Weekly Poll #104: At what age should you start filtering sexual innuendo around your children?


  1. We don’t filter out ‘all’ sexual innuendo for the simple reason that it is a beautiful and very natural part of married life. we believe that too much ‘hush hush’ spilt over from the ‘victorian’ era has lead to the wrong type of draw to sex.

    its more of a ‘in passing of convo’ stuff … similar to that of a driver’s licence (no pun intended) LOL … it will happen when its supposed to happen, when you are 16. same as with sex … it will happen when its supposed to happen … when you are married.

    we are very open with our children about all aspects of sex. in fact, my husband just planned a romantic getaway for us for a few days, and our kids (12 and 14) are very aware of what ‘romantic getaway’ means … and the reason we are leaving the house and going to a hotel.

  2. It depends on what you mean by filter. They type of innuendo has changed as they ahve gotten older but its still there. If you mean that then I would have to say by 4 or 5. Otherwise, it still happens.

  3. My husband and I have talked extensively about this, and we have decided to take a pretty liberal approach. We will make every effort to shield our children from gratuitous sex in the media, movies, and in the things we talk/joke about around them. However, when it comes to healthy, loving relationships we want to be able to use that to show humaan sexuality in a positive light. Example: They won’t be allowed to watch something like American Pie which is about sex for the sake of sex. But a movie that contains a love scene with two consenting adults is not an issue. More than sex children are exposed to so much violence. I would rather my child see two people loving each other than blowing one another up. Besides, I don’t want sex to be taboo at all.

  4. We have such a sexual society (and not in a positive way) that kids are being exposed to sexual content at such an early age. They start to become aware around age 5. I think that kids should be allowed to be kids for as long as possible, without adult sexuality tainting their view. It is important to talk to your kids at an early age to give them a positive view of sexual matters. I would keep my kids (who are now college age) from sexual content as much as possible, just because hollywood likes to corrupt at as early an age as possible, but that doesn’t prevent family or friends from exposing your kids. My in-laws let my kids watch “Nell” when I was at my dad’s funeral (they were ages 5,8 and 10). I was not happy when I found out.

  5. We still say some innocuous innuendo, but we keep it limited as we have a two year old who repeats EVERYTHING we say. All we need is to be over at the grandparents and have him repeat something inappropriate! LOL

  6. it all depends on the ages and the stages of the specific kids. We have always been physically affectionate, now more than ever but always G rated (hand holding, arm around the shoulder etc.) when there are kids/other people around. Our verbal flirting has most often been coupled with a look which conveys the majority of the meaning.

    Like “It’s clean sheet night!” is something I might say in front of the kids. But the same thing with a little smile and a wink means something else to DH.

    Our kids are older (16, 20 and 20) now and so we are more demonstrative in general. A while back we were all traveling together and the song “I Want to make You Close Your Eyes” came on. Totally out of character, my H started singing -LOUD and I joined in. We weren’t singing it to eachother per se but we were having a ball. The kids were laughing and complaining that we were ruining the song, not that we were being too overt.

    Now when we want to be more on the R rated side of things we use our phones and text and we LOVE doing that.

  7. I have no idea. I’ve seen stories of people who were very sheltered from sex who grew up to have great difficulty functioning sexually in their marriage. I’ve seen stories of people who were not sheltered from sex who also had major problems with sex as an adult. I always thought I was the happy medium (not sheltered from the knowledge of sex but choosing not to engage pre-maritally) and then I got married and sex has been one of the most devisive issues in my marriage. I thought sex would be fun and natural and instead found it was awkward, painful, and a lot of work. Thus I hang out on this website looking for inspiration to try again.

  8. I’m in your boat, Lisa. I always thought I was happy medium — knew it existed, was a good thing for marriage, chose not to participate prior to marriage, and then…… wow not what I expected! My problem I think has been that my DH and I traveled very different roads prior to our marriage and thus had very different expectations going in.
    This website has been a wonderful resource in healing and encouraging my intimacy with DH — keep reading!
    I am starting to think through what to tell my child(ren) — when we have kids. Its easy to think that I don’t want to repeat what my parents or in laws did, but then how does that translate into what to actually do is the problem.

  9. My husband and I want to start having children of our own soon as well, and we have talked a bit about this. It’ll be one thing we’ll sit down and discuss in further detail when he comes back. I want our kids to have a healthy view of sex and at the same time, encourage them to wait until marriage ’cause it’s so worth it :).

  10. As I’ve read all these replies it has caused me to reflect. Prior to having kids, there were a few innuendos around other family members but once the kids came the innuendos were not as frequent. Neither was sex. It has only been in the last couple of years that some of that has started again and our kids (22, 21, & 10) just roll their eyes at us and (the older two) tell us to take to the bedroom — or better yet, a hotel. (They are joking) But, they are learning that sexual intimacy DOES occur within marriage, and it is healthy within marriage and when engaged in outside of marriage causes hurt and regret. We have also been able to engage the older two in conversations regarding sexual intimacy and have discussed that for as important as it is for so many reasons, it can also be alot of fun! I was also a stay-at-home mom so when the boys (the two older) started the sex ed. classes at school, they would come home with their friends and the questions would start to fly. I answered their questions as bluntly and honestly as I could. Sexual innuendo between my husband and I at that point was NO fun because the kids would catch it all — and have more questions!

  11. Kid’s these days are extremely SMART! I was embarrassed a few weeks ago by my three year old daughter after the hubby and I had a quickie! I walked out the room while the hubby was still in the shower and she said to me “Ma, you and my daddy was “butt shaking!” The hubby thought it was hilarious, while I was turning red in the face from being embarrassed because she directed it to me and didn’t say anything to him.

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