Weekly poll #45: Were you a virgin when you married your husband?


  1. Ok wow how awesome for those who waited!!! I was suprised it was so high with all the statistics! I unfortunately was not in the waited crowd!! I hope I can teach my kids to be in that category! Thks again for this web site!

  2. After 31 years of marriage, the decision for both my husband and I to wait to have sex until married is still a decision that we cherish so much, that we sometimes find ourselves with tears of joy in our eyes…That discipline and commitment to our marriage also gives us the confidence/assurance that we will both be faithful, even when we are apart from each other.

    No doubt, it’s worth the wait!!!

  3. I was not but its a mistake I have regreted very much. I talk to my son and hope that he might make thr right desicion and I pray to God that He will Keep my child strong.

  4. We weren’t either – we were really young. No excuse; and yes, I regret it. If I had a way to do it over again….. It really bothered me when my kids were growing up. And the guilt of it did impact our married sex life.

  5. I was a virgin when I met my husband :). Because of some problems we had to wait 7 years to get married… and well it was difficult to wait. I regret that we didn’t wait, but I am happy that we were still each others’ first

  6. I wasn’t. I didn’t get saved until I was 18 and sadly I didn’t see what the big deal was. I only wanted to party and have fun!

    My husband wasn’t either, though his was a one time drunken night in his college days unlike my several years worth!

    If I could change our past I would, but since I can’t we leave the past in the past and work on the now and the future! 🙂

  7. I was surprised too that the numbers were so high for those who waited! That’s awesome. I had to choose “no.”

  8. i wasnt a virgin but it was my husband that i gave that to,we just didnt know wed be together still. we started dating in aug 1979 ,i had our first daughter in sept 1982 and after i graduated in june 1983 ,we married in july 1983 and have been going strong ever since.

  9. I was not a virgin do to childhood abuse and poor choices. My DH was a virgin when we meet, but not when we married three years later. I have regrets about my past, but not my relationship with my DH. We are hoping to teach our kids to wait until they are married. I was never encouraged by my parents to wait until I was married.

  10. I am proud to say that I waited. Even though at times it was very hard when we realized we were the ones God intended for us to be together. I was not my husband’s first, and that was a difficult thing for me to work through. HE regrets very much that he didn’t wait. We hope to teach our daughter the true plan that God has for her in waiting for Mr. Right. One of the things I believe we, as parents, need to do better is teaching children what is appropriate and inappropriate touch. I was so naive that I didn’t realize how some my body language affected my husband while we were dating. Note: I was a very modest dresser.

  11. my DH and i waited after four years of dating with strict rules that kept us in check. our wedding night remains that special moment we treasure. Honestly it was not easy at all but we were grateful we did. we shall encourage our children to wait.

  12. We waited, at least according to how I understand marriage. I recognize this wouldn’t fly with some Christians!

    But after feeling increasingly married during our engagement (despite its being only six months after three months of dating and three more of friendship), we finally made our own promises to each other and consummated our marriage a month before we had the official ceremony. It ended up making the last weeks before our wedding a lot less stressful and there was less pressure (I was worried about whether or not I’d come–because I did the first time, I was a lot less upset about the many times that first month or two that I didn’t!) the night after our public wedding, and I really appreciated that.

    We are still in our first year of marriage, so I suppose time will tell if I will later look back at our youthful foolishness, but as of yet, I have no regrets about how we did things. Our entire relationship was very well-paced in terms of the physical intimacy moving in sync with the emotional intimacy and the level of commitment. In my mind, those things flowing together is how it’s supposed to work–we just eased in to marriage a bit more fuzzily that many others who prefer to think of themselves as going from not married to totally married overnight. We just happen to have different dates for our considering ourselves married vs. the public ceremony vs. the state. As long as they’re close together, I don’t have a problem with that.

  13. I was a virgin,my hubby was not. we dated for 3n half years before we married…however we did engage in pre-marital heavy petting before we became christians a year before we married…Teaching our children true love waits…

  14. My husband and I were both married previously. Even though we were not virgins, the love making was phenomenal due to the fact that God had put us together. We regret that we were not each others firsts, but we still have a strong and committed marriage.

  15. I was a virgin when I married my husband. He was not. When he told me that he had sex with his college girlfriend I died inside. I had been praying and waiting for that gift from a very young age. We married and have many fights and strains on our marriage because of this issue. There has been much growth on both of our parts and we are learning to move forward, small steps but non the less moving forward together.

  16. My husband and I were both virgins when we got married, although we did get up to a bit too much “private stuff” before our wedding, which I regret… We’ve been married nearly 17 years now, and we have a great marriage, although we’ve had our share of sexual intimacy issues along the way. (much improved lately, due to God at work in my heart, and also a big thanks to Christian Nymphos!!)

    We have 3 teenage daughters, with our oldest soon to turn 16. We’ve had an ongoing dialogue with our girls for lots of years now about saving themselves for their godly man. I also heard a story (on Christine Caine’s podcast – I think it was the one called “Finding God’s Way”) of a Christian girl whose father gave her a heart shaped locket which had a key, promising to give the key to her husband on her wedding day- giving her a tangible goal to save her virginity for her husband. I loved that idea, and am now planning to do this for each daughter as they turn 16. They are not dating yet, and I think it will be just at the right time before they embark on that new aspect of life.

  17. I was abused as a child and teenager so no I wasnt but I got to receive that gift from my husband on our wedding night, We waited till the day before we got married to even have any physical contact (hugging, kissing even holding hands)

  18. my husband and I were both virgins when we got married. We didn’t kiss each other on the mouth until we got engaged. We didn’t “french kiss” until we were married. It was little simple boundaries we made, but it helped in staying pure. I believe those communication skills we learned before marriage have helped us afterwards. I was my husband’s first girlfriend and I cherish this fact. We were together for 2 and a half years before getting married, most of this long-distance.
    We’ve been married for 590 days and we ml mostly everyday. When we do “scenarios” we still do the “wow, your a virgin? Me too!” one a lot. I think deep inside we know how special it is and its fun to recreate it. 🙂

  19. No, but I was raped.

  20. Unfortunately, no. I was date raped at the age of 20. I met my husband less than 6 months later. 😦

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