Sentence Starters

Finish the following sentence in the comment box:

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No matter how many times I’ve seen my husband naked, I still love it when his __________ comes into my line of sight!

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How often should women have mammograms?

Article of reference is here at the ACOG site.

Every time I turn around, there are new recommendations about mammograms.   Some say not to start them until you are 50…some say not to start until you are in your 40’s, but only every 2-3 years.  Now in a recent article from the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologist has issued new guidelines for mammography screening.   They are recommending them being offered yearly starting at age 40.

When I was about 38-almost 39, my doctor started me with mammograms.  I didn’t have a history on my maternal side of the family, but my paternal grandmother had it, and it is possible that her mother had it as well.   I was told by my doctor that it was important to have them annually.  Now, I missed one or two myself.  I think I was supposed to have one last year, but my doctor’s office forgot to schedule it with me, and in my busyness, I never got back with them…. but about 2 years ago, I had my first scare… there was a spot on my mammogram film, and I had to have a sonogram done.  It ended up being dense breast tissue and nothing to be concerned about, but I know God and I spent A LOT of time together that day while waiting for my results!  I can’t imagine waiting until I was 50….

I digress…. back to the article.

Do you realize that while I was researching this article, there were websites that were saying that doctors shouldn’t teach their patients how to do breast self exams?  Are they crazy?  I had a friend DIE of breast cancer.  She found the lump in her MID 20’s by a breast self exam!  How would it be explained to her family if she died without ever knowing she had cancer?   That is just crazy in my opinion.

So what are your thoughts?  Have you had a mammogram?  When will you start if you haven’t?  Do you do breast self exams?   Do you know how?

Weekly poll #114: At what age did you start masturbating to orgasm?

Chapter 2: Lord, Cleanse me and make my heart right before you.

This chapter is going to be very useful to me as I apply it in my life.   As I read through this chapter several times, I realize that I think of myself as a good person.   My faith in the Lord is strong.  I have been told that I am “spiritually mature” in my outlook on life.   I know of one BIG sin in my life that I am confessing of and repenting of during this chapter, too.  It’s going to take some time talking to the Lord about it to get it taken care of.   But as Stormie mentioned in the chapter, I am one of those people that have a hard time seeing the small, hidden sins, and I am in great need of God bringing those forth so I can confess.

I can be very black and white at times, so I like to think that I have a good grasp on right and wrong.  With that in mind, here are some things that I picked up on in this week’s chapter…. First thing that I highlighted in my book “It’s realizing that you can’t make anything happen, but you can surrender your life to God and let Him make things happen.”   Try as I might in my daily life, I find that things usually work best when I include God in the plans.  His plans usually work much better than the things that I try to do on my own.   I am a type A, administrative type.   I am a doer.   I don’t like to sit back and wait for someone else to do it, especially at work.  I do it myself.   I need to spend some time with God, listening to His plan for my life, His plan for my work, His plans for me.    I need to stop doing and start being still and listening.

This makes me squirm… “In order to see positive changes happen in your life, you have to be open to the cleansing and stretching work of the Holy Spirit.”   Am I being deceived about myself and my life?  I think so.   I just can’t see it, but I can feel it…. that nagging sensation that there is something that I am just not seeing…. I guess that is the feeling I have been having lately…. the Spirit trying to stretch me and mold me.   Nudging me toward God to the next step….confessing.    I have no clue what sins are buried deep within me sometimes.  I feel the Spirit trying to flesh them out though.

But I finally realized that all sin is sin, so I confessed my resentment to God as sin – and the moment I did, the feeling of sickness in my body left. ”  I have a feeling that will be my testimony soon.

The concepts of confessing and repenting are lessons that I am working on with my daughter.   She can be one of those people who are “professional apologizers” and I am trying to work with her on her level of understanding about that repenting means intending to never do it again.   Not just saying sorry to be forgiven if you truly don’t feel sorry.   I liked when she said, “Repentance means being so deeply sorry for what you have done that you will do whatever it takes to keep it from happening again.”   When I confess, I truly feel that way.  I don’t want to do it again, and I try my hardest not to do it… my black and white kicks in.  When I know it is truly wrong, I know it and don’t want to do it again.

