Weekly poll #97: What attracted you most to your husband when you first met?

Love and Respect: Chapters 11 – 14

Please only participate if you have read the chapter for context. If you haven’t yet had a chance to read these chapters, you are welcome to return to this post when you have.

Just like last week’s book study, since the following chapters are intended for men, I invite you to reflect on the ideas and share if you can relate to the examples and stories in each chapter.

Chapter 11 Reflections

Understanding – In this chapter I can really identify with the need for my husband to just listen sometimes and not necessarily give me any “help” if I am having a problem. I have actually come to the point where I will preface a conversation about a frustrating situation with a comment like, “I don’t need you to fix this, but I just wanted to share what’s going on.” It been a very helpful communication tool for us.

Chapter 12 Reflections

Peacemaking – One comment that bothered me in this chapter was on page 156, ” I learned that God intended for some conflict to exist in marriage.” He based it on 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, but I do not see how this verse supports that statement and it is contrary to what the Lord has been teaching me in recent years about pain and suffering in general. I do not agree that God intended conflict. I believe he intended complete unity, but humanity’s fall brought conflict into our relationships. Now that conflict exists, I believe God uses it all to His glory. It’s the miracle of his redemption. He uses the conflict in our marriages to make us holy and to bring us closer to one another, but I do not believe that it was part of his original plan for us.

Chapter 13 Reflections

Loyalty – Having come from a home with a habitually adulterous father, this is something I entered into marriage having fear about. God has brought me incredible healing over the years and I am thankful that I have a husband who is so committed to me and our marriage. As Eggerichs quotes on page 167, my husband agrees with the biblical statement “I have made a promise with my eyes. I promised not to look at another woman with sexual longing.”

Chapter 14 Reflections

Esteem – As expressed on page 181, although I can identify with feeling esteemed when my husband thanks me for things (as he does when I express thanks for we both have Words of Affirmation as high level love languages), I can not relate with the desire for my husband to read my mind (page 179). Well, perhaps I sometimes wish he was able to, but I certainly do not expect it. When I have a preference about something I am certain to express my opinion and when I genuinely do not have a preference, that is when I tell him to go ahead and decide. Sometimes he does the same with me, asks me to make the decision.

Please share you reflections below and be ready next week to discuss chapters 15 through 17.

Sentence Starters

Finish the following sentence in the comment box:


My husband likes me to ______, but I prefer to ______.


Same Sex Attraction: Interview

I want to introduce you to “Cori,” an acquaintance I met through The Marriage Bed forums. Her story has touched my heart so in my preparation for this series on Same Sex Attraction (SSA) I contacted her and she agreed to participate in an interview so that our readers could hear how this issue has touched a Christian marriage. You will also see that in Christ, Cori and her husband are finding victory in their journey. Please feel free to read the introduction to this series that was published last week if you have not had a chance to do so yet. 

Please share with our readers how SSA has had an influence in your marriage.

My marriage would not be what it is today without the influence of SSA and the redemption of this issue in our lives.  I am utterly re-defined in terms of my walk with Jesus, my marriage to my husband, and how I live my life in compassion and truth because of SSA.

Did you both enter your marriage unaware that this was an issue? If so, how did you each come to realize that this was a problem?  

My husband knew of his struggle (he was acting out while we were engaged, unbeknownst to me), but was unable to admit it to me, for fear that I would bolt.  I had no idea – he presented as a straight man.  I knew he had a porn issue, but I thought it wouldn’t be an issue once we got married and had sex.  I was that naive.

It was in Year Two of our marriage that this issue came to the surface – we had just gotten online and after an unexpected slowdown in the computer’s performance and learning about the “temporary internet files,” I discovered my husband’s secret.  It was porn, for sure, but it was gay porn.  This sent me in a tailspin – I didn’t expect gay images on the computer and didn’t know what to do with it.  Additionally, my husband was reading “muscle magazines,” but didn’t workout.

I ended up writing him a letter explaining how much I was hurt and putting it in his suitcase when he travelled for work.  He was gone for the better part of a month on that trip and I had time to calm down and he had time to think.  I honestly thought we were headed for divorce, but that was one of many times when God told me to stay in the marriage.  When my husband returned home, we talked.  He threw out his muscle magazines and promised not to go to porn sites on the computer, but that didn’t solve his problems.

