So for a while now I’ve noticed something about my own body but haven’t said anything. I’ve waited just to see if my husband would notice on his own. A couple of months ago he did finally say something about it, and I’ve been meaning to write it out on here ever since.
We are definitely an oral sex couple. Almost every time we make love we give each other oral. It’s just a big part of our foreplay. Sometimes I let him finish me orally before we make love, and sometimes I stop him before I finish and just ask him to penetrate me so that I can finish with him inside. It all just depends on my mood J
What I have found interesting is that on the occasions where I let him finish me orally, I become extremely tight after that orgasm. So much so that he has to really take his time entering me so that it doesn’t hurt. But, on the other hand, if I stop him before I orgasm and ask him to just penetrate me… then I’m my normal self and not overly tight.
I’ve noticed this for a long time but just kept it as a mental note in my mind. Then a couple of months ago my husband mentioned it, so I knew that he had noticed it as well. He had just finished me orally and was about to penetrate when he looked at me and said: “You are always so tight after you finish orally!” I looked at him with wide eyes and said: “I KNOW!” 😆
Is this something that’s true of all women? I find it kind of odd because when I orgasm I also self lube even more, which means that I would think it would be easier for penetration. But even after the orgasmic contractions are over and I have a few minutes to collect myself, we still have to take our time when he enters me for the first time.
So now I’m curious. Are most women experiencing the same thing that I am, or is this just the way my body reacts to orgasm? Ladies, what is your experience with reaching orgasm first and then moving to penetration?
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Christian Nymphos 
Wow, how intense and a blessing that your husband desires to give you pleasure. In the beginning we both gave each other oral. Yet after about five years he stopped, but I continued. Our time together also decrease to maybe once every couple months (he said that sex wasn’t that important to him) and inbetween I would self pleasure. Thinking about those times, I can say that I did notice I was tighter. Thanks for sharing.
I wish I knew. He does oral on my so rarely I would not have a way to know. It is an interesting subject though.
I think it’s all the engorgement! I love to make love after a little break after oral, it’s wonderful. Ideally I would like to have sex a few hours after, so it’s necessary that my hubby doesn’t orgasm the first session, of course!
I’ve noticed the exact same thing, not specifically with oral tho, any kind of stimulation which leads to orgasm makes me tighten up when I try PIV.
same here 🙂
I’ve had the opposite experience. He will usually give me 2-3 good orgasms before we move to PIV. He has mentioned that my muscles seem to have relaxed after those O’s, and I have to make a conscious effort to tighten them. He found it particularly challenging late in my pregnancy w/ my last child, and for the 1st year and a half or so after her birth. This was my 6th child, and I’m in my mid- 40’s, so I’m sure everything was that much looser. He says it was difficult to feel me. 😦
I believe it is at least somewhat better now. I’m not completely sure. It may be that I have gotten so used to tightening up that I’m doing it without thinking about it much. My youngest is almost 3 yrs. old now, so I’ve had some time to “bounce back.” He’s been having a bit more difficulty w/ erections recently, so that might affect the sensations for him. I know that I’ve been having more g-spot O’s, and I do tend to tighten up again when I get close to hitting those, then sometimes he has trouble holding back! 🙂 (Hope that’s not TMI!)
Anyway, that’s my experience. I’m also curious at this point, whether there are any others with a similar experience.
Yep, same thing. If I have an O before we go back to PIV for him to finish, I’m much, much tighter. It is the engorgement. 🙂
I too have noticed the same thing and enjoy it. It happens anytime I have multi O’s before PIV penetration. I usually try to be on top when this is the case, just for more control, although rear entry positions are amazing too 🙂
I always notice that I am tighter after I orgasm
I also feel tighter after an orgasm but we usually do not have a problem with PIV afterwards. I wonder, is your husband rather large, or is it that you contract that much??
I have exactly the same problem. I never thought of it as being tighter, just that it hurt a little. I thought since I orgasmed I was already starting to dry out, go back to my pre-arousal state. I usually use a little lube and that solves the problem
I love giving oral! I like receiving too, but never like to finish that way because I just LOVE the filling feeling of my husband inside of me. So, l always try and push him away, though that makes him crazy and then he tries harder.. fun huh?
Ok, but yes I know what you’re talking about! I am the same way.. i think it’s the contracting of all the muscles!
Jamie, Think of it this way – What’s the harm with allowing him to bring you to an O and then another with PIV? Once we are stimulated, it is easier and can allow more O’s. What woman won’t want that? I understand what you mean, yet this is about a giving relationship. Maybe you guys can take turns? Just a thought.
