Weekly poll #70: Who has the higher sex drive?


  1. It has flip flopped as we’ve entered our 50s. His was higher when we were younger. I missed a lot of opportunities when we were raising our children. We can’t go back but are working on enjoying this time in our life.

  2. Until I hit 39 or 40, dh had the higher drive. Now, I have the higher drive unless it’s pms time.

  3. I feel like I missed a lot of golden opportunities as well earlier in our marriage. But like you we are thoroughly enjoying ourselves thesedays.

    I didn’t get the clutter/turn off connection for my H so I had the higher drive for a long time. Now that I do we are on the same page.

  4. We have the same drive, but sometimes I can’t keep my hands off of him and I wear him out. We laugh because I was never interested for many years of our marriage, and now I am going wild. He likes it.

  5. My drive is deeply linked to my “love cup” … if i am filled up then its very, very high. if i’m not … than its very, very low.

    i know hubby loves me, but unless it is demonstrated and i feel loved, it affects my drive.

  6. We are even in our desire but he is often too tired. There are some nights he falls asleep watching TV and the kids are not even in bed yet.

  7. I feel this way, too. I have so many regrets in that area. What I’d give to go back and say, “yes” more often. Now dh occasionaly has ED issues, and I feel like it’s a punishment for my not having sex as often as I could have. While my brain tells me that’s foolish thinking, my heart hasn’t gotten that far yet.

    I miss the days of him desperately wanting me, unable to keep his hands off me. Now, he’s usually happy to have sex if I want to, but it’s different, and that makes me sad.

  8. my hubby definatly has the higher drive, but it’s not for lack of trying, i am just rarely in the mood. my hubby is sweet and caring and never nags , but im frustrated that i never really have the desire. we have sex and i do enjoy it. but i do it because he is so sweet and caring and i love him but i really feel that 99% of the time i could live without it. we have tried everything to boost my libido but to no avail. any suggestions we’ve tried alot and it’s nice but im just a dud

  9. Yes!! I fully agree – this is a great way to summarize it. Getting in the mood for me is a constant state, not something that can happen in just a moment.

  10. Hubby has always had a higher sex drive than me. And now that I’m pregnant, I’m paranoid about having full intercourse. I try to keep him satisfied in other ways, but my energy level is really low right now. Maybe later in the pregnancy things will change. I know he’s hoping it does.

  11. you sound like your hormones are low,have them checked,mine was very low,even my testosterone was low,which will boost your libido IT WORKS!!!!

  12. Are you on the pill or any other medication that can affect libido? When I went off the pill I was amazed at how much my interest level increased.

  13. Ok. Maybe someone can help me. I had said earlier that we had the same sex drive. But now I feel like it is me who has the higher drive. Is it true that when men get enough then it takes them a few days? I am feeling really bad about myself. I am not skinny. I am overweight and feel like maybe if I was skinnier he would have more stamina. I am feeling really bad about now. Oh, he is 39, so I don’t know if that helps. Maybe the drive dips down for men, but mine has increased since I have turned 40.

  14. Candy, is there a reason you are concerned about having intercourse while pregnant? Is yours a high risk pregnancy? Maybe you could ask your doctor about it and he could reassure you. In most pregnancies, it’s not necessary to avoid intercourse.

  15. Suzanne, I can just encourage you with what my experience has been. We are both 45 and have been together since we were 17. He always had the higher drive until I went through my awakening. For the first few months after that, we were about even. But now he has pulled back and wants it less than I. I think it does take some time for men to “recharge” and we found that if we waited just a bit, it was more exciting. In regard to your weight, don’t let it affect your confidence. Certainly men are visual, so do your makeup and your hair…wear things that make you feel sexy. I truly believe that men become most interested when a woman is interested in only them. If you serve him and love him like our God has commanded, he will only have eyes for you.

  16. I do not think that you or any other woman needs to be thin to be attractive to her husband. As Gillian said, there are lots of things that we can do to help ourselves feel attractive and sexy. But, I do want to encourage you and any women who don’t feel confident in their bodies to get regular exercise. The difference exercise can make in your life is phenomenal. It gives you energy and a sense of control, helps you firm up, helps moderate appetite, so many things. You don’t have to go to a gym – walking is great exercise. A pedometer (step counter) can be a great tool to help you get enough exercise. Most women walk about 5,000 steps a day, but for good health you need 10,000. For weight maintenance I try to get 12,000 a day. I do a combination of planned walking (30 minutes on a treadmill or a 30-minute walk with my husband) plus just adding more steps to my daily routine to reach that total. It really helps keep my weight in check and gives me a lot of body confidence. If you aren’t doing any exercise, start with a little bit and see how it goes. I am busy with marriage/kids/home/work like most other women, but I really try to make this a priority every day, My house is not as neat as it might be, but I feel pretty good about my body and my husband really appreciates my efforts.

  17. I always had a low sex drive while I was pregnant, too. And I was also a little nervous about sex unless DH was “careful” until I was assured by my midwife that it was completely safe since I had a normal pregnancy. But anyway, I can relate!

  18. Thanks ladies. I really appreciate your advice. I do really need to exercise. I need to make sure that I fit it in somehow. I know that it will make me feel better about myself.

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