What was the initial transition like to accepting that this was going to be a battle you would have to fight? Did it take a long time to accept that SSA was a problem?

I honestly stuck my head in the sand initially, preferring to trust my husband’s promises.  It soon became clear that he wasn’t able to “stay on the wagon” with regard to the computer, and we began a cycle of renewing our relationship, having him fall away (or step away intentionally) to self-medicate, and then finally confrontation/tears & apologies/promises to stop self-medicating.

I think I accepted that SSA would be a part of our life somewhere around Year Five – it never seemed to end, and I was firmly in the closet, because we didn’t have a safe place to be real.

What do you mean when you use the phrase “self-medicate?”

Using porn, masturbating to images that were not *me*, etc.  It’s a euphemistic phrase that covers any sort of undesirable behaviour and numbs whatever pain the user is experiencing.  It’s commonly used in recovery circles and in that case, can be any number of addictive behaviour cycles – drinking, using drugs, acting out sexually, etc.

Do you both view his struggle as something to get free from and healed of? Or is it something you accept as part of him that can not and should not be changed? 

My husband’s journey within SSA has been unusual and is morphing even now.  His actual attraction to men (the level of that attraction) has gone from a high of about 90% attracted to men to a current low of about 15%.  He reports that it continues to diminish as he gets healthier and closer to the Lord, dealing with his brokenness as he goes.

But in the same vein, we both recognize that this “thorn in his flesh” is one to be embraced and not prayed-away.  This issue has done multiple things that are damaging in our lives and stems from his horrible past of childhood sexual abuse, but has been redeemed to a point where he is more dependent upon the Lord than ever, which is a good thing.  His walk with God is more vibrant than it has ever been and although his actual attraction to men has lessened, we both see the struggle as a sort of ‘tether’ to Jesus.

Elizabeth Moberly, PhD, said that the struggle of SSA is based in legitimate needs and that those needs shouldn’t be prayed away – that instead, the struggler should focus on praying that those needs are met in a healthy, God-honouring way.

We recently went to a conference for married couples impacted by SSA and the overwhelming message of the weekend was that if our struggle keeps us dependent upon God, then He will keep that struggle in our lives.  He wants us to depend on Him in everything, and if the struggle does that, then it’s a blessing and not a curse.  So we can attempt to “pray it away” or “rebuke it away” or use any number of spiritual techniques to relieve the pressure of the attraction, but God might just be keeping us in the midst of it in order to redirect our focus to Him, not the struggle.  That idea radically changed how I viewed my husband’s struggle and our marriage within the context of his struggle.  It brought new meaning to 1 Thes. 5:18 (Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus).

Do you believe that certain aspects of your husband’s past influenced the struggle he now has with SSA? If so, can you give us insights into those things?

Absolutely yes.  My husband’s story isn’t identical to some with SSA, but it does reverberate loudly with many strugglers.

My husband was a “perfect storm” for sexual brokenness.  He was sexually abused by his maternal grandfather beginning at the age of 3.  He told his parents about the abuse directly, but they chose not to believe him.  They also chose not to get him any help or protect him from his abuser, which permitted the abuse to continue.

Compounding that abuse was his father’s outright rejection of my husband – my father-in-law poured his affection, time, and attention  on my husband’s younger brother, who was (we think) “clean” in the mind of my father-in-law.  The rejection by his father compounded the confusion my husband felt as a young boy – why he “felt different” and his body responded to the abuse he was subjected to.  The gender confusion was cemented in adolescence when his emotions became sexualized and as an awkward teen, he was ostracized for being “different.”

And adding more confusion to the mix, my mother-in-law is a very unhealthy woman who had an emotionally-incestuous relationship with my husband, making him her confidante when my father-in-law was emotionally and physically unavailable.

What has the journey with this struggle been like for your husband? How have you been able to support him in it?

It has honestly been excruciating for my beloved.  He has fought his attraction for so many years and felt like such a failure because of his inability to “stay on the wagon” and not self-medicate.  He has been porn-clean since January 2008, which has been amazing, but he still struggled with his mind and eyes roaming where he didn’t want them to roam and where he knew God didn’t want them to roam.  He’s had more freedom in the last 18 months, but is still on his guard.

I began our journey (post-revelation) as his “accountability,” which I now call “being his cop.”  It wasn’t pleasant for either of us, mostly because it put me in an awkward position of policing the computer and his reading material and it put him in the role of trying to live up to the “policing,” and when he failed to do so, hiding his “crime.”

