Q&A: Husband Deployed

“Im a US Marine, currently deployed to Iraq and my question is what can I do for my wife to keep intimacy alive in the relationship. She sends me pictures and videos and things of that nature, but im curious as if you might have any ideas to what I can do for her.”

Being away from your spouse for an extended period of time can be difficult.  I applaud your wife for sending you pics and videos!  I know you are limited in what you can do for her, but a couple of things did cross my mind as I sat and thought about this email.  Let me give a few suggestions, and then if our readers have any more ideas I’m sure they’ll leave them in the comment section.

Write her a love letter. Not the normal “this is what is going on here and I hope things are going well for you there” type of letter.  A REAL LOVE LETTER.  The kind of letter that teenagers write to each other in high school instead of doing their algebra.  Pour out your heart in the letter and tell her exactly how much she means to you.  Be descriptive about your feelings and go into detail about why you feel that way.  Tell her how beautiful she is and describe some of the things that you most admire about her.  Tell her how you can’t wait to be with her again, and, if you know that she’d like to hear it, then tell her exactly what you want to do to/with her once you are back home in her arms.  Women love to read mushy emotional letters that are written from the heart.  You can’t go wrong here.

Write her some poetry. Again, this is something that can touch a woman’s soul.  Knowing that you spent hours, if not days, trying to come up with just the right words for your poem will mean the world to her.

Videotape yourself singing her a song. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t the world’s best singer.  Think back to the song played at your wedding, or your favorite song while you were dating.  Just think of some song that you know will touch her and bring back special memories for her.  Cut on your video camera (borrow one from a friend if you need to) or use your webcam to video yourself singing it to her.  If you play guitar (or other instrument) and have one there, then that’s even better!  You may even be able to recruit your buddies to be back up singers for you!  Another suggestion is to write her an original song and sing that to her.  Believe me when I say that she will be listening to the words and watching your body language and taking a trip down memory lane (and possibly shedding some tears) and will not even notice that you are off tune! 🙂

Make an erotic video for her. Of course I had to throw this one in!  This is only if you have the privacy to do so.  If your wife is a visual woman, then she may appreciate you putting on a show for her… rub yourself on camera and talk to her while you are doing it.  Tell her how you wish she were there and what you’d love to do with her if she were.  Describe how you would make love to her and use language that you know she likes to hear.  Just remember to be very careful and not leave video files such as this on a shared computer.

These are the things off the top of my head.  Hopefully you’ll get some other ideas and suggestions from the women who read and contribute on our site.  Thank you for your service to our country and God bless you and your wife!

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