Q&A: Painful Orgasm?

“Hi, I am asking a question on behalf of me and my wife because I cannot find anything to answer this question on the net or a search of your wonderful site. We are happily married, and have a fun and imaginative sex life. We are in our 50s , love Jesus, and have been married for 30 years. A lot of the time, she gets almost to orgasm and then her body just seems to go into spasms. She gets so sensitive and painful I can’t even touch her body. Of course that stops the sex straight away. It is like a part orgasm but without the pleasure. I really want to help her get past that and bless her physically. God has given us a lovely sex life but we know he wants it to be even better. We are puzzled and don’t know how to overcome this. Has anyone reading this experienced this too and understands what is going on? If so, how do we get beyond it? Wise advice really welcome!”

We sent this question to Lauren Jordan, LCSW, CST. Here is what she had to say about this situation:


I would have more questions for them than answers at this point.

I would want to know if there have been any changes for her – medications, surgical procedures, ie hysterectomy or even biopsy, menopause – as these could affect her orgasmic response.  Some women have quite obvious full-body “spasms” when they reach orgasm – but don’t report having pain with it.  Would it be pleasurable for her if he stopped all stimulation when she begins to “spasm”?

Because it sounds like they have had a different, and very satisfying sexual life until this began, I would suggest a full physical for her – with a urogynecologist who offers pelvic floor physical therapy in their office – such as the Dallas Center for Women’s Sexual Wellness.  She could have some pelvic floor dysfunction that is causing the change.

Lauren Jordan, LCSW, CST

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