Weekly poll #56: What do you and your DH disagree about the most?

You may choose multiple selections in this poll.


  1. Wow, that’s a tough one. Dh and I don’t have a lot of conflict. In the past I’d have chosen sex, but that has evened out as we’ve been married longer. I guess most of our disagreements are over time – he’s SO busy and I’d like more time with him.

  2. We disagree about the best way to deal with conflict in general. If we have a disagreement, the bigger issue for me is how we handle it than what the given topic is.

  3. My very real inablilty to keep the house clean. He’s not being unreasonable about it at all. I am a crappy housekeeper. In fact we had an argument about this again two nights ago. I’m still stinging from it a bit.

  4. I chose other because my hubby and I really don’t disagree very often. When we do it is so short lived that I don’t even remember what it was about. We may disagree about how to spend money, but it’s usually on what to do first with it versus “I want this, he wants that” kind of a thing.

  5. I can totally relate. It’s probably not what we disagree about the most, but it does come up in my house too. With us it’s necessary for our house to be clean because my husband has clients over pretty often, so it makes those “discussions” that much harder. I’ve actually started praying pretty hard about it, and what I’ve realized is that feeling bad about it and vowing to be better doesn’t work. You have to completely change the way you do things. Anyway, hope you feel better about it soon. I’ll pray for you as well 🙂

  6. Thank you. Your post almost brought me to tears. I do realize now that I have to stop trying to change all at one. I changed our eating habits quite drastically over the course of 2-3 years. I need to take the same approach to cleaning. I covet your prayers.

  7. Religion

  8. We tend not to disagree, mainly because I am fairly submissive towards him. (I prefer to be that way, in case anyone wonders why.)

  9. I would say most of our disagreements relate to how to do something. He is an engineer and just thinks he knows the best way to do everything. Granted, he’s usually right (his methods are usually efficient and result in good outcomes), but sometimes I just like doing things my own way and not thinking about/analyzing it too much beforehand. I did survive for 25 years without someone telling me how to do things, after all. 😉

  10. There is a great website, http://www.flylady.com, that does a wonderful job of helping get out of the rut of poor housekeeping and learning about working toward de-cluttering, and scheduling cleaning tasks in a way that makes them very do-able, They provide great support for those that struggle with being “messies” and need some encouragement to get moving in the right direction.

  11. I would second E comments. As we’ve become empty nesters, the challenge is over time. He is an “acts of service” type guy and can over commit himself.

  12. Religion for us too.

  13. Oh my goodness–us too! Just personalities in general. We argue how we individually relate to things and how that irritates one another. It isn’t really ever about the disagreement. But, opposites attract, I suppose.

  14. Going to church – I have a lot of roles in our small, rural church and DH has completely backed away. There’s an issue here I can’t figure out. He started pulling away when my dad died and totally quit (except for grandbabies’ baptisms) after my mom died. He was really close to my parents as both of his died while he was in his early 20s. So I keep my mouth shut (most of the time), pray and invite him to come with me occasionally.

  15. flylady.net

  16. Thank you for all of your suggestions but I simply can not use FlyLady. I have tried and she just irritates me. I do not and will not wear shoes every day and the way she names things makes me want to puke. (Sorry but she’s too cutesy for me) I have gotten some ideas from her that I can use but her system is just not for me.

  17. Me too Maureen. 🙂 I don’t want a peppy cheerleader (which is how her emails come off to me), I just want to be self disciplined. But I know her system works for other people so if it does, go for it.

  18. I just read HouseWorks from the author of this website: http://organizedhome.com/

    I, too, am a queen of clutter and procrastination, but don’t enjoy the fly-lady cheeriness.

    One thing I got from the HouseWorks book is to de-clutter in chunks of time. Say, 15 minutes of de-cluttering, (with a garbage bag, a box for passing things on, and a box for putting things away that belong somewhere else), then you PUT AWAY the stuff in your put-away box before you can go any further. That keeps the put-away box from becoming a monster in its own right.

  19. I’ve had thsi problem too. What I’ve found to work the best is to tackle one room at a time. I started with our girls’ bedroom. I got it clean and we straighten, put away clothes and make their beds every morning (they help). After a week or two of being routine in this and keeping it clean, I moved on to another room. Once I was able to keep those two rooms clean, I added another. Take small steps. My home isn’t perfect (far from it), but it is so much better than it was just a few months ago. If I were in your position, I would ask hubby which room was the most importan to have clean/keep clean and start with that.

    I will also say that I used to get to angry that the hosue didn’t look exactly the way I wanted it and that my hubby didn’t help as much as I thougt he should. BUT he works full time and I stay home with the kids, so it is easier for me to do things on a day to day basis. I’ve prayed about it and God has helped me to change my attitude about housecleaning. It is now a joy for me to be able to clean the house because I know that when my husband comes home he will be entering a peaceful, relaxing atmosphere which is very welcoming after he spends all day at his “high stress” job.

  20. Cleaning up! No arguments about sex yet (newlyweds), but cleaning up glass bottles and dishes is what we nag each other about most.

  21. my other is household chores…I love for our house to be cleaned and picked up and definitely ready for company. However, I do not think cleaning should take place of living…playing outside or going to an unplanned see where it takes us and what we discover ride with the family, etc.

  22. I said other. We rarely disagree. The latest disagreement though was food. I want him to eat healthier and he just likes to deal with IBS and gas thanks in part to poor eating.

  23. We don’t generally disagree… but when we do, it’s generally about driving routes/directions. Both of us have a good sense of direction, and it’s taken me some getting used to to let him navigate.

  24. We pray through most everything so we very seldom disagree for long on anything. The subject that comes up the most is the next step in where we are heading as a couple with our lives. What is the next step that is going to bring the most glory for God in our relationship? This one always takes some time and working through while praying through.

  25. Priorities – whether that be how time is spent, how money is spent, commitments made that do not take into account the other person’s prior commitments. . .

  26. I chose his parents. One bit of advice. Don’t live with your inlaws. If you don’t have a choice, make sure you have boundaries set and time limits in place. My MIL has lived with us since the mid 90’s and that’s too long. Living with your inlaws can be worse than having kids (and we have both). With my DH”s new job, I will be moving to where he is, and MIL (by her own choice) will be moving in with her other son. When a man has his wife and mother under the same roof, at some point he will have to choose whom he supports. This shouldn’t happen.

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