Q&A: What will he think?

We had an email come in from a reader who is engaged to be married, and she asked…

I’m getting married this November and besides the obvious nervousness regarding having sex for the first time (the “ouch factor”), I am incredibly nervous about him seeing me “down there.”  I was “blessed” with a lot of hair down there… and everywhere.  I’ve talked to my fiance briefly about this subject and have told him about my nervousness.  He reassured me that he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful no matter what, but I can’t stop freaking out about it.  I  was wondering if you had any tips on calming down about it or something that will help with the issue…?

This is a legitimate concern, especially for someone who is saving herself for her spouse.   Each of us has gone through puberty and watched our bodies grow and change.  We watched as our body grew hair in areas we didn’t know that we would.  It’s been our own private areas for so long.   Now as you approach your wedding, the thought crosses your mind…”What will he think?”

Not only about your pubic hair, but what will he think about me naked?  What will he think about my performance when we first make love?  Dear ones, if you have chosen to be equally yoked to a loving Christian man, he will love you like Christ loves the Church…just as you are.

If you are really worried about what he will think, this is a perfect time to start working on your communication skills with him.   Tell him your fears of what he will think about you when he sees you for the first time.  Ask him about his expectations of your first time together.  Ask him if he has any concerns or reservations on what YOU will think of him.   Take the time to lovingly answer each others questions and concerns.  This is the time to start setting up the foundation for your entire marriage, and talking through what you are thinking and what you could do to make your first time together a wonderful and relaxed experience for you.  Ask him how he would feel if he saw you as you are.   Ask him how he would feel if he saw you bare in that area.   Then talk about what you are comfortable about doing and come up with a compromise.

Now, if you think you are overly endowed with hair, there are many different things that you can do.  A Brazillian wax is an option.   Many women shave them self and have a routine of how often until they shave again.   I know women who shave their pubic area daily.  These depend on how you and your future husband feel about having a bare pubic area.  Some like it.  Some don’t.  Myself, I started with just trimming the hair in that area shorter.   You can trim with scissors or hair clippers once every few weeks.  Nice thing about trimming is it grows back if you aren’t comfortable with how short you trimmed the first time, so you can have time to practice getting it right.   I shave myself and then l trim a small triangle area.   I shave the hair on my inner thighs weekly.  I keep it trimmed to help avoid sweating and yeast infections.  My hubby….he wishes I would keep it shaved bare, but I am not comfortable with that, so I keep it trimmed short in compromise.  The thing I like about trimming is I also avoid the itch factor…now my friends out there who shave will offer advice I know on how to avoid the itchiness of hair growing back, but that is something to consider.

We have a few other articles on shaving that were already written.  You can find them here and here and here.

It is my hopes that by opening this topic to our readers that our readers may also share some of their experiences.   Unfortunately, I hadn’t saved myself for my husband, so he got a sneak peak before we were married, but I am sure there are other ladies out there that have been in this reader’s shoes and could offer some advice.

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  • June 2010
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