We’ve left that stage behind and I am now able to walk with him in this – we are a team and it’s not a matter of “his struggle” as much as it is “our life together, impacted by his struggle.”  We do a lot of talking and decompressing, but I make sure that even with my educational background in counseling, I don’t become his therapist.  I’m his wife and he needs me in that position.  We have a therapist for a reason, and I’m not that person.

I am my husband’s cheerleader, his support, his lover, and his Shield-maiden.  I pray with him, for him, and for myself and our family – and when he’s tired or war-wounded from his battles, I hold up the shield for him and he has a place to rest and heal.

Every so often we do a “status check” where I ask and he tells me how his journey is going on an internal level.  It’s for my healing of trust issues as well as to enhance our marriage and communication levels.  He knows that no matter what he says, I will love him and accept him.  I am a safe place for him.

How has his struggle influenced your own emotional and spiritual wellness? What resources have you utilized to get support for yourself?

I had no idea how my spiritual and emotional life would be changed by marrying my husband.  I expected a fairly “normal” life with him; this journey has been anything but.

I had my own issues of self-esteem and trust.  After discovering my husband’s “secret,” my self-esteem and trust issues became front and center.  It took me a while to separate myself from my the struggle and realize that although it affected me deeply, it wasn’t about me.  I didn’t “make him gay” and nothing I did caused his attraction.  Once that became clear to me, I was able to look to the Lord to heal my issues and help me heal on with my husband’s journey.

Things came to a head for me in the spring of 2008, when I very clearly heard the Lord (audibly) speak to me.  He said, “Your husband is about to become the man that I have called him to be.  You need to match him.”  YIKES.  That began a path to healing in my own life that allowed me to more actively be a help to my husband and focus on his pain and past, not clouding the issues with my own.  The Lord removed thorns from my heart from past events that were poisoning my life, and when the process was over, we were able to focus on my husband and his healing.

Resources which have helped me include The Marriage Bed, private counseling, Cross Power Ministries, Intimate Issues by Pintus & Dillow, hours of girl-talk with other women who understand intimacy-issues, and referring back to a bevy of books on homosexuality, emotional healing, sexual abuse, and emotional incest.

How has your husband’s battle with SSA affected your intimacy with one another, both sexually and in emotional oneness?

It’s a huge issue for most couples impacted by SSA, and we were not excluded from the struggle.  My husband grew up understanding sex to be bad, secret, and twisted, and I had terrible messages about sex from my upbringing, in addition to having sexual trauma that took place in college but that I neglected to deal with.

We also made mistakes in our engagement in the name of “purity” that set us off on the wrong foot; we opted not to have any physical contact (touching, kissing, petting, etc.) until we were married.  We actually had our first kiss on the altar during our marriage ceremony!  We did it for multiple reasons, all of which were Godly, but all of which were devoid of God’s leading.  We decided to do this without consulting the Lord, and ended up making things very difficult for me in later years.  I had to go from 0-100mph in the course of about 3 hours – from kissing to “I’m supposed to do WHAT?!”  It was a recipe for disaster and didn’t help me develop trust and intimacy with my husband.

When you combined that decision, our backgrounds, and my husband’s SSA, we were more like roommates for the first 13 years of our marriage than anything else.  He would self-medicate with porn & masturbation, have nothing left for me, and then I would take his rejection of my advances as “he doesn’t want me” or “he doesn’t like my body.”  I also transferred a subconscious anger at him because of my un-healed sexual trauma, which was entirely unfair to him.

Our intimacy was probably down to once every 4-6 months at different points in our marriage, infrequently dotted with times of sexual connectedness.  Things really began turning around for us sexually in 2008 as I dealt with my issues and sexual trauma – my husband was delighted to be a participant in my healing and my subsequent appetite for him.

It has been challenging to have this concept of SSA in our bedroom, but by working slowly and consistently and letting the Lord lead us, we have made huge progress.  We now make time for each other and for sex by making it a ‘scheduled item’ on the calendar and have found tremendous satisfaction and emotional intimacy in that.

As our sex life turned around, our emotional oneness also grew deeper – we were no longer shy about praying together, reading the Bible together, and otherwise talking about the hard things.  Sometimes it still takes me “screwing my courage to the sticking place” to talk about certain things, but it definitely has gotten easier to be emotionally vulnerable with him compared to what it once was.

