Finish the following sentence in the comment box:
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I sometimes feel inadequate about ______.
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Sept.12: The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie OMartian
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Being a wife. I sometimes have moods where I feel I’m not doing enough or a good job of it. I know that’s not true. Hubby is proud of me and says I’m doing a great job :).
My appearance. I know that my husband thinks I am attractive, but I am not beautiful and often wish I was. I have to remind myself that there is more to being beautiful than physical beauty. A woman who is loved by her husband, who carries herself with confidence and maximizes her best features, and who lives her life with love and compassion for others is a beautiful woman.
This is so true. I like to try to always look my best physically, but the sustaining beauty of strong character and confidence in our identity in the Lord is lasting and far more important so that is where I put the most focus.
Lately just about everything. I’m 8 1/2 months pregnant and I feel like i can’t give my husband anything I should. Sex is rare, home cooked food isn’t happening enough, I feel totally fat and I am really sore from the pressure of the baby on my groin area so even moving is hard. I know that I need to give myself a break and that this is all temporary but I feel like I am a failure lately. He doesn’t make me feel that way but I see what he misses and know that I can usually give so much more. It doesn’t help that we only had six months between pregnancies, only five of which were we able to have sex. I feel like its been a long desert time.
my looks most of the time. My hubby thinks I’m beautiful and tells me often. I am slightly overweight and want to be smaller. I’m working towards that, for myself. He truly loves me the way I am.
Also about being a mom. I always think that I’m not doing a good enough job with my kiddos. That I’m not giving them everything that I could, and I don’t mean financially. I feel like I should be able to do more with them, like play, read, pretend. However, I’m so busy with keeping things running and doing all of the “mom” duties, that I tend to never stop and just “be” with them.
Praying for you! 🙂
Being a homemaker (housekeeper, whatever you want to call it). I am HORRIBLE at cleaning, organizing, maintaining and all around taking care of our home! Dirty dishes can stack up for days, even weeks, at a time.. My husband generally doesn’t have a decent meal ready for him when he comes home from work.. and I can’t even remember the last time I really dusted, if ever. I am just soo lazy and unmotivated and I really hate that about me.. I hate that I am like this. My husband loves me completely and is able to tolerate this, but I know that he wants so much more from me!
Ohhhh Nellie, I will be praying for you. A year ago I could have written what you did until the day my H came home and said “I just can’t live like this anymore” Because he remained sweet and loving I had no idea how deeply it bothered him to come home to a mess everyday and we had been married almost 20 years at that point!
That day I started to motivate myself to be better, started little…bed made everyday and a tidy kitchen when he got home at first it was all for him, now I love coming home to tidy home too. I pray you find your motivation and that it doesn’t take you the 20 years that it took me to find the strength and desire to make your home a haven for your man.
It sounds like it bums you out too ((((hugs))))
On the Mom thing it is ok to let the dishes sit in the sink a little longer and wait to vacuum the floor. My kids are starting to leave, two in college and one in high school, they don’t tell me that they remember how I always had dishes done are a clean house. They remember the times we stacked the dishes and went down to wade in the river. The times I stopped cleaning to let them read me a book. There is always time to “keep things running”, but one day they won’t be there to make memories with. It is okay to take time to “play with the kids”.
Nellie try looking at FLY Lady. She has a wonderful system to help you become a better housekeeper.
Nellie, I have been thinking about your post since I read it last night. I also encourage you to begin taking small steps to improve the situation in your home. Take a little bit of time every day to improve one area, maybe starting with the kitchen/eating area. It will be such a blessing to your husband to come home to a more orderly home. Also, if you are the person who is in charge of meals for your family (and it sounds like you are), please take the time to have a nice evening meal for your husband at least several days a week. It doesn’t have to be a gourmet dinner, but something that shows that you care and want to bless him. It’s not hard to cook some spaghetti, heat up some sauce and bread, and make a salad. Or even to heat up some soup and make some nice sandwiches with fruit on the side. These small efforts will pay off for you and your husband and, as has been mentioned, you will find that you appreciate them too.
Ahaha, my lifes motto!
I totally agree with you. Make time for your kids. They’re only little for awile, and after they leave the nest its too late. My 9 children range in ages between 9-23.
Oh no! Its been like once a week or a little less often. For us that is very bad. We are usually almost daily. Although this weekend has been better. 😉 Honestly the house stuff has a lot to do with how we do along with my other issues. My husband has Aspergers Disorder and environment really effects him. So, when the house is a mess and the dishes and dinner don’t get done its makes sex hard for him. But Friday I actually took some steps to work out the house (for good) and dishes are all but done. (Just the last used to do.) So there have been a lot of things effecting our sex life. After working on things the last few days its been better and my mom is coming over tomorrow to help get the house settled more before that baby arrives. (We moved in November and have yet to finish putting everything together.) Thanks for your prayers, they are already helping.
I could have written your post! (See above comments) I don’t do well with FLY Lady at all but I have found a site that seems to be working for me. Its organizedhome.com. There are tons of articles that explain things the way I understand. FLY Lady is just too…cutesy for me. Sorry to devotees but she seriously irritates me. We have begun to implement the family notebook they recommend and the articles about laundry and some other things really got through to me. Its less of a regimented system that FLY Lady feels like to me than a way to understand what needs to happen and how to fix it. There are also a ton of printables including the entire notebook system. Our biggest fights in the last couple of years have been because of the messy house. So, I’m right there with you and am trying my best to break free as well.
are you comfortable, giving him a hand job? I found a link on this site to a website that teaches some new moves. If you are feeling badly about a lack of sex you can still give him release that way. Oh and good luck with your delivery!
I would have to say that there are two areas that I struggle. Having three babies took a toll on my body, like all of us. The last baby was 9 1/2 pounds and my belly is just so stretched out. Last year I lost 34 pounds but put 8 back on over the holidays. I’m working on getting rid of those 8 and I’d like to lose 30 more. That would put me at my ideal weight. My husband has been doing the eating plan too and lost 30 pounds with me. I just get down because even when I lose the total weight my belly will still be sagging. Maybe this shouldn’t bother me but it does.
My other area that is difficult is my walk with God. We’ve been in complete survival mode due to the economy for the last 4 1/2 years. We pretty much lost our business with the real estate crash and things just don’t seem to be getting better. My husband is working so hard but there are not enough good jobs that will pay the bills and we’re losing our home. About a month ago God sent me to Malachi 3. As I read this entire book I knew that He was giving me a slap on the wrist for not tithing consistently and allowing my fear to keep me from trusting Him with our financial situation. I’m the one in the family that takes care of all the bills and it’s my fault that we didn’t tithe.
how I look. My husband says I’m pretty, but he really wants me to loose the little bit of a belly I have. It’s not so much my weight, just no belly… it’s really painful when he tells me I need to loose it, but I’m glad he’s honest with me.
how disorganized I am. I am almost certain I have ADD that has never been diagnosed and part of that is that you are disorganized.
my body…. i think we all have a bit of this one. 😛
perhaps, to make the habbit of being neater/whatever started, make little checklists for yourself; make the bed, do the dishes,… only a short list at first, then add gradually. check off the things when their done… suggestion.
A lot of things. Being a good wife, lover and friend to my husband. My looks and my body. My husband has a great toned body and after 3 kids I do not. Plus he is just perfect at everything he does. How do you live up to those standards?
the way I move during sex. I don’t feel like I move with rhythm.