When you have an orgasm your pelvic muscles tighten, the same as doing Kegel exercises, and this causes you to feel tighter. My husband got me some Ben Wah balls for my birthday (at my request) because I have had two children and was having some incontinence issues when I sneezed… I have been using them and they have really helped tighten up my muscles and made my orgasms stronger. If you want a flat tummy, you do sit ups; if you want a tight vagina, do kegels!
Unfortunately, I don’t know as my husband hasn’t ever been able to “finish me off” through oral.
Once I have an orgasm I can’t tolerate any more stimulation because it hurts I need a few minutes before I can do anything more, its like female premature ejaculation
We’re still working on getting me to orgasm. We’ve been married several months and I’ve felt close but haven’t quite gotten there. any ideas? when we’re in the mood, we usually get to the piv pretty quickly. do we need more foreplay? whats the easiest position to orgasm with? i masturbate with a vibrator sometimes (with dh’s blessing, to see if i can figure out how to help myself o) and can get to the point where my vagina will ‘spasm’ for a couple seconds-but there has to be more to it than that right? (after the spasm my clit gets really sensitive and i’m not really up for stimulation to it). Id love any thoughts/ideas.
I haven’t noticed a difference if I orgasm or not before PIV, but I will have to pay more attention (it’s only been 16 years!)
My husband performs oral almost every time we have sex and if he brings me to orgasm orally (I can only have one orally, I’m too sensitive after that first one) and then I can have several orgasms after with PIV and they come very easily. We call them “freebies”. Sometimes it just isn’t working orally and I just want him inside me so I ask for him and my orgasms are so different from when he brings me to orgasm orally and then PIV. I think they are almost better. More intense. It doesn’t stop me from having orgasms orally though! Has anyone every had this experience?
Preachers bride- have u tried oral? It was a rough go for me as well. I’m only able to orgasm by oral stimulation to my clit. It’s satisfying for me. I’ve not been able to have a vaginal orgasm. I will share that I had to “let go” to get there. Release stress, everyday life, preachers wife issues, etc. Foreplay is huge for me… touching throughout the day, texting, phone calls….the more foreplay for me the more I’m turned on. You’ll read on here to listen to your body, get to know yourself. This site is AWESOME! I’ve been married 18 yrs & just found this site a few months ago. I’ve learned so much! ;0) God is good. Best wishes to you & your new journey….
Me too! Have you figured out any way to solve it?
I typically have trouble having an orgasm with PIV, though i have succeeded a couple times. Those orgasms that were purely internal were so intense i thought i was going to come out of my body, I actually screamed at the peak. I’ll still never refuse oral though… lol. So yeah, PIV orgasms alone are more intense to me than both or pure oral
Try kegel exercises every day!!! Do them at stop lights to pass the time, no one will know ; )
You said ‘spasm’ and then it’s “really sensitive and i’m not really up for stimulation” Okay first I get you, and weird as it may sound here is an analogy- you know when you get tickled you REALLY want it to stop because it is TOO sensitive but your kind of enjoy it because it makes you laugh. For some women an O or getting to the point of multiple O’s is letting go and getting past that first point of not liking this extreme sensitivity and letting go so that you fully just enjoy the experience. I know sometimes it can feel too sensitive but trust me you won’t die from an O.
If by “too sensitive” you mean it’s irritated or dry then keep going but relax don’t worry about how long it takes, give your body a chance to work with your heart so it won’t feel irritated down there. “Good Clean Love” is a organic lubrication for manual stimulation (I don’t think you can use it with a condom) but the almost naked sent might help trick your body into working for you. Also maybe husband needs to start romancing you though out the day to warm you up, mentally and physically. Maybe start “things” but then take a break and then try again later so your body can keep up. If it won’t work one night, try the next, and then the next, don’t give up : )
Orgasms from oral sex are so good and I enjoy it very much, but PIV, wow my husband brings me to tears(happy tears) because we share such a oneness that we just feel like OMG… Thank you Lord!
Awesome Read!
I am so glad to read this article since it’s almost verbatim what I deal with. My hubby always feels like he’s doing something wrong even though I assure him it’s just my body. I often don’t like to cum so that we can have sex, etc more easily.
Tighter after oral? Really?
I am as loose as a goose waddling.
Oral is the precursor for anything that requires me open up more.
I flower open like a bloom, my husband still comments on how cool it is when it take place.
I can’t imagine how you can be tighter after all that diving in.