There He Blows!

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So, you are giving oral sex to your husband and you are almost at the finish line. He is giving you the signs that he is almost at climax. What do you do? There are several options here to choose from, and we’re going to talk about each one.

Before you start oral sex, make sure that both you and your husband know how you plan to end it. You should talk to him before hand and let him know what you are and are not comfortable with. If you are newly married, don’t expect yourself to be able to jump right in swallowing from the start. You may need to ease into things and see how it goes. I applaud you for blessing your husband with the gift of oral sex at all! So talk to him and let him know what you are thinking. When he comes, you will both benefit from knowing what to do at that point.

If you are new to oral sex you may not wish to swallow your husband’s semen at first. This is perfectly fine. In fact, I think it may even be better if you don’t the first few times. Instead, watch it! Yes, I’m serious. When your husband is ready to explode, move out of the way and watch it squirt out. If he is on his back, just continue to pump him with your hand while he comes and you’ll see it land on his own body. It’s highly erotic to watch and it will get you used to seeing it. You can easily clean him up with a hand towel or washcloth.

Then think about letting him come on you. (No, it’s not a sin.  For more information check out Where the Semen Goes.)My husband loves for me to give him oral sex and then stop just at the point of orgasm. Then either he or myself will continue to pump him with our hands while he comes on my breasts or neck or even my face. If he is aiming for your breasts, again I encourage you to watch him come! This will help to get you used to seeing it and feeling it. Scoop some up with your finger and give it a little taste!

Another option is to get him to orgasm and then open your mouth and stick out your tongue. Let his come hit you on the tongue and kind of run back out. Many men find it extremely erotic to see their semen running out of the mouth of their wife. You can let it drizzle out the corner, or drip off your tongue and down your chin. It’s almost a creative way of “spitting,” because you aren’t actually swallowing any of it. You are just using it as a nice visual for your hubby. Again, a washcloth is all that’s needed for clean up.

If you absolutely cannot handle the previous paragraph, then spitting into a Kleenex or towel afterwards is also an option. If your husband comes in your mouth, you can just hold it there until he is finished, and then discreetly deposit it into a cloth. He may not even notice, and the fact that you let him finish inside your mouth at all may be more important to him than you actually swallowing.

I’ll add here that you can also give oral sex with a condom on your husband. They make some nice flavored ones now that don’t have that yucky latex taste to them. If you do it this way, you do decrease the feelings and sensations that your husband is getting, but he will be able to come into the condom when he is finished. Very quick clean up.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to swallow. Talk to your husband and find out how important it is to him. Find out which “finish” he thinks he would like the best and then go from there. Sometimes you may need to reach a happy medium by compromising. If you do want to try and learn to swallow, then I encourage you to read my next article: Drinking Him Down. I’ll give some tips and tricks that may make it easier for you. Above all, just keep oral sex fun, no matter how you and your husband decide to end things.

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Drinking Him Down

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So what exactly is that white stuff that comes shooting out of my husband’s penis? Have you ever wondered that? Seminal fluid consists mainly of water, minerals, sugars, proteins, sperm, and other various nutrients. You are ingesting most of those things daily anyway. Well, except for the sperm. Women usually have two major problems with swallowing their husband’s load: taste and texture. Let’s look at both these issues.

I have asked women what they think semen tastes like, and I have gotten many different answers. The most common things women say is that it is salty, bitter, metallic, and reminds them of Clorox. Doesn’t sound very flattering, does it? Well, I am of the belief that all men taste different, and diet can have somewhat of an impact on how a man’s seminal fluid tastes. I have read that it will taste stronger or heavier if a man is a heavy meat eater. I’ve also read that you can improve the taste by asking your man to cut down on the amount of meat (particularly red meat) that he eats, while increasing the amount of fruits and veggies that he is consuming. I have heard women swear that pineapple juice works wonders. But if you expect to see results from this, he needs to be drinking pineapple juice in large quantities, not just a glass with dinner. If you would like more specific information, then you can check out this link: Sperm Taste – 10 Simple Tips For Better Tasting Semen. You may wish to print it out and have your husband read it with you. I remember the day my husband came home with a 64oz can of pineapple juice and a smile. I laughed because I knew exactly what he had in mind.

As for the texture, I’m not sure there is much help for that. Semen is kind of thick for a reason, and it really can’t be thinned out too much. Some women have described it as being like”mucus” because of its consistency. Again, that’s not very flattering. I’ve heard that having the man drink large amounts of water may possibly thin it out a tiny bit, but I’m not really sure how accurate that is.

Your husband may secrete some pre-ejaculatory fluid that is clear or colorless. It is usually secreted during intercourse, and helps to aid in lubrication. I have found it to be sweeter in taste and I actually look forward to seeing it, because it means that my husband is very turned on!