So, I am off to do some serious discussion with the Lord about what I need to know is in my heart that needs confessing.    What are your thoughts on this chapter?  What does it bring out for you?

Sentence Starters

Finish the following sentence in the comment box:

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Sometimes I steal my husband’s __________, but that’s okay because he frequently runs off with my __________.

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How to Discuss Sensitive Topics With Our Husbands

This article is going to need all of us ladies to band together and draw from our experiences in communication fails and triumphs. We can not avoid it. At times we are going to encounter problems in our marriages that we need to talk about openly with our husbands. And at times they are issues that could cause the conversation to turn south really fast if we are not mindful of some strategies for discussing sensitive topics in a way that encourage more talking rather than seeing us or our husbands shut down.

Maybe your husband needs to know that you need something particular in bed. Or that you need him to stop doing something particular in bed. Maybe there are issues in your finances or serious character issues that concern you. Whatever it is, there is a way that we as wives can do our part to bring these things up in a manner that is more likely to be well received. We can’t guarantee it of course. Our husbands are responsible for their own response, but there are some keys that make it work better.

The first thing I want to mention is the importance of picking your timing well. If he is in the middle of a project or watching something important to him on TV, that isn’t the time to bring up a problem. I used to be very unaware of this and have worked hard to be more intentional about when I bring things up that my husband and I need to discuss. My husband has taken the time to tell me how much he appreciates that I have grown in my discretion in this area so I know that it’s really meaningful to him.

The other thing that is very important is to take the time to think before you speak. We often end up reacting to problems the moment they pop up, but if we can train ourselves to hold our tongues, collect our thoughts and then speak, we often end up being able to respond more reasonably. I’ve found it really helpful to write out my thoughts ahead of time on very serious issues. It helps me process out a lot of the emotions so that when I talk to my husband I can focus more on the facts and present things in a way that makes more sense to him. I’ve noticed that so many of the movies I see which depict a romantic relationship are often missing this aspect of communication when the conflict in the movie meets the crisis point. Self control in conflict is completely disregarded, but I think controlling our tongue in conflict is incredibly important.

Without a doubt it is also important to take the time to pray for insight, especially if you need to bring up an issue that could be hurtful to him. We don’t want our words to tear him down and if we take time to pray I know that God gives us wisdom so that we can say things in ways that encourage him to consider how he can change. There was an issue a number of months ago that began concerning me about my husband so I began praying about it. God provided me a way to very gently mention it to my husband at just the right timing, when his heart was able to receive it. Since then I have seen God prompt people who knew nothing of the issue I was concerned about say something that reconfirms to my husband the importance of him paying attention to the problem I mentioned. Prayer makes a huge difference.

Our tone of voice is also very important. If we can remember to say things gently and with kindness, we will find that what we say is more readily received. Whether the issue is serious or mild, we have the choice to say things in a passive aggressive manner and rudely or we can choose to speak kindly. If in our hearts we already disrespect or despise our husband, that is going to come across in how we say things. We can’t expect him to receive what we are saying if underneath our words, our tone communicates a poor heart condition on our part. And we won’t be able to hide that so take the time to deal with issues of the heart as they come up.

And that brings me to my final point. If you have a habit of sweeping things under the rug because you have a hard time dealing with conflict, you can be sure that those bad roots of anger, bitterness and unforgiveness are going to cause bad fruit in our relationship. A lot of the time we will not even see the connection between a hurt we have in our hearts and a bad reaction we had to something external, but very often there are indeed connections between these kinds of things. So have courage and deal with the stuff in your heart. Bring your hurts to Jesus and let him begin healing the broken parts of your heart.

So how about you? These are my top suggestions for how to deal with sensitive issues with your husband. What have you found to be effective? I’d love to hear from you.

Weekly poll #113: Exes and social media

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