For us, it’s hard getting a sitter for our kids. Both sets of grandparents live out of town, although we do use them from time to time. We don’t have other extended family members nearby and we just don’t feel right leaving them with the neighbors. While we do ship the kids off to grandma’s house to spend the night every couple of months, we sometimes feel like we need some quality time together in between those times. We have found something that works perfectly for us… DAYTIME DATES!
Both of our children are in school now. That makes daytime dates possible for us. We pick a day that we want to spend together and my husband takes a vacation day for that date. Then we don’t tell the kids! We wake up acting all normal on the morning of said date, and put the kids on the bus for school as if nothing is up. Then, as soon as they are gone we have the entire day together…until the bus brings them back home that afternoon. We know that we have from 7:45am until 3:15pm to fit in whatever we can!
Morning sex is always a possibility, and we don’t have to be quiet. Then we can leisurely get dressed and go out to breakfast together or go to a coffee shop. From there we usually set our sights on shopping for something that we need, like clothes for the kids or something for the house, or even just a grocery store trip together without the kids! Sometimes we just window-shop and stroll hand in hand in a nearby mall checking out what’s going on. On a couple of these dates we have been known to get intimate in the dressing rooms! 😆
There are so many possibilities though. You can go to a park and swing together (like we did when we were dating), you can go bowling, you can play tennis or go to the batting cages, or you can go see a matinee! You could grocery shop and come home and cook lunch together or you could find a nice restaurant for lunch. You could take a walk or rake the leaves together, all the while having fun with each other. The important thing here is just being together and having your focus be on each other.
We have been having one or two daytime dates per month, and it’s really been so good for our relationship. I so enjoy the time that I get to spend with my husband, and it helps me to relieve stress and be in a better mood when my kids get off that bus in the afternoon. So everyone wins!
I know that for some of you this idea may be impossible right now. We weren’t able to do it when our kids were little. We had to wait until they were both in school, and me being a stay-at-home-mom helps too. But think about it and see if there is any way that you could make it work for your situation at all. Even a HALF a day may work for you and your spouse. Just remember that there is no rule that says your “dates” with your husband have all got to be at night!
If you are able to work out having a daytime date with your husband, leave us a comment and let us know how it went!
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Christian Nymphos 
My husband and I love day dates! He usually comes home for an early lunch and then fun begins! Like yesterday we took a quick bike ride to eat came back and could be loud with afternoon delight!!! The good thing is he usually only takes a long lunch so he doesn’t miss the whole day! But I agree with cumingirl it makes for a much more enjoyable afternoon when the kids get home!!!!!!
So, this is a downside of homeschooling. My husband and I won’t be able to try this out for another 13 years (my youngest is 4)! lol
Me and my other half meet up every week for a lunch date, I really look foward to it 🙂
Thanks to the economy, my husband now has a few unpaid days off throughout the month. Fortunately, we are accustomed to not having much money anyways and always make it a point to put the time to good use in the mornings. We may not be able to afford an actual “date” afterwards, but the freedom of the empty house while the kids are at school is all the date we need (if you know what I mean!).
HOW LONG till one of your older kids can be a school monitor? Even for a few hours. And once your kids are 12 or so, they can even be in safe public areas on their own–“OK kids, study morning in the Public Library” (Our library has a minimum age limit to be there alone–my oldest is only nearly four, though.)
I only know the school monitor/baby-sitting experience as an older sibling. My parents did not over-use me, but I did get pressed into service!
how does a woman cope with a husband that has been away abroad for close to 2years without sinning against God or her own body
There are a lot of layers to your question. I think for now you should read around our site. Use the search box and category listings to find conversations around our blog about this issue.
We used to have lunchtime sex all the time and can’t anymore cuz lil guy is almost never napping.
On the subject of dates…. No one that offers to take the kids, for pay or as a favor seems to understand that what my man and I REALLY need (and want) is not time in a restaurant (we’ve never been big date people), but rather some alone time in our own home. or rather, our own bedroom, with our own lovely bed all to ourselves. We love our baby, but sometimes we get tired of sharing space and airwaves with him all the time 😀
Is there a tactful way to ask would-be babysitters to watch our boy in their house instead of ours so we don’t have to go *out* on a date?
You could try presenting it like “Would it be easier if we brought him to your house?” We do that with our parents. Sometimes they say yes. Sometimes they say no. That’s one option. Then they don’t need to know if you are going out or staying in.
We have had quite a bit of that this year with my husbands job, too! We work with nap schedules, and allow our oldest some time playing a computer game (a BIG treat to her).
I would just explain to a potential sitter that you are planning a romantic candle lit dinner and that your little one needs a place to be. Nobody said you couldn’t be the main course and the dessert ;o) And or ask some of the married women in your church or Bible study to watch him… trust me they understand!
This is a great idea! Will have to remember this when our kids get older.