Okay, so now we’re ready to think about the physical act of swallowing. If you are still reading this, I am going to assume that you’d like to do so. I will tell you that years ago I really did not care much for swallowing myself. I thought it was odd tasting. I didn’t really have the best attitude about sex at the time though. Sometimes I’d swallow and then go running to the kitchen for a Dr. Pepper to wash the taste out. Sometimes I’d get up and spit it into the sink in the bathroom, or into a towel by the bed, and then go running into the kitchen for a Dr. Pepper to wash the taste out! The first thing that changed with me was my attitude towards sex. When I had my sexual awakening, my attitude about everything sexual changed. The way I viewed his penis changed, and the way I viewed his ejaculate changed as well. Since then, I’ve not minded the taste at all!

If the taste is what is keeping you from swallowing, there are a couple of tips I have to share with you. You could try to use flavored lube. You could also chew three or four altoids or cough drops beforehand. Another idea would be to gargle with Scope or Listerine just before you start oral sex. All of these things will help to mask the flavor of his semen, thus making it easier to swallow.

Now, when he is getting ready to orgasm, and you know it is coming soon, try to take him deeper into your mouth. If you have a really bad gag reflex, you may want to think about using Good Head. You apply a good-sized amount on your finger and place it on the far back roof of your mouth, then swallow it. It will coat your uvula and numb it so that you don’t gag. (If you don’t have this readily available you may want to try that Chloraseptic throat spray because it also numbs the back of your throat, just don’t use too much, because it can also numb his penis too!) If you can take him in deeper, then when he comes, it will squirt to the back of your throat and bypass your tongue and taste buds. You can just immediately swallow.

If you can’t take him in deeper, then you will need to decide if you want to swallow a little at a time (after each squirt) or just once. Some women say it’s better to just catch it in your mouth and wait until he gets it all finished, and then swallow one time. This is what I usually do. It helps if you just relax and let it happen. If you get all nervous and tense, then you could end up gagging or getting choked. So just relax and be ready for it. If you do it this way, then you can also open your mouth a little after it is all collected, and let him see it before it goes down. Many men say this is a major turn on.

If you have tried many of the suggestions above, and you still can’t seem to get used to swallowing, don’t get discouraged. I’m sure your husband will say that this is not the most important thing in your marriage, right? You are doing a wonderful thing by blessing him with oral sex, period. You can practice when you feel like it, and when you don’t feel like it; you know that there are alternatives. You shouldn’t feel pressured to swallow just because your friends do or because you read somewhere that all men secretly want that. The truth is that most men care more about the oral sex than they do about how it ends. So communicate with your husband and discuss this issue together.

Make this fun and exciting and something you two can experiment with and practice together. A positive outlook can make tons of difference. If any of these ideas help you, please write to us and let us know! We love hearing success stories!

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Pleasing Your Wife

If you were to go to a dinner party would you just plop down and start stuffing your face? I’m going to assume that as you are reading this you are shaking your head no. First you would let the hostess know how thankful and excited you are to be there. Apply these same rules when engaging in cunnilingus. Let your wife know that: 1.you enjoy going down on her just as much as she enjoys receiving it, 2. There is no rush. You would stay there all day if she would let you, 3. That you love her scent and taste. These three rules will help your wife let go of her inhibitions thus making it easier to focus on the wonderful sensations you are giving her.

Now if her scent and/or taste bother you there are some steps we can take to try and diminish that as much as possible. You could try to encourage her to shower or bath before hand, you could try using a flavored lubricant or you could always try using a dental dam. Glyde “LOLLYES” is highly recommended for oral use. They come scented, colored and transmit sensation very well. You can find them at sheerglydedams or blowfish. One last thing before we get started, learn how her body responds to different stimuli. When we are in the heat of things it’s hard for me to verbally tell him where to go or what to do. Well, unless you are in a verbal mood and then there is no problem telling him exactly what you want him to do. More often he can reads your groans, moans and breathing. You can even grab a hold of his head just to make sure he does not change a thing.

For all the women out there you too can make this experience more enjoyable for your man. Praise him. Let him know how much you love and crave the feel of his tongue on you. Make sure you keep yourself clean.  If you are looking for more details on how to shave this area you may want to check out cumingirl’s “Pubic Shaving: for Women” thread. Another thing that you can do is “accidentally” graze his penis with your leg or whatever is readily available. You will most likely see a very positive reaction.

I strongly believe that variety is the spice of life. Try different techniques and see how she responds. You can be my guest to use this as a sort of guide. Be sure to create some sexual tension throughout the day. When you are ready to get started, make sure that you are both comfortable. He could be there for awhile and it would be a major bummer if you were at the edge of an orgasm and your husband suddenly developed a neck cramp. Have him start with some long, rhythmic ice cream licks. Then he can insert his finger or toy into your vagina while his focus starts to zone in on your clitoris. At this time what he does may varies. The one thing that is constant is that he should make you feel like you are the most delicious thing he has ever placed his lips on.