As you have been processing through this struggle, what opinions and philosophies have you encountered in secular streams of thought? Have they been helpful or not? How so?

Most secular theories discount us as “freaks” or “religiously motivated nutjobs,” and unfortunately, many inside the Church believe the secular world’s take on the subject.  “Once gay, always gay” is the prevalent belief outside the Church.  There are some secular groups who marginally and begrudgingly accept where we are, but only because in order to be considered “inclusive,” they have to include people whose experiences and worldviews are different than theirs.

Most of the secular philosophies are not terribly helpful, with the exception of two:  cognitive therapy (talk therapy) in the hands of a skilled Christian therapist can yield tremendous results.  My husband has come to grips with the roots of his struggle in this way.  EFT (emotional freedom technique, or “tapping”) used in a Christ-centered context is also very helpful in releasing pent-up emotions and wrong beliefs about oneself.

What about the Church? Has your local church been helpful? Are there people in the church who are aware of his struggle? What about the broader Church? What is the predominant sentiment expressed by the Church at large to people who struggle with SSA? Is there any shift in thinking that you have noticed?

The Church as a whole has flubbed much of this issue.  There seems to be two main lines of thought/belief within the Faith about SSA:  1)  the temptation (i.e., SSA) is sinful and the appropriate response is condemnation and isolation; or 2) everyone is loved by God, regardless, and the only appropriate responses are to be affirming and re-define Scripture.

Very few churches pick the middle path to acknowledge SSA and still hold to a Biblical belief that while the attraction isn’t wrong, acting out on the attraction is – although it is not a sin which is Greater Than Any Others.

My husband and I particularly appreciate this last approach – it creates a culture in which broken people can find healing in the presence of God and shuns the idea that some sins are somehow worse than others.  All sins put Jesus on the cross – to then make some “more grievous” than others indicates that the blood of Christ is incapable of satisfactorily cleansing all sin, which is heresy.

Our local churches have been fantastic – we moved across country last year and our church where we used to attend was amazing.  We were honest with them about our journey and they embraced us, trusted us with leadership positions, and encouraged us in our healing process.  Our current church has been incredible – from the platform we hear compassion, Biblical truth, and see people live out God’s love in a way that touches us to the core.

Portions of the leadership in our current community are aware of our journey and have embraced us; we are telling staff as we build relationships with them and have a chance to bare our souls.  We haven’t been rejected and indeed have been asked to lead small groups within our church’s marriage ministry.  They recognize our journey and testimony and we have been accepted.

We see glimmers of hope across the country with different churches and how they handle this issue. We are hopeful that as the “changing of the guard” takes place and new leadership comes in with more of the compassion of Christ than a love for “clean churches,” the trend will continue.  There is room for all sorts of brokenness in the Church, and the more we are changed by the love of Christ, the more we can pass along that love and compassion to others.  If being real about our journey encourages others to deal with their “stuff” and find healing, then it’s all worth it.

Where are the two of you at right now? Are you in a good place?

We are in a good place!  We are clinging to Jesus and to each other, and God is continuing to work out things in us.  We know our next step is to meet with a new therapist and pursue more healing for my husband – that’s a scary step, but we’re willing to do it, knowing that the Lord is leading us.

Spiritually, emotionally, and sexually, we’re doing better now than we ever have.  We have our ups and downs like everyone else, but we’re much quicker these days to ‘get back on track’ than in the past.  We’re walking this out one day at a time, but I’m here to tell others who are impacted by SSA that there really IS freedom in Jesus and that His touch isn’t too weak to heal in this issue, either.

Thanks so much to “Cori” for sharing the journey she and her husband have been on. It is our hope that it will help those for whom this is a struggle. If you would like to read more from her about this topic feel free to visit her blog at My Heart | His Heart. Watch next week for my wrap up article in this series on SSA. Please remember that we would love to have you contribute to the discussion in the comment section below, but comments will be moderated if they are lacking in grace and compassion towards one another. 

Weekly poll #96: What area of the world are you from?

Love and Respect: Chapters 8 – 10

Please only participate if you have read the chapter for context. If you haven’t yet had a chance to read these chapters, you are welcome to return to this post when you have.

