Giving a Sensual Massage

We’ve talked about giving a sensual massage and mentioned it in several different places on our blog, but I don’t think we have any kind of how-to written about it.  My husband and I have done this for each other a few times, and it’s so nice.  We both really enjoy giving and receiving.  I’m going to outline how I’ve done this for my husband in the past so that any of you who haven’t yet done this can get an idea of how it could go.

It’s important to have a soft and secure environment for this type of thing.  You don’t want interruptions from kids or cell phones.  You want a nice place for him to lie down, and it is a good idea if you protect that place with plastic or an extra blanket that you don’t mind getting massage oils on.  You can easily purchase a cheap shower liner that would work perfectly, if you wanted to drape it over your bed.  Then I’d suggest placing a soft blanket on top of that for your dh to lie on.  This could also be done on the floor/sofa in front of a fireplace, or where ever else you and your dh find to be a soft, sensual, calm environment.

Have a table nearby with everything ready to go.  You will need to decide which type of massage oil you want to use beforehand, and whether or not you want to heat it up a little in the microwave.  I prefer using Coconut Oil myself, and I do melt it in the microwave and make it nice and warm.  Have a bath towel and hand towel available.  If you want to go the extra mile, then have your dh a glass of wine (or his favorite beer) to sip on.  You can also get a satin blindfold (think sleep mask- available at most stores) for him to wear if you want him to really be able to block out the world and heighten his physical touch.  Decide if you want a certain type of music playing in the background.  Decide what you will be wearing (if anything) and what you want the rules to be.  Ex:  He can’t touch you even if he wants to.

Have your dh strip naked and lie face down first.  You can use the bath towel to drape over his rear to start out with.  This isn’t supposed to be overtly sexual, just sensual, and you don’t want to distract yourself too early!  Drizzle some oil on his shoulders& neck.  Start massaging at his neck and move outward to his shoulder and all the way down his arm into his hand and each individual finger.  Don’t rush…take your time and really apply enough pressure to work his muscles over.  Repeat on the other shoulder, arm, hand.

Then go back to his shoulders and start working your way down his back (applying more oil when necessary).  Make sure you span his entire back, including his sides.  It may be helpful to straddle him and sit on his rear.  At this point you can remove the towel and drizzle oil on his bottom.  If you were straddling him then simply move down to his legs as you start to massage his buttocks.  It’s up to you how intimate you want to make this part.

After placing the towel back over his bum, move to his legs and you are going to do them one at a time just as you did his shoulders & arms.  Start with one thigh and work your way down to his calf, ankle, foot, and toes.  Be careful if he is ticklish…you don’t want to ruin the aura!  Repeat with his other leg.

This would be the intermission.  Offer him some of his wine/beer/cheese and tell him you are ready for him to flip over so that you may work on his front.  Replace the bath towel over his yummy bits.

Do the exact same thing you did to his back side, to his front side.  You may want to start off with his face though, gently massaging his facial muscles and ears.  Move to his neck and down both arms.  Massage his chest and belly, being careful to not tickle.  If your dh has an area of his body that is just extremely ticklish then you may need to skip that area.

At this point I would advise that you massage all around his yummy bits, but do not remove the towel and do not touch him.  It may be better to use a smaller hand towel on him now, so that you can massage his upper thigh areas better.  If you want to ‘accidentally-on-purpose’ allow your hand to graze by his penis that’s up to you, but try to work on finishing the massage before delving fully into sexual acts!  Work down both front legs all the way to his toes, just like you did from the back.  At this point his whole body should feel nice and relaxed.

It’s at this point where you can remove his blindfold if he has one on.  You can also remove your clothes if you have any one.  If you have decided that this will end with just a massage then his session is over.  If you have decided that you want this to end with a sexual encounter, then now is the time to move over into that arena.  You can then straddle him and remove the towel covering his loins.  Drizzle more oils on him and start working your magic on his manhood.  I’m sure you two can take it from here.

Of course you can change up any of this that you need to in order to suit your needs.  I’ve found that I have one very satisfied husband when I finish.  And of course, your husband can also follow the same steps and return the favor to you either on the same night (if you decided on a couple’s massage) or on a totally different night.  If any of you decide to do this, please let us know how it goes!

Passionate Bedrooms

I love my bedroom.  I knew when we first got married that one day I wanted to have a purple bedroom.  Not a nice cool lavender color, but a deep, dark, passionate purple!  I couldn’t wait to get to work when we bought our house!  My husband went with me to the paint store and laughed when I showed him the color I wanted, but he went with it and now he loves it too!

And did I mention our king sized bed?  That was another thing that I always wanted… a very tall king bed that I almost need a step stool to get up into.  So needless to say, I was thrilled when we went to pick out our new bedroom suite!  We have a huge, soft, down comforter and several purple throw pillows to match our walls.  In fact, we have 10 pillows on our bed (when all of the throw pillows are on there).

We have small candles on our dressers and night stands, and we also have a nice pear scented spray called “Between the Sheets” that we sometimes spray on our sheets that is soothing and nice to smell.  I have found that certain aromas can certainly be a real turn on.

