Sentence Starters

Finish the following sentence in the comment box:


One thing I’m nervous about bringing up to my husband is…



  1. when I would like something specific. Or if I don’t like something. I am afraid he will think I am silly or something. For me I know this is not true, it is related to my past but it is one hurdle that I have had troubles getting past.

  2. our sex life. I don’t want to hurt him or make him feel inadequate which he has in the past. But when he asks whats wrong with me and I tell him I’m ok he keeps pushing until I tell him I want to ML.

  3. It used to be the clitoris. Finally had to just write him a letter about it. “Please give it some attention!” He took it well, and even commented that it is like an electrical socket. In a good way! Paper and pencil have been a great way for me to start up those sensitive conversations.

  4. Nothing. I have some mental health issues that I don’t like telling him about, but that’s because I hate to see him worry, and when we do discuss it the intensity of his love comes out, and that can get pretty emotional. I’m never nervous about though.

  5. needing more passion. He gets really upset and say “sorry I’m not good enough for you”.

  6. that I generally tense up everytime he moves to touch me. Semi-rough foreplay doesn’t turn me on. I feel like I am constantly saying “gentle, gentle.” I half think that we have different levels of skin sensitivity. Gentle carreses totally turn him off and just make him feel like his skin is crawling. But even though we’ve talked about it he just doesn’t seem to get that I don’t want to be touched the way he would like to be touched.

  7. that I want him to take care of himself more so I can be more attracted to him physically.

  8. what i REALLY think about oral sex…because i’m embarassed about it myself.
    …i didnt used to think of any postitive connection to it before whe got married, and even months into our marriage i didnt…i’m only still trying to rewire my brain into accepting when he gives me oral as something GOOD and constructive in our sexlife, because his intentions are loving and giving…he’s never pushed me into giving him oral, and constantly says he’ll wait for me to do whatever i want and wont “punish” me by taking away something else i like him to do…but it’s so difficult for me to admit to him that i fantasize about giving him oral, because all my life i’ve always viewed giving men oral sex is just a means for the man to use a woman; i’ve thought of it always as something dirty and BAD to do in a sex life, particularly a married one. …. :/

  9. its so hard to change your thinking, isn’t it?! i’m in the process of rewiring my brain about masturbation. its not that i thought it was evil or anything, but it wasn’t something i did before marriage. anyway, it might be easier for you to write your husband a letter telling him what you’re thinking. that way, you can say it anyway you want and can wait until you’re ready to give it to him.
    ps. i’m a newlywed and i know i haven’t really perfected the technique or anything but oral sex is really fun to give. hope things go well.

  10. I agree – it is so hard to change your thinking about some things! It has taken me years to change my thinking about OS. But, matt’s bride, you are already fantasizing about it, so that’s half the battle! I think your husband would be thrilled to know that you are thinking about it. And while it’s true that OS in many situations is a way that women are used and abused, in a loving marriage it can be very empowering for the wife! Just start out with some simple things (kissing him, touching him with your tongue) and see where it goes. You don’t have to be an expert at all, and you will figure out more about it over time.

  11. Have you ever read the book Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman? It is such a great book about intimacy in marriage. If you and your husband could both read it, it would be an opportunity for him to learn more about the things that turn women on, and the ways that women are different from men. And, of course, it would help you learn more about things that he might like too.

  12. Some personal demons still lying dormant due to my past and how I was raised. We have talked about them together, which is good.

    One thing I’m a bit nervous about bringing up to hubby is anal play. Last time we made love, he did stimulate the perineum during foreplay and I got a kick out of it. Anal play may not become part of our routine (and we may never go beyond just barely a fingertip in that zone), but it’d still be fun.

  13. I totally agree that your husband would love to hear that you are fantasizing about giving him OS. Something fun would be to tell him in specific detail about your fantacy. Its only words but it will bring you closer as you talk so intimately and maybe bring you closer to acting it out someday 🙂

  14. his personal hygiene. I don’t understand marks in his underwear. I tried talking before and he clams right up. There is past abuse there and I worry something is wrong.It sounds stupid but as if he doesn’t want to spend too much time cleaning or touching his bottom because that’s where he was abused.

  15. My hubby has the creepy-crawly skin thing too! He’s gotten waaaay better about touching me gently and I have tried to be more firm with my touches to him. Just make sure that you moan and say “oh yeah” a lot when he does it right. Also, grab his hand and apply it to your self (even just an arm or your belly) just the way you like it to encourage him.

  16. I think that if you haven’t already, you may want to send him a little text telling him you are thinking about OS. I just started really doing it about a year ago…after 20 years of marriage! Now it is a regular and mutually enjoyable part of our love making. Agree totally that it can be empowering and as many of us have experienced it is a big part of what makes our husbands feel on top of the world. When you are the one who puts him there it increases emotional intimacy because he feel more connected to you. It’s a big win win!.

    I also used to view it as demeaning so know how that feels. I bet if you pray about it and ask for a change of heart/mind and the grace to give this to your man you will be happy with the results!

  17. can you buy him those flushable wipes? They make getting things clean things easier.

  18. the fact that I would really like to watch him masturbate!

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