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Sept.12: The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie OMartian
Weekly poll #90: Who would you feel most comfortable asking questions about sex?
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Call me crazy, but since I’ve been married, my mom has been my greatest resource about sex. It was always awkward before, but now, it’s helpful to know that she is there for me 🙂
hehe she even came to my sex toy party! Got to love my mom!
I thought it was kinda sad to see how low the votes for mother were! I wonder why that is and I hope my kids dont feel that way however I have only boys though. I cant ever talk to my mom about sex and I so have tried to figure out why and I so dont want that for my kids! I tell them all the time I know way more than your friends so please ask me!!! Anyways just a thought!
For me it’s my mother-in-law and my sister. My mom is pretty conservative, so anything regarding sex is like a foreign language to her, or “sinful”. My mother-in-law is pretty open about nearly everything, and my sister (though still single) is very open about sex as well. She (my sister) and I often talk about kinky ideas and such. Kind of sad that they’re the only ones I know I can talk rather blatantly about sex, and not among my married lady friends.
At least in my experience, while my mother and I talk about practically everything there are certain topics that we both would rather not think about in terms of the other. I am delighted my parents have a happy and healthy marriage but I really just don’t want those details. And visa-versa. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
I would never ask my mom honestly. I never got much information out of her before I got married (had no idea what an erection was) and don’t feel comfortable asking about it now.My relationship with her is very good but I don’t want her knowing what is going on in my bedroom. DH and I are fairly kinky (at least in my mind) and she would not be comfortable knowing that. I actually get most of my question answered here. The person I feel the most ok talking to is my best friend but to me sex is too private to talk to anyone about in too much detail,
I picked best friend, although mine is a male. I found it very sad to see male best friends, fathers, and brothers not on the list. Just because they may not have the same genitals as us does not mean that they can’t be important, loving, and moral sources for sexual advice.
I have trouble talking about the specifics of sex with anyone I know personally, including my DH. When I go out with girlfriends, the evening usually ends with us having a mission to go home and have sex with our DHs, but that is about it.
I tell my DH that I will take care of the menu for the meals if he will take care of the menu for our sex life. I know he wishes I would talk more about what I like and don’t like in the sex area, but I have not been able to so. Maybe someday!!!
At this point in my life, I am blessed by many young women that turn to me. I consider it a privilege to talk to women about this subject. The book of Titus teaches that the older women are to teach the younger women to love their husbands.
Young husbands have many needs, but two of their main ones are food and sex. I find it puzzling that we can teach our daughters about how to prepare a meal, but not be open enough to share about sex with them.
I am so glad for this wonderful site. I have lost count of how many women I have shared it with. I am sure that many marriages are strengthened because of this place.
Before I got married, it was definately my mom. But I’m thinking that maybe the theoretical talks of future sex were easier than discussing my actual sex life-she and I haven’t talked sex since I got married. I know it would embarrass my DH if I were to discuss our sex life with my mom.
Our marriage is still new (5ish months) and I’m still trying to find someone to discuss things with. So far, its mostly my husband (which is actually pretty great) but I’d love to have a (female) best friend to talk with more.
At other times in my life my mom has been my first resource for information about all sorts of things including sex. However, since I married I think my husband and I need some privacy in the bedroom. Particularly at the beginning the sex was truly aweful and I did not want to deal with my mom’s feelings about the situation on top of my own.
I can relate to part of what you said here. During marriage I haven’t talked to my mom much about sex, but prior to marriage I did. I would be happy to offer the same to my own kids. Like Steph said above, I want my kids to know that their dad and I are their best resource for sex information. I won’t tell them the specifics of what we do or don’t do, but I want to be able to talk about any questions they have. So far it’s working, but they are still pretty young.
I answered aunt/cousin/close relative…but now that I’m thinking of it that was really before I was married and early on in marriage. Now I don’t talk to anyone about sex really except my husband and discussions on this site. I struggle between being too private and with wanting to share the good things I know. I feel like I would be awkward, but I have a strong desire to share! I would love to have a good friend to talk to. My best friend is unmarried so, for some reason I never feel that comfortable talking to her about our sex life. My husband is a pastor and does a lot of pre-marital and marriage counseling, and my hope is that I will have more opportunities and boldness to encourage women in their sex lives. I feel like the other pastor’s wives in our church would be good, safe friends for me to discuss these things with, and we’re all growing closer together as friends.