We don’t have a fancy canopy bed with curtains or anything, but what we do have works for us.  I love my bedroom.  I love that it has always been a ‘kid free zone.’  (Our kids are not allowed in our bedroom at any time.)  I love our oversized comfortable bed, all of our pillows, our mirrors, our purple walls, and our private bathroom.  It’s exactly what we need.  It works for us.

So tell me… what makes your bedroom work for you?  What makes it passionate?

Winter Dates

We already have an article on the importance of taking the time to have date nights with your husband, but I wanted to take some time to discuss together ideas for winter dates. For me, I have so many more things that I enjoy to do in the warmer weather and also many of them are free, which I like. 😀 But winter dates are important too. What are some free or inexpensive winter date ideas apart from eating out and/or going to the movies. That is always our default and honestly we do it because it’s fun for us, but it’s also easy.

Some of the other things we have enjoyed when the colder weather is less conducive to being outdoors are:

  • going to the library and sitting quietly together while flipping through magazines.
  • driving through different neighbourhoods to get ideas on how to landscape or renovate our home.
  • bundling up and walking through a park.

What are some fun, creative winter dates you have shared with your husband which haven’t cost much (under $30)? My husband and I are out of our dating routine right now and I am looking for ideas on how we get our dating groove back. 🙂 Maybe you are too and we can get some ideas from one another.

Daytime Dates

For us, it’s hard getting a sitter for our kids.  Both sets of grandparents live out of town, although we do use them from time to time.  We don’t have other extended family members nearby and we just don’t feel right leaving them with the neighbors.  While we do ship the kids off to grandma’s house to spend the night every couple of months, we sometimes feel like we need some quality time together in between those times.  We have found something that works perfectly for us… DAYTIME DATES!

Both of our children are in school now.  That makes daytime dates possible for us.  We pick a day that we want to spend together and my husband takes a vacation day for that date.  Then we don’t tell the kids!  We wake up acting all normal on the morning of said date, and put the kids on the bus for school as if nothing is up.  Then, as soon as they are gone we have the entire day together…until the bus brings them back home that afternoon.  We know that we have from 7:45am until 3:15pm to fit in whatever we can!

Morning sex is always a possibility, and we don’t have to be quiet.  Then we can leisurely get dressed and go out to breakfast together or go to a coffee shop.  From there we usually set our sights on shopping for something that we need, like clothes for the kids or something for the house, or even just a grocery store trip together without the kids!  Sometimes we just window-shop and stroll hand in hand in a nearby mall checking out what’s going on.  On a couple of these dates we have been known to get intimate in the dressing rooms! 😆

There are so many possibilities though.  You can go to a park and swing together (like we did when we were dating), you can go bowling, you can play tennis or go to the batting cages, or you can go see a matinee!  You could grocery shop and come home and cook lunch together or you could find a nice restaurant for lunch.  You could take a walk or rake the leaves together, all the while having fun with each other.  The important thing here is just being together and having your focus be on each other.

We have been having one or two daytime dates per month, and it’s really been so good for our relationship.  I so enjoy the time that I get to spend with my husband, and it helps me to relieve stress and be in a better mood when my kids get off that bus in the afternoon.  So everyone wins!

I know that for some of you this idea may be impossible right now.  We weren’t able to do it when our kids were little.  We had to wait until they were both in school, and me being a stay-at-home-mom helps too.  But think about it and see if there is any way that you could make it work for your situation at all.   Even a HALF a day may work for you and your spouse.  Just remember that there is no rule that says your “dates” with your husband have all got to be at night!

If you are able to work out having a daytime date with your husband, leave us a comment and let us know how it went!

No Greater Love

In light of the fact that this weekend is Valentine’s Day, I wanted to share a devotional that I read from a book called Daily Grace for Women in place of today’s poll.   Since I am copying the devotion, I want to be sure to give full credit to this book.  It’s on p. 39.

It’s been called a phenomenon, a mysterious and splendid thing.   It’s as invisible as the air we breathe, yet equally essential  Poets have tried to describe it.   Philosophers have sought to understand it.   Songwriters have mined from their hearts the emotional treasure it evokes.   But the mystery and miracle of love remains indescribable.  What an amazing gift God has given us – not only to observe, but also to miraculously experience!  His Word proclaims it to be greater than hope and faith.

Long before St. Valentine was adopted as the patron saint of lovers, God’s love was the foundation of true love.   Because of the romantic symbols we use to celebrate Valentine’s Day, we forget that St. Valentine actually lost his life because of his love for God.   Beyond the glamour of roses and chocolates that help us celebrate the world’s view of romantic love, we find a man who gave his all for the love of his Savior.

Love is the deepest and most fulfilling gift God has ever given us.  That gift transcends outward symbols and trivial attempts to explain it.  Without His love, we wouldn’t experience God’s mercy, His Salvation or His joy.  Once received, the deep abiding love of Christ in our hearts will overflow into every aspect of our lives.  Real love, the kkind of love that sacrificed all for you and me, came in human form to unite our hearts to God’s.

