By the time this article is published, my DH and I will have returned from our family vacation. We, along with our kids, have made this a priority every year for the past 3 years. (This being our 4th) This year is very special to us though. During the middle of the vacation, we were afforded the opportunity to have a little romantic getaway without the kids.
I cannot possibly tell you how much these little getaways mean to me. When the kids were younger, I wouldn’t do it. I would think about the kids so much. Were they ok? Did they miss me? Did they NEED me? No one could replace me. No one could take care of the kids as well as I could. But what about my marriage? What about my husband? Didn’t he….didn’t WE deserve a chance to be the lovers we were meant to be?
You see, we were pregnant 5 months after we got married. We never really had the opportunity to explore our sexuality together before our son came. Our first anniversary was spent in Galveston and I was 7 months pregnant at the time. Kinda hard to enjoy yourself when you are that far along. It just went downhill from there. Baby cries all night, feedings in the middle of the night, not enough sleep, going back to work and the guilt of putting the baby in daycare….it went on and on. Our sex life didn’t….
So that is why this private time for us is so very important. We started making weekly date nights. The kids are old enough that we do our date while they are involved with Wednesday night activities at church. On occasion, we plan something on a Friday night. Our oldest is old enough to babysit, so we feel that our youngest is safe. I have to admit that I have finally allowed us to go for dates with him babysitting where we get in very late…. going to concerts across the border and driving home afterwards. I haven’t quite felt confident enough to let him babysit his sister overnight….not anything to do with my son, it’s still me. But my parents and my mother in law have been awesome about keeping both kids while we go spend time by ourselves. It is truly a blessing for us and our marriage.
Now, we’re back to work and the real world, trying to figure out how to have those date nights over the summer when church activities are done until the summer ends. It is so important for your marriage to find a way to have date nights. Do a babysitting swap with friends. Someone from church. A family member. Make sure that your priorities in life are (1) God (2) your spouse (3) your children and so forth…. Take my advice…it wasn’t fun when I put the kids before both my husband and God.
What are your experiences with dating your hubby or getaways just the two of you. How often do you date? Get away from it all?
Christian Nymphos 