Summertime at Christian Nymphos

Hello ladies!  Just a quick note letting you all know of some summer changes that will be going on here on CN.

School is out and for many of us that can mean that we are now home with the kids all summer.  If you are like us then you are trying to find day trips and activities that can help with summer boredom!  We also seem to have extra birthday parties and family events during the summer, as well as vacations.  With all of this going on, we have decided to scale back a little for the months of July & August.  We will be going to a 3day/week format as follows:

Monday- Monday’s Mission

Wednesday- Poll

Friday- Sentence Starters

Our new feature “Sentence Starters” will debut on Friday, July 2nd (next Friday) and we are hoping you will like it!  Like our polls, it will invite you to participate and interact with each other and us.  We will put up a sentence and you will be asked to either fill in the blank or finish the sentence in the comment section.  Some will be light hearted and others more thought provoking, but our goal is to get you thinking!

Once September begins, we will bring back our regular articles and Q&A’s, so please feel free to continue to email us with any questions or suggestions for topics that you’d like to see us write about.  Thank you so much for your support and dedication to our blog, and we wish you all a very happy and blessed summer!

Women, We Have Heard You – Part Two

Two weeks ago we published this article and asked our female readers for feedback on whether or not they would like to continue to see comments from men on the CN blog. We are thankful that by and large most people were very respectful of other’s opinions and for all the points that were made. We privately discussed the ideas you presented and have prayerfully considered all the opinions expressed.

There seemed to be a lot of concern regarding the simple fact that men are reading a website that has a focused ministry towards women so please understand that our new policy on comments from men is not going to change the fact that a large percentage of men are reading our blog. We think our blog helps most men in healthy marriages to have a better understanding of their wives so we bless that they are reading here. The insight they will gain is going to end up being a blessing to their wives. For those men who are reading here with a covetous heart that they do not have a wife who desires sex, we can not manage their sin for them, but we will restrict their ability to voice their grief here and direct them to appropriate avenues.

There was also some discussion around whether or not the opinion of another man is at all helpful for ladies to understand their own husband. Some were adamant that they only want the opinion of their husband.  Others who are in conflict with their husband or who simply value the opinions of many like hearing the perspective of another man.  While our blog has always been focused on ministering to women, we have never banned comments from men for this reason.

We thought the suggestion of having a separate area for men’s comments was a good one. We discussed this option and realized that since the format of our website is a WordPress blog, it would be complicated, take too much extra time and add confusion.

The most helpful comment that was made regarding the negative consequences of a complete ban of men’s comments was this one:

Even if the men can’t comment, you bet they’re still reading the things you put down. And the very dishonest ones can easily pretend they are women if they want to. So what will we accomplish? We will exclude the honest men who have meaningful additions to the conversation, and the perverts will still get in.

On the other side, one woman made this comment, which struck the heart of the issue for us:

Thanks ladies….This makes me feel a little safer and more free to participate. I, for one, have not participated recently, due to so many men commenting…It was just over a line for me. If I wanted that kind of communication, I know there are other resources – just look at your blogroll – for that. I appreciate the time, effort, thought and prayer you ladies put into this site!!!

After considering all of the points, we have made a decision. We couldn’t possibly have pleased everyone who expressed their opinion so we didn’t even try. We considered all that the women shared in light of our heart for this ministry and came up with this policy that we have peace about:

  • Comments from men will now be moderated on a case-by-case basis.
  • Most comments from men will be deleted, particularly if they are graphic in nature, argumentative, negative or disruptive to our mission.
  • If a man’s comment contains information that is presented in a positive and supportive way and that is a truly unique perspective we might approve it.

Here are some examples of comments from men that will no longer be published:  “I really like this position of the week and will ask my wife to try it soon!”  “Thanks for this review.  My wife and I have been wondering about this book.”  “I really like it when my wife dresses sexy for me.  It heightens our date night!” Each of these comments is rather tame and nice, but do not share a unique perspective that is absolutely helpful to our women readers.  In simpler terms, we will no longer allow our blog to become cluttered with mundane comments from men. We decided to make this decision retroactive, meaning that we have spent hours pouring over all comments made from men since the beginning of our blog.  Those comments that do not fit with our new guidelines have been deleted, so most men will find their comments have been greatly reduced.

We ask that you respect our decision and if you no longer wish to participate because of our policy on comments from men, then we bless you to continue on your journey from here. If for some reason you need to contact us regarding this decision you can do so through our Got Questions? page.

Women, We Have Heard You

An increasing number of women are telling us that the comments from the men are really interrupting their sense of community with the other women at our blog. We know that we can’t stop anyone from reading our public blog and if the men can take the ideas we have posted here and use them for the benefit of their own marriage then we bless that, but we are going to temporarily stop approving comments from the men and we want to hear from the ladies as to whether or not you would like it to continue. It has been the opinion of the CN writers that the comments from the men can be helpful, but seeing as we are here as a ministry to the ladies, we want to take this action in order to serve the women we are primarily focused on ministering to.

So for the next two weeks no comments will be approved from men. At that point, once we have heard from enough of you as to whether or not this action is beneficial to what you are looking for from our blog, then we will make a decision as to whether or not we will allow comments at all from men and perhaps introduce more stringent requirements for which comments we approve from men if the ladies give us feedback that they want a bit of the male perspective on the blog.