I put cousin but she really is my cousin in law. We don’t get specific or graphic but she is the one who invited me to the “pure romance” party and she bought me crotchless panties for my birthday. She and my H were raised like brother and sister and she lives right behind us now and it is nice. I can now talk to H too I always felt awkward about it until recently but since we both read Sheet Music our communication and our sex lives just keep getting better and better
Here on CN is where I can share and discuss specific details and get my questions answered. You spice girls are a true God send and you have strengthened my marriage immensely!
I answered best friend. She has been my best friend since the 7th grade (and we turn 29 this year). I don’t know what I would do without her.
my sis and a couple of my best friends are my number one go tos usually, but my husband loves when I just ask him… go figure, open and honest communication.
I answered cousin/close relative because for some reason sister wasn’t an option. When I first was married she sahred a book wiht me “Intended for Pleasure”. We haven’t shared a lot. My family doesn’t communicate that much about much of anything. This website has been a good resource though.
For me it’s a combination of my mom, my sisters, and a few close friends. My mom was never really open about it until I got married. She and my dad are coming up on their 36th anniversary, and at 56 & 54 they expect to continue to have a very active sex life. My mom always told me that she had been praying that my husband and I would have a great sex life like theirs. I appreciate that so much. At 29 and menopausal (had a full hysterectomy last year) I find her concern and information very valuable.
I HATE talking to my mom about sex. All growing up she and my dad fought and she was WAY too open with me about how bad their sex life was… it was really discouraging. At least I grew up associating good sex with a good marriage, and bad (or no sex) with a bad marriage, so it hasn’t been hard for me to prioritize sex in my own marriage, but I have zero interest in letting my mom in on any of it.
I am much more comfortable talking to other young moms in happy, stable relationships. I sometimes wish I had an older mentor, but for now I feel I’m getting more scriptural encouragement from younger women with similar mindsets, than from a lot of the older women I know who are unhappy in their marriages. Sad it should be that way, but at least I’ve been encouraged by how many happy young wives I know!
My friends don’t talk about sex. Sad really as when I wasn’t a Christian and wasn’t married I had a whole group of friends that I could talk to about anything. Now, my closest friends look uncomfortable when I bring up sex so I come here and talk with complete strangers.
Yes but isn’t awesome we can go somewhere I so love this site!!!!
I COULD NOT talk to my mom, or mother-in-law…… GROSS. When my mom tried to tell me about sex when I was younger I got SOOOO embarrassed (i was 16), so she gave up. We were taught how dirty it was, and were not allowed to talk about it growing up! Everything i have learned has been thru experience or reading about it.
We were not allowed to say “pregnant” growing up, or wear red nail polish! I still feel naughty when I were red nail polish.
SOO,,, I really don’t ask anyone!
You know, a month ago I thought the exact same thing! I would NEVER have dreamed ever talking to my mom about sex. Ever!! My mom just didn’t strike me as much of a sexual person at all! I always thought of her as more of a sex hater.
However, a couple weeks back she was staying with my husband and me for about 10 days. During her stay, she accidentally caught me having a “masturbation quickie” (it was completely accidental; she was supposed to be napping…enough said). I was absolutely MORTIFIED!! I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed in my whole life! Words can’t describe it. BUT, surprisingly, amazingly, unexpectedly, my mom was totally cool with it. She was completely nonchalant about it and acted like it was no big deal at all. “Okay, who are you, and what have you done with my mother?” I was thinking. Anyway, I saw a new side to my mom that day. My mom is actually really down to earth about sex and so easy to talk to. I wish I had known this years ago (and I definitely want to be open and make myself approachable with my kids–I want them to be able to talk to me about anything!). Before this happened, I would never have thought to talk to my mom about anything sex related. Now I definitely will. I found out that my mom has a high sex drive too and masturbates often as well. And my mom even has a collection of toys. It was really wonderful to be to talk so openly with her.
My point: Perhaps, sometimes, we don’t give our moms enough credit.
I don’t have any of the above available to talk to about sex so finding CN has been such a wonderful blessing to DH and I in so many ways.
A stranger I know and where I can freely discuss sexual matters, according to my spiritual beliefs, is on the CN site