So the whole focus of this chapter was to show us how important ONENESS is in our marriages. Again, I like how he used a real example for us (Brenda & Kevin) and walked us through their struggles and growth. I highlighted his quote on page 49: “Whenever we make orgasm the goal of sex, we will fail to experience godly sex. In other words, the “Big O” of sex is not orgasm; it’s oneness.” Then two pages later he said: “Orgasm delights for a moment; oneness lasts a lifetime.” How profound! I almost want to print it out and hang it on my refrigerator or something! (almost 😆 )
When he talked about praying together (page 52) it kind of hit home with me. We never pray together. I wished we did, but it’s just not something we’ve ever done. I pray often but it’s always alone. It would be nice to pray together before making love, and not only that but it would be nice for my dh to LEAD in us praying together. Mr. Gardner is right that I would indeed find that sexy and sensual, in an odd sort of way. It would touch me inwardly and help to break down any barriers/walls I had up (even ones I didn’t realize were there) in order to have a more fulfilling, emotional, and spiritual ONENESS with my husband. Anyone else see it this way?
I did relate somewhat to what he said on page 55 about people struggling with control issues. (That would be me 😕 ) I am a very orgasmic woman and have a history of having multiple O’s in one love making session. However, I do find myself more ‘on guard’ than not and do find it hard sometimes to, as he says: “abandon myself to the love and care of the other.” I have friends who would describe me as somewhat of a control freak. I admit that losing control is a very uneasy feeling for me and not one that I experience a lot. I think I’ve grown to struggle with this more in recent years than past years, even though I know in my head that I need to take LESS control and give God the ULTIMATE control. I would have liked to have read more about this than just the one paragraph he gave us, but I realize that this book wasn’t written just for me and my own issues… and so I will read on!
Sex being a form of worship… umm… okay. I will admit that it is kind of hard for me to wrap my brain around this one, but I finally kind of saw what he was saying…I think.
I LOVE that he quoted the Song of Songs!
In the last couple of pages of this chapter, he told us about another book by Scott Stanley, where Mr. Stanley uses the analogy “between the children of Israel standing at the edge of Canaan, the brink of the Promised Land, and Christians standing on the brink of God’s design for marriage.” The Israelites missed out on the blessings that God wanted to give them because of their fear and lack of trust. Some of us are that way too…missing out on blessings in our own marriage beds because of something holding us back, like our own fears, or pride, or even our own stubborn self wanting to stay in control.
Not sure what else to say right now. I believe that chapter 3 has had the biggest impact on me thus far. What do you all think?
Christian Nymphos 