So ladies, please post your opinion in the comment section below. Thank you!

*CN News*

Back in November we were approached by Eryn-Faye Frans, and asked to write a guest article for her blog.  (For those of you unfamiliar with her click on her name.)  She enthusiastically works to help married couples with “Commitment, Communication, and Consummation!”  She has a lot on her plate right now with her website, blog, and new book coming out, so she decided to ask a few people if they’d be willing to write guest articles for her.  We feel so honored that she thought of us!  She asked for something written on the subject of Anal Sex, so Cumingirl went to work in December to put something together for her.  On this past Monday she announced to her readers that she would be featuring a couple guest writers each month.  Click here to see where she introduced us! So bookmark her site not only for her wealth of information on marital intimacy, but also so you can check out Cumingirl’s article on Tuesday, January 12th!

And now on to another subject… There seems to be some confusion lately as to comments left on our blog and the moderation of them.  We have moderation cut on.  That means that comments you leave will NOT be visible to our readers until we physically get online ourselves and approve them. However, when you leave a comment, it appears that it is immediately published, and then 15 minutes later disappears.  We assume that WordPress has it set up that way just so that you can see what your comment will look like when it’s published.  You’ll be able to see if you made any spelling mistakes or if your comment made sense.  It is only visible by you for that 15 or so minutes, and then it disappears until one of us three has the free time to get online and moderate comments.  Sometimes it happens quickly (if one of us is online at the time you leave your comment) and sometimes it may be hours before one of us is online.  If you leave a comment that isn’t helpful or that contains inappropriate language/content, then we simply delete it, and no one ever sees it.  We wanted to take this opportunity to try and explain this to everyone, and hopefully this has cleared up any misunderstandings out there.

What’s New In 2010?

We are posting today to let you all know that we will be taking a break from our Friday Position of the Week feature. We chose to end it at position #99 for now.  We have thoroughly enjoyed researching and trying out all of these new positions along the way and hope that you will keep coming back to our Position Page any time you need inspiration or fresh ideas for something new.  It may be that we decide to pick up where we left off and continue with more positions at a later date, or our future may go in a totally different direction altogether.  But for now, we will be ceasing this weekly feature.

While we have your attention, let us take this opportunity to announce our new Friday feature, which will be replacing the POTW.   Next  Friday, January 8th, we will start:  Your Questions Answered!  (Q&A for short) Fridays will now be reserved for us to answer your email questions!  We get so many questions in each week.  We decided that it would be nice to have one day set aside to publish your questions, our answers, and to invite discussion in the comment section.  Sometimes a question comes in that needs more help and advice than what we have to offer.  For those questions that need professional input, we are so happy to announce that Lauren Jordan, Licensed Clinical Social Worker & Certified Sex Therapist, has agreed to be a consultant for us! If you missed our interview with her, then please read it and familiarize yourself with her.  Her website is also at the bottom of our blogroll to the right of every page.  We are thankful to her for lending us her experience and expertise.  So make sure that you tune in on Fridays for Your Questions Answered!”

Also, please be sure and check out our new homepage! We’ve worked to condense it a bit and make it more aesthetically pleasing.  We are constantly thinking and planning and trying to make our blog the best resource it can be for married women everywhere.  Thank you for being our loyal readers and contributors and we hope and pray that 2010 will become a wonderful and blessed year for us all!

CinnamonSticks’ Pick

As I thought about which article I wanted to revisit this week I thought about which of my articles challenged me the most personally, so I picked Attitude Is Everything. Hopefully through the article and conversations in the comment section that follow it we can give you some encouragement if it’s an issue for you.

Spicynutmeg’s Pick

While going back through all of my blog posts in the past year, it was really a tough to choose just one.  But there is one that I really love to go back and read myself.  On March 24, I posted Is There Power in Prayer?  I have seen the power in God’s answers to my prayers, and so in the upcoming year, I hope it can be a reminder to you to take all your needs to God, no matter how big or small.  He is listening and wants to bless your life, your marriage and your marriage bed.  All he’s waiting for is for you to ask.  May God bless you abundantly in the New Year!

If  you have a comment about that article, please leave it on that article instead of this one.  Thanks!

Cumingirl’s Pick

In looking back at my own past articles on here, I realized pretty quickly which one I wanted to repost.  We had a woman to write in to us, asking us how in the world we had all the energy and time to have sex as often as we do, which she thought was daily, by the sound of our posts! 😆   I was glad that she wrote in, because it gave us a chance to clear up some misconceptions.

So my pick of the week is:  How do the CN girls do it?

If  you have a comment about that article, please leave it on that article instead of this one.  Thanks!

Christmas Break

We want to wish all of our readers a Very Merry Christmas! Thank you for the encouragement that you have shown us and for all the ideas you share on our blog.

We will be taking a break over Christmas to spend time with our families and celebrate the season. We’ll look forward to publishing articles again next week.

Sex As We Age: Introduction

I am going to be conducting a series of interviews with women who are more mature in age in hopes that those of us who are younger can catch a glimpse into some of the things that we might encounter in our marriage beds as we get older. Every woman will answer the same set of questions and you will find it interesting to see how unique the circumstances might be.

So stay tuned for these interviews to be salted  in with our other articles in the coming months.

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