Do you desire to love more and experience more love in your life?  God’s word encourages, “If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us” (1 John 4:12 NASB)

Celebrate the sacred bliss of true love.  Wrap yourself and others in this extraordinary gift that was hand delivered from Heaven by the Author and Creator of love.

As you approach Valentine’s Day, remember where love first came from…your Father in Heaven.  If it wasn’t for His love, we would have no love at all.

Anniversary Getaways

One of our readers sent the following email:

My wife and I are going to to celebrate our 6th anniversary in May and I would like to go ahead and at least begin to plan our “date night”.  I would really like to absolutely blow her away with a surprise mini vacation or something.  I can spend around $500.00 to do whatever.  I’ve done the hotel with candlelit dinner before and am thinking about doing it again, but would like some ideas to change things up and make them more exciting.  Thank you in advance for your help.

I offered to write a response because I have had numerous opportunities to go away with my husband and they are most certainly some of our favorite memories. We have taken the opportunity in times of financial plenty and in times of needing to live sparingly. We always found a way to save enough, even if it was for one night at moderately priced accommodations.

With a $500 budget you can certainly manage a night at a luxurious hotel or quaint inn. Depending on what your wife is craving at this time of her life you want to consider if she needs a more peaceful setting or a exciting metropolitan. I have thoroughly enjoyed both and both offer great opportunities to celebrate your anniversary.

If you live near a big city, there is a lot in the way of entertainment to enjoy such as live theater or concerts, wonderful restaurants, and most hotels can give you a list of things to do in the city if you are less familiar with the area. Be prepared to do some walking since most of the time a new city is a lot of fun to explore by foot, but be aware of safety issues as some of the areas may not be good neighborhoods to walk around. Again, your hotel should be able to advise you on issues like this.

If your wife leads a very busy life, she may be craving something more relaxing. Maybe she needs a time where she can go for a peaceful walk with her man or she can just sit back and relax while other people bring her drinks and food. A nice inn or bed and breakfast nestled in a wooded area or on the waterfront can be a really nice option in this case. Definitely try to find a place with a private jacuzzi if your wife enjoys that. Most of the women I have talked to enjoy the intimacy that a hot tub can provide. One place we stayed at had one nestled in a treed area of the property. It was really nice. Another one was indoors in the guest area of the house.

A word on a couple of practical issues. For just one night, my personal opinion is that traveling to the destination shouldn’t take much more than an hour, or two at the most. If you can manage a full weekend, then you could probably look to further areas. Also, assuming that your wife still menstruates, try to plan it around her cycle so that she isn’t having her period when you go away. The other consideration is, of course, the fact that you may have children. If you are blessed to have family that can care for them, then asking them to stay with your kids is an option. Parents, siblings, cousins. Think about people in your family who might be able to help out with this. The other thing you can think about is doing a swap with some friends. You watch their kids for a night for them and then they do the same for you. Your church family may be a good place to look for relationships that allow for this. If you really are at a loss as to how you can manage a night away without your kids, start praying for God to bring people into your life who you can trust to care well for your kids. It will be good for you and for your kids. Also, if you have a baby, you have the option of bringing him or her along. We did that once when my first was 3 months and I was still nursing. It was still a wonderful getaway, so make the best of whatever situation you are in. It won’t be that way forever.

Whether it is an active getaway or a more laid back one, its a really great opportunity to focus on one another. Bring along coconut oil for a full body massage. Make a concerted effort to learn more about your spouse. Try some new things sexually and enjoy the old faithfuls. Talk about your dreams for the future. No matter what your love language is, a weekend excursion will provide you with an opportunity to show and receive a tremendous amount of love. Walking hand in hand in a beautiful setting, conversing over a succulent dinner, laughing together at a comedy show. All of these are great chances for love and intimacy to blossom. Enjoy it! And seal the memories in your heart to enjoy again later 🙂

You may find more ideas in the following articles:

Viva Las Vegas!


So, my wife and I are planning a romantic escape to Vegas in April. I was wondering if you had any tips on things to do there besides laying poolside and catching a show in the evening. We’re not big gamblers – but we’ve seen so many great travel shows on Vegas that it seems like there is alot to do for those of us romantics who don’t want to break the bank doing it. Any ideas?


My husband and I just visited Las Vegas last summer and it ranks right up there with one of our most memorable vacations ever!!!!  There is always something to do in Vegas and I have heard that the hotels are very reasonable right now because of our sluggish economy.  I’ll share what we found enjoyable and hopefully our readers will do the same if they have visited as well.

So many hotels are on the strip and they each have a different feel about them. Take a walk down the strip and check them out but because you will be walking a lot, make sure you have comfortable footwear.   The ‘casino’ parts are basically the same so make sure to venture out to the shopping areas.  Here are a few hotels that really stick out in my mind:

The  Bellagio has a beautiful garden that you can walk through.  The garden has many great photo opts, so make sure you have your camera in tow.  My husband’s favorite scene at the Bellagio was the chocolate fountain, which is the window display for a bakery in the hotel.  If you are in this area at night then the water show is a ‘must see’.  The music, accompanied by a beautiful water show is shown every 