Weekly poll #101: What kind of articles would you like to see more of on CN?

Okay, this isn’t your traditional poll like we usually do.  Taking a break from that for one week.  In the comment section below, if you have a certain topic that you would like to learn more about, please place a brief answer in the comment section below.  I will only be allowing answers to the QUESTION to be published, so if you are commenting further on something suggested, it will not be published.  The results of this week will help me establish a new poll next week that you can input which areas YOU are most interested in reading articles about.

Thank you for your help and understanding!  🙂

Introducing …. Ruth

We are introduced to Ruth in the book of Ruth.  She was a Moabite woman who married one of the son’s of Elimelek and Naomi.    In the first chapter of Ruth, we find out that Naomi’s husband died, and she was left with her 2 sons.   Ten years later, both of Naomi’s son’s died, and she was left with her two daughters in law, Orpah and Ruth.  She encouraged both of her daughters in law to return to their homes.  Orpah did so, but Ruth was determined to remain with Naomi.

While with Naomi, she met a family relative of Elimelek’s named Boaz.  She worked in his fields, gleaning wheat behind the other harvesters that went before her.  Boaz treated her kindly, and Naomi was determined to find a home for her daughter in law for her kindness to her.   Boaz became Ruth’s  guardian- redeemer.  Boaz took her as his wife, and she conceived a son, Obed, who is the grandfather of King David.


To learn more about Ruth, you can find her in the Old Testament book of Ruth.

Sentence Starters

Finish the following sentence in the comment box:


If my husband had one free hour each week to spend entirely on himself, he would probably ________.


Weekly poll #100: How do you orgasm most of the time?

WOO HOO!  We made it to the century mark on polls!

Love and Respect: Chapters 22-24

Please only participate if you have read the chapter for context. If you haven’t yet had a chance to read these chapters, you are welcome to return to this post when you have.

Chapter 22 Observations and Quotations

This chapter is a summary of moving in the opposite direction of the Crazy Cycle and instead engaging in the Energizing cycle. His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love. Rather than withholding what your spouse needs most in response to your own needs not being meet this theory is about reaching beyond how you feel and choosing to offer one another love and respect. Through this act of humble submission one to another, we find that our spouse is then naturally motivated to give us what we need.

Do you agree with this theory? Does it work this way in your home?

Chapter 23 Observations and Quotations

On page 266 we are presented with a new aspect to the Love and Respect principle. The Rewarded Cycle. “If you get no results from practicing Love and Respect, why bother? The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions.”

One thought that I had as I read this chapter was, “If we are choosing to be respectful out of a motivation for our husbands to be more loving, is that authentic? Should we be surprised if it doesn’t work? For me this book has been most helpful in establishing the value of unconditional respect. So even if you don’t have a book-worthy testimony of how these principles work in your marriage, hold onto what the Lord has taught you. He will harvest good things in your life from it.

The Rewarded Cycle “His love blesses regardless of her respect. Her respect blesses regardless of his love.”

I think the balancing act in all of this is negotiating between unconditional respect and not enabling bad behavior. If we are not aware of it, we could end up erring to one side or the other during conflict.

Chapter 24 Observations and Quotations

Page 284 “No matter how depressing or irritating my spouse might be, my response is my responsibility.” For many of us this is not a new concept, but the opposite sure feels true sometimes. It’s very easy to fall into accusations of, “You made me…” How do we truly let go of the belief that other people are responsible for our reaction?

I liked the grain of sand illustration on page 285. Did it resonate with you as well?

The key in all of this, the hinge point for how our godly response to our spouse impacts our marriage is Jesus. I was glad the author included this. The kingdom of God come into our lives makes all the difference.

Page 290 “The Rewarded Cycle offers still more because the mature husband or wife does not go unnoticed by his or her children.” This is so true. I have seen it over and over again, as I am sure you have too. Our kids watch us so closely and they are learning how to relate with the people in their world as they witness our relationship with them and one another.

So how was this book meaningful to you? What are the key points you are taking with you? Would love to hear how you have been blessed and challenged by reading it.

Sentence Starters

Finish the following sentence in the comment box:


If I had one free hour each week to spend entirely on myself, I would probably ________.


Romantic Getaways

By the time this article is published, my DH and I will have returned from our family vacation.  We, along with our kids, have made this a priority every year for the past 3 years.  (This being our 4th)  This year is very special to us though.  During the middle of the vacation, we were afforded the opportunity to have a little romantic getaway without the kids.

I cannot possibly tell you how much these little getaways mean to me.  When the kids were younger, I wouldn’t do it.  I would think about the kids so much.  Were they ok?  Did they miss me?  Did they NEED me?  No one could replace me.   No one could take care of the kids as well as I could.  But what about my marriage?  What about my husband?  Didn’t he….didn’t WE deserve a chance to be the lovers we were meant to be?

You see, we were pregnant 5 months after we got married.   We never really had the opportunity to explore our sexuality together before our son came.  Our first anniversary was spent in Galveston and I was 7 months pregnant at the time.  Kinda hard to enjoy yourself when you are that far along.  It just went downhill from there.   Baby cries all night, feedings in the middle of the night, not enough sleep, going back to work and the guilt of putting the baby in daycare….it went on and on.  Our sex life didn’t….