I’ll go over some various tongue techniques that are discussed in, “She Comes First” by Ian Kerner. A flat tongue technique allows you to grind into him and it allows him a breather without loosing your connection.  Diagonal or horizontal strokes may be added in now. Make sure he goes over your clitoral head as he does this. Remember to do one or the other, don’t alternate one of this and one of that and really drag that tongue!! If you are getting tired revert back to the flat tongue technique until you are ready to go again. The “cat lick” is a series of short but precise licks all over the vulva. First avoiding the clitoris and then with more arousal comes more attention to the clitoris. “Follow the leader” lick is a nice different feel. Have your index finger follow the path of your tongue. Now for a biggie, “the suction cup”. He encloses his mouth over your entire clitoris and gently sucks while using his tongue at the same time. This is when most women do not want there husband to change a thing!!

Speaking of not changing a thing, if you are about to climax instruct him to not speed things up!!!! Just keep that steady pace and you will be sent over the edge.  Here are some tell tale signs of an orgasm. The vagina may throb like a beating heart, muscles tighten (especially legs), breathing quickens, body may become flushed and you may start yelling out phrases you never thought you would hear come out of your mouth.

There are those rare occasion where an orgasm just is not in the cards. Those experiences are just as meaningful as the ones that do end with an orgasm or two. It still feels incredible and it fills your visual rolodex.  One of the most giving, unselfish, loving things a husband can do is to perform cunnilingus on his wife. Remember that if one technique does not work on a given night it may work later down the road. Enjoy your journey and happy travels!!!!!

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Tasting His Fruit

I very much LOVE to give oral sex to my husband. It’s often the center of my fantasies during the day, and when he gets home I tell him I can’t wait to put the kids to bed and taste him! It’s a big turn on to myself as well and will definitely put me in the mood for other things.

Cinnamonsticks has already posted a brilliant introduction on oral sex. I’m going to follow with some specific suggestions of things you can try. So let’s talk about giving oral sex to our husbands! I have had countless women ask me how in the world to get started. Newlyweds tend to be a little shy about oral. Let me give a few pointers to any beginners reading this.

My absolute favorite position for performing OS on my husband is him standing beside the bed and me kneeling on the floor. He then will lift one leg and put that knee up on top of the bed, so that he is opened up, so to speak. This way, I have TOTAL FREE ACCESS to all parts that need my attention. This is great for the both of us. You may prefer for your husband to sit in a chair or lay on the bed. Some positions are easier on the neck.

Go down and lick his thighs lightly, to make him anticipate what you are going to do. Slowly spread his legs and start by licking his balls. Roll them all around and get them lubed up with your tongue. You can gently be stroking his penis if you want….but nothing hard….because you are almost teasing him, making him WANT your mouth on him BADLY. Gently suck one of his balls into your mouth and caress it with your tongue. Be careful with your teeth. Then do the other one. Make sure that you lick all around his testicles, including the area just under them between his testicles and his anus. That patch of skin is called the perineum. Many men love having this area of skin licked or stroked.

Okay, so when you have worked him up, and he is really wanting you to take him fully into your mouth, then start going upward, licking his shaft with your whole tongue as if it were an ice-cream cone. When you get to the head, circle it a few times and then take it shallowly into your mouth a couple times. Then stop and make eye contact with him. Let him know that the fun is just starting. This would also be a great time to talk dirty to him or say something like: I love the taste of your ______. Then take him into your mouth as far as you are comfortable with. You can use your hand to grab hold of the base of his penis…and hold it in place while you are taking him in and out of your mouth. There is NO RULE that says you have to go super fast at this. I wouldn’t go slowly, but you don’t have to act like you are sprinting towards the finish line. Moan and allow your mouth to make wet sounds…he’ll like this. Look up at him from time to time. If you can, you could use your other hand to fondle his balls at the same time, or caress his anus. (Many Many men really like that. Just find out if he does, or you can do like I did….I just did it one day without asking, and although he was embarrassed about it afterwards, he admitted that it felt AWESOME to have his anus rubbed)

Anyway, if you can find a rhythm, then let your hand and your mouth work together. With your hand wrapped firmly around his penis, take your mouth all the way down to where it is touching your hand, then when you are coming back up, just bring your hand back up with you. See if you can keep your lips touching your own thumb and finger at all times. That way, your hand is almost like an extension of your mouth (instead of two separate things) and your mouth and hand will be working together to bring him there….and if you have him lubed up pretty good, he may not be able to tell where your mouth ends and your hand begins.

