that pleasure.

  10. Ask. Just start. On a lazy Sunday afternoon (if you husband is one who still wears one) start teasing his tie off. Tell him what else you want to take off. Play with his belt buckle. My husband is terribly ticklish, so I have to watch how I do either one of these two things. A light touch is NOT what he wants at the just getting warmed up stage of “I want you NOW PLEASE”.

    Maybe your husband does not know you want to tear his clothes off. It might excite him. You can tell him by doing, or you can tell him by talking. Hope you are able to have the right opportunity to, soon!

  11. I NEVER comment on forums. I can’t believe I’m commenting for the first time on a website about marriage sex, of all things! LOL! No, it’s great! My hubs told me about this site because he thinks I’m a nympho. So here I go with my 2 cents.

    We’ve gone through our sexual ups and downs like all couples, but our sex life has generally been very satisfying. We have what we jokingly call “The Formula”, a pattern of sexual acts that we typically follow because it works for both of us. But a few things in the last couple years have taken it to a new level. A year and a half ago, we bought the Esse (my idea, hee hee!). It’s an “S” shaped sex chair by Liberator. It’s the best piece of furniture in the house! Of course when people come over and get a tour of the house and ask what it is, we say, “Oh, it’s just a chair.” Thankfully they accept that answer and don’t ask any follow-up questions. 🙂 But seriously, it makes various positions so much easier and better. We’ve never told anyone we have it or what it’s for, so of course I’m sharing this information with a bunch of strangers. LOL! We joke about it like, “Can you imagine what my mother would say if she knew what this was?! She’d probably go see Jesus right now!” and “I don’t think this is something we can put on the will.” Hahaha! Anyway, we don’t know how we lived so long without one. It’s not cheap but it’s worth the investment because our marriage is worth the investment. The Liberator has other products as well. If you look at the website, just know that there are pictures of naked couples modeling the products, so you know… You’ve been warned. I wouldn’t let my husband look at the site, only pictures of the products that didn’t have people demonstrating them.

    Secondly, we’ve been trying new positions. I have yet to orgasm in the other positions (again, The Formula) but I’ve been close. We’re experimenting and figuring out how to get our timing right. But it’s still very enjoyable!

    Next, we occasionally use the Yours+Mine KY Jelly, which is kind of like an icy hot sensation (but not too hot). Sometimes I find it to be distracting but sometimes it’s nice. There’s a new strawberry chocolate one that I’m interested in trying.

    Lastly, we’ve recently been sending each other X-rated text messages on our phones. It all started because he and the kids were out of state visiting relatives for 2 weeks. I had to stay home because I didn’t have the time off work. As a joke, I sent one to him just to tease him, but it turned into a regular thing. It’s been surprisingly freeing (hence my username) and it’s drawn us closer to each other. It’s very exciting and has helped me get mentally prepared for the next time we’re together. All we do is put in words the things we do in the bedroom, but with graphic language. I was concerned that we’d gone too far because my prudish background chafed at the language, but we talked about it and agreed that since it was just between the two of us and we both enjoy it, it’s okay. We are mindful to keep our phones with us so that no one picks it up and sees the incoming texts. It’s fun to get one at work! 🙂

    So there it is, for what it’s worth…

  12. I’ve been married 23+ years and our sex has never been like that.

  13. that is so cool Freedom !!!! we do/did that too !!! it builds anticipation and excitement !! True, I did feel a little “silly” doing it at first; but i got the idea from a marriage book i was reading. But afterwards, hubby told me it was a real turn on !!!

  14. My husband doesn’t know how to text – he barely uses his cell phone! I just told him this morning that I was going to teach him how to text, so we could “sext” each other! I’m not sure that he believed me, because sending sexy text messages is not in line with my normal personality. But, hey, I’m trying to grow and learn!

  15. Just now reading this post… and I am a nympho and my husband of 6 years is just now figuring this out. I tell him all the time, aren’t you glad I’m not one of those wives who view sex as a chore…

    That being said, Sex can easily get, .. predictable, always good, but like Freedom said, we have our routine that works for us and normally we can orgasm within 2 minutes on any given day. That being said, I Craved the RYCOS!!! With the new year ringing in, I decided to strive to be a better wife and mother as my resolution rather than the normal “diet”.. During this time.. my husband and I have grown so close! I’ve just been loving on him daily emotionally, mentally, physically… anyway it has had an awesome affect on our sex !!! It’s been great! We’ve been craving each other like teenagers! i love it!!

  16. We live in a cold climate also, but we keep a space heater in our bedroom to turn on while we are getting ready. We got the kind that shuts off if it tips over. It heats up the room so you don’t need covers, except each other!!! So rip off your clothes, or lingerie or whatever.

  17. I’m 48 years old and have had only a handful of Os. You make it sound so simple. I’m married to a fantastic lover, I just don’t, not for lack of his research or trying. What basic something am I missing?

  18. oh Lord help. I’ve never posted and I don’t believe that just really happened

  19. “Fifty”? Maybe you meant “hefty”? Anyway, that was fun to read. I laughed so hard. Still am 😉 .

  20. so glad that you found this site, linda! go up to the white underlined categories section (top right hand side of the page, next to the calender) and click on orgasms, difficulties and struggles, or the creative techniques categories and it will pull up all kinds of different articles that you can read through. you will find all kinds of very useful information the more you dig into the site!

  21. I’ve been craving some rip your clothes off sex and have hinted at my husband, but it is just not his style. He is so gentle and patient. Anyway, today when he gets home, the kids are going to be gone, so I think I am just going to go for it, as soon as he walks in the door


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