So that is why this private time for us is so very important.  We started making weekly date nights.  The kids are old enough that we do our date while they are involved with Wednesday night activities at church.   On occasion, we plan something on a Friday night.   Our oldest is old enough to babysit, so we feel that our youngest is safe.  I have to admit that I have finally allowed us to go for dates with him babysitting where we get in very late…. going to concerts across the border and driving home afterwards.   I haven’t quite felt confident enough to let him babysit his sister overnight….not anything to do with my son, it’s still me.  But my parents and my mother in law have been awesome about keeping both kids while we go spend time by ourselves.   It is truly a blessing for us and our marriage.

Now, we’re back to work and the real world, trying to figure out how to have those date nights over the summer when church activities are done until the summer ends.   It is so important for your marriage to find a way to have date nights.  Do a babysitting swap with friends.   Someone from church.  A family member.   Make sure that your priorities in life are (1) God  (2) your spouse (3) your children and so forth…. Take my advice…it wasn’t fun when I put the kids before both my husband and God.

What are your experiences with dating your hubby or getaways just the two of you.  How often do you date?  Get away from it all?

Weekly poll #99: How long is your DH’s refractory period?

Love and Respect: Chapters 18-21

Please only participate if you have read the chapter for context. If you haven’t yet had a chance to read these chapters, you are welcome to return to this post when you have.

Chapter 18 Observations and Quotations

Authority – In this chapter the Eggerichs presents the value men have to serve and lead their families. To be honest this is a difficult point for me. You have to understand that I grew up with a father who was a disgrace. Perhaps because of the many years that I witnessed an abusive, sacrilegious, unkind “head of the family,” I have a hard time perceiving the concept of a man automatically being given a place of authority in the home. Certainly my mother, though even she herself would not claim to have been perfect, showed significantly more wisdom and spiritual direction in our home. And yet I have to wonder if all those years are actually a witness to the reality of how much authority a husband has in a home. Perhaps it was his lack of wisdom in wielding what he had been given that caused so much pain for the rest of us in the family.

All that to say, I can not wrap up my thoughts about this chapter into a neat little bow and say I have it all figured out one way or the other. But this I can say, together my husband and I stand strong to resist the attacks of the enemy on our home. Does he have more authority against it than I do? Sometimes it seems so. Sometimes it doesn’t. When we are at a stalemate in a decision, we tend not to make any change at all until we reach unity in prayer. I am rather of a submissive personality anyway so when I present an idea and my husband doesn’t like it, I don’t tend to get upset. I leave it with him and most of the time we end up doing as I suggested anyway. I don’t do this because I have in mind that he has authority over me. I do it because it is in my nature to do it without thinking about it. So in my mind I would say that I don’t like the over all generality that men have higher authority, but in my natural interactions with my husband, it does come out that I yield to him most of the time.

Chapter 19 Observations and Quotations

Insight – This chapter rang very true for me. My husband loves to think things through with me. He is a very wise man and I appreciate hearing his perspective on things. If I need to send an important email to one of my business contacts, I will often read it to him and he always has a helpful perspective. If I have a problem and I don’t actually want him to offer suggestions on a solution, I need to preface what I say with a blatant comment that I am not looking for ideas on how to fix it. If I do not make this preface, his natural desire to offer analysis of the situation will kick in and I’ll end up frustrated since I wasn’t looking for him to solve it for me.

Page 231 “A marriage needs her intuition and his insight.”

I really agree with this. In my own relationship with my husband our blend of intuition and insight often ends up in us making very good decisions together. Is this indicative of your marriage too?

Chapter 20 Observations and Quotations

Relationship – I was surprised that any women would even questions this as I haven’t noticed it as being a predominantly male value. I think a lot of men and women enjoy the friendship they have with their spouse. I certainly do. The author’s point seems to be that men like to be together without talking and women like to be together and talk. I don’t see this predominantly true of my husband and I. My husband and I have both enjoyed dates that involved very little talking (sitting quietly at the library looking through magazines we don’t usually buy) or a great deal of talking (our coffee dates). We both love to spend our evenings in the same room, but we are often doing different things. Right now I am sitting on the couch writing this and he is watching TV and we a sharing a bag of Doritos. This is a perfect and normal evening for us.

Chapter 21 Observations and Quotations

Sexuality – While I do not agree that every man fits into the stereotype of being a sexual aggressor, I think a great many men do. I have heard from enough women who are living with refusers that lack passion and desire to know that its very common for a husband to not fit into this mould. Having said that, I believe that what we can take from this chapter is that if you are married to one of the many men who IS highly sexual, offering yourself to him sexually is going to communicate to him that you value him.

I loved the story of the mother who confronted her daughter about withholding sex. Truly, even if you are not a highly sexual woman, it really does not take a lot of effort to engage with your husband sexually throughout the week. That doesn’t mean it won’t take some time to figure out issues like frequency and what goes on in bed, but generally being free with your sexuality towards your husband is an important part of respecting him and showing him that you are committed to him.

Sentence Starters

Finish the following sentence in the comment box:


The one song that always puts me “in the mood” is…


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