While you are doing this, you can be using your tongue to make swirling motions on the underside of his shaft. Especially when you are coming up and your mouth is right on the underside of his head, because that is an especially sensitive area on him. You can make your tongue go back and forth or if you want some creativity, you can try to do a figure 8.

If you get tired it is okay to remove your mouth and take a break. Continue with your hands though…..one pumping him up top and the other down below fondling and caressing him. Again, if he is into dirty talk, then use this time to talk to him. Tell him things and ask him if he likes what you are doing to him. speed up as you know he is nearing the finish line and try to get your mouth back into rhythm with your hand again. Make sure that you are pumping him with a firm hand stroke. Some women do not hold a man’s penis very firmly. They think they will hurt him or it’s fragile or something. But, if you don’t pump him firmly enough, it may take him longer to get there. So make sure you have your entire hand (all your fingers) wrapped around him.

Find out how he likes to finish the best. If he really likes it when you swallow, then towards the end, tell him that you want to swallow his come. Tell him you can’t wait until he explodes in your mouth. That may be a huge turn on for him to hear and may help to get him over that edge of climax.

There are some things that can give oral sex a different feeling for your husband! Try chewing up several altoids right before you go down on him. He may get a new sensation from it. I’ve heard from a couple ladies that a small piece of ice will help too, although my husband doesn’t care for that one.

If you are worried about the taste, either of the lube or his come, then you may benefit from flavored lube. There are several good flavored ones out there. I personally love caramel.

If you have a quick gag reflex, then you may want to think about trying some Good Head. You put some on your index finger and stick it on the back roof of your mouth. Then you swallow. It coats your uvula and numbs it, making it easy for you to take your husband’s penis deeper, and you don’t gag!

Once you find out the things that he does like and the things that he does not care for, then you will be able to get him there faster and you will feel more confident in your abilities. For a more in depth look at how to finish your husband, read There He Blows!

So come on ladies! Let’s all decide to taste our husband’s fruit this week!

Oral Sex: Spice or Sin?

Did you grow up in a family or church that taught that oral sex was a sin? That it is dirty? That good girls don’t do that? Many people in the church did. We’re here to tell you that not only is it an amazing expression of love for your husband (many husbands love both giving and receiving oral sex), but the Bible also seems to allude to oral sex as something that it is expected to be part of the sexual relationship between a husband and a wife. Consider these verses taken from the Song of Solomon:

“Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.”

“Awake, O north wind, and come, wind of the south; make my garden breathe out fragrance. Let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits!

The poetic language of Song of Solomon seems to imply that the bride and groom were both giving and receiving oral sex. I have also understood from several sources that Song of Solomon was given to Hebrew newlyweds as a sex guide. When you read Song of Solomon, notice that the Shulamite woman is not shy in her passion for her man. She has given herself fully in her love for him.

If you grew up with the idea that oral sex was a sin or dirty, or if you were sexually abused, it may be difficult for you to be comfortable pleasing your husband with oral sex let alone actually enjoying it. But if you have not been comfortable with oral sex until this point and it is something you wish to include in your marriage, there are ways to become comfortable with it.

First, pray. Ask Jesus to give you His revelation to see your sexual relationship with your husband, and specifically oral sex, as He does. Ask Him to lift off anything you feel is keeping you from enjoying this as part of your marriage bed. Guilt. Shame. Disrespect. Ask Him to heal you from past hurts which rise up in you when you participate in oral sex. He wants to bring freedom to you in every way.

Second, start small. A little kiss on the head of his penis or a lick down the shaft might be a good start. Sometimes you might need to mentally prepare yourself, or you may be better off if you just do it as soon as you think about it without putting too much thought into it. So start off small and just add to it as you feel comfortable. Find a position that is comfortable for you. Often having your husband lay on the bed is a good one to start with.

Third, let him know that you would like to incorporate oral sex more into your love making and I can assure you he will do all he can to cooperate with you. As you feel comfortable in offering your husband more than a kiss and a brief lick, if your senses are turned off by it, surprise him when he is fresh from the shower or with a small candy in your mouth (something minty could give him an extra nice sensation), or with a flavored lube or chocolate. (Just avoid intercourse until after the chocolate is washed off if you are sensitive to getting UTIs as the sugar may contribute to one.)

Finally, realize that there are no rules about this. You don’t have to do any of this, but it is a wonderful way to add spice and variety and intimacy to your relationship in the bedroom. Just do what you feel comfortable with now and stretch yourself as you can.

For those of you who have come to a place where you are enjoying oral sex as a regular part of your love making already and you are looking for a way to spice it up I humbly bow out and offer you our very own Cumin Girl, who is the most brilliant “how to” writer I know when it comes to all things sexy.

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