Chapter 8 Observations and Quotations

1. Eggerichs calls The Energizing Cycle a proactive, positive and preventative way of staying off the Crazy Cycle. We begin in this chapter to consider how love is best communicated to a woman. The intent of this section of the book is to teach men how to love their wives in a way that is meaningful to them. Eggerichs has chosen 6 relational qualities that he has observed as a need in the women he has counselled. Together they make up the word “COUPLE” and are listed as follows. Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty and Esteem. Before we go into detail on each of them, generally speaking, can you identify with these things?

Page 120 [A pilot] learns that if his instrument panel tells him he’s upside down, even if he feels he’s right side up, he should listen to the instrument panel and turn the plane right side up, no matter how he feels.

2. This quote is an encouragement to men to trust that if they follow the guiding principles set out in COUPLE, even if it feels wrong, they will find that they stay off the Crazy Cycle more easily. Can you relate to this? Are there things in your life that you do because you know they are right even if they feel wrong?

Since the following chapters are intended for men, I invite you to reflect on the ideas and share if you can relate to the examples and stories in each chapter.

Chapter 9 Reflections

Closeness – I can relate to finding pleasure in my marriage through closeness. My husband and I love to sit next to each other on the couch in the evenings. Our focus isn’t usually on one another, but we like to just be near each other. I can’t say it is a stronger need in me than it is in him, but it’s definitely present. As I write this, movie credits are rolling over the TV screen from the show we just watched and he is working on something on his laptop next to me. This is how many of our evenings are, and we love it.

Chapter 10 Reflections

Openness – I can really relate to the analogy on page 136 of the circuit board. Without a doubt, stereotype or not, in my marriage our issues definitely all feel connected to me and for my husband he can keep them separate. Later on page 143 Eggerichs mentions that if a man is forceful in sharing his opinion it can sound harsh and unloving to his wife. This I can relate to as well. My husband and I express ourselves very differently and even when he does not mean to sound harsh, I have felt what Eggerichs refers to as “my air hose being clamped down on.”

I would love to hear what insights you found in these chapters. I’d like to have some discussion on them if there were certain points that were particularly helpful, even though the chapters are directed towards men.

Please be ready next week to discuss the remaining chapters covering the COUPLE acronym. Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty and Esteem.

Sentence Starters

Finish the following sentence in the comment box:


One thing I’m nervous about bringing up to my husband is…


Same Sex Attraction: Introduction

Well, the time has come that I sit down and begin a discussion on the very difficult topic of Same Sex Attraction (SSA). It’s difficult for a lot of reasons. First of all, it’s not talked about a lot in the Church so it’s hard to know where to begin. It’s also something that makes a lot of Christians uncomfortable so it’s hard to be honest about it. Because the majority of Christians, myself included, believe that God has establish that proper expression of sexual pleasure ought to be between one man and one woman in marriage, we often approach the questions surrounding SSA with a lot of judgement. It’s also a point of heavy contention between Christians and much of our society. The idea that it would be realistic for someone in the church to be struggling with this is embarrassing to a lot of Christians and the conviction that homosexual acts are sinful is offensive to those who support gay rights. The whole discussion is wrought with struggle and strife between the two sides. But I must take the time to discuss it, and here is why. These are excerpts from several emails we have received over the last little while.

I am a Christian and I am in a really great marriage with my husband of many years. How is it that I would struggle with attraction to other women? It’s not something I want and I avoid the attraction as much as possible but when it’s triggered, I’m reminded it’s still there. The thorn in my side. Is this a topic you could discuss? Bisexuality or attraction to the same sex?

I am married to a wonderful man and have wonderful children. However, I have a very serious struggle. I’ve had it for most of my life and it makes me feel good, yet very ashamed. The struggle is, that I find myself sexually attracted to other women, and I don’t know how to stop it. It makes me feel ashamed and unsaved at times. I try to figure out how this started. There are only two possible triggers…1) being molested by a woman, at a young age, and 2) seeing my share of porn on the past. Could you please try to address this issue? I’d like to have a healthy view of sex before God, and my husband. Thank you.

I have a history of bisexualism and have had bisexual tendencies since I first saw beautiful images of naked women in magazines that I was not supposed to see at a very young age, 8 or so…. I struggle with the tempation of being with another woman.

These women are having a very real struggle between their flesh and what they know to be true about God’s plan for sexual pleasure. Just so you know where I am coming from at the outset of this discussion, this is my conviction about homosexuality. A person who is prone to be sexually attracted to someone of the same gender is encountering a temptation for sin. I do not believe that most people choose to have same gender sexual desires, although bi-sexuality is becoming something of a fad so in some cases I do believe people choose it. I believe that a lot of different factors can influence a person to have very real struggles with SSA that they are not choosing to have, but what I believe is a choice is how the person responds to the struggle. For those who choose to embrace these desires as part of their identity and pursue a gay lifestyle, which I do not agree with, it does not give me licence to forfeit on the command to love. So while I am convicted based on the whole of Scripture that homosexual acts are sinful, I am equally convicted that the higher command is to love. And while I do not accept homosexuality as a legitimate expression of godly sexuality, I do not believe that it should be looked upon as so much worse than others in the church who struggle with marital fidelity, pornography addiction, or even selfish greed and malicious speech. They all tarnish the Bride of Christ and those in the body who struggle with these things need the Church to come along side and create an environment where people are safe to take ownership of their sin so that they can deal with it. I know that people on both sides of this contention-filled issue of gay rights are going to disagree with some aspects of my point of view, but it is my conviction nonetheless.

That being said, where do we go from here in this discussion? What is the solution? I am going to include an interview next week as part of this series on SSA, but in the meantime I want to end this introduction by presenting some questions for you to ponder and interact with.

1. Do you have people in your life who struggle with this or who have embraced homosexuality for themselves?

2. What would you do if you found out that someone in your church congregation was struggling with this?

3. If you found yourself feeling an attraction to someone of the same gender, what would you do?

If you wish to participate in the discussion I ask that you keep your comments respectful. Comments will be edited or deleted completely if they are an attack towards others. Feel free to share your opinion without accusing other commenters.

Weekly poll #95: How often would YOU like to make love?

Love and Respect: Chapters 5 – 7

Please only participate if you have read the chapter for context. If you haven’t yet had a chance to read these chapters, you are welcome to return to this post when you have.

Chapter 5 Observations and Quotations

1. When a husband and wife are in the Crazy Cycle, who should be the first to turn things around? For Eggerichs, the Lord lead him to this conclusion: the one who sees himself or herself as the most mature. My immediate response is different. I believe that the one who first recognizes that they are on a cycle of disrespect and a lack of love should be the first to make a change. What is your conclusion?

Page 76 Some wives fear that taking a respectful attitude during conflict with their husbands will render them powerless. These women do not believe a husband will change into a loving man unless he is awakened to his flaws. And the only way he will awaken to his inadequacies and faults is to hear his wife’s grumblings, corrections and contempt.

2. Do you think it is possible to mention flaws that you see in your husband without grumbling and contempt? In other words, can you maintain respect and also bring correction at the same time? I can. I think a wise woman can pick her timing and create an atmosphere of humility so that correction can be given and received.

3. Do you identify with the suggestion that when you get angry and lose your self control, that it comes from a place of wanting to be loved? While I agree with it in part, I don’t think it’s quite as simple as that. I think a lot of variables influence our emotions during conflict.

Chapter 6 Observations and Quotations

1. As mentioned in this chapter, do you feel a tension between unconditional respect and being a hypocrite? How does your heart respond to respond to the idea of respecting your husband even when you are not feeling like it?

Page 90 I am asking the Lord to show me ways to show [my husband] genuine respect. I have definitely seen a difference in his attitude toward me. 

I believe this is the key. The Lord knows you. He knows your husband. He knows how you can show genuine respect in your marriage in a way that will be authentic for you and meaningful for him.

Page 91 Showing respectful behaviour when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity, not hypocrisy.

So true. Amen?

2. On page 92 Eggerichs presents some verbiage that helped him more clearly communicate with his wife. “Honey, that felt disrespectful.” This is the sort of language that allows you to express yourself honestly without it becoming an attack on your spouse. What other phrases have you used with success?

Chapter 7 Observations and Quotations

1. On page 110, an excerpt from a letter recounts how God brought breakthrough to a marriage by softening the man and woman’s heart. I believe that any time we can humble ourselves and maintain soft hearts, there is going to be good fruit in our relationships. It has certainly been that way in my home with my husband, but also between us and our children. Have you experienced this good fruit?

Please feel free to share your own insights and questions below. Please be ready next week to discuss chapters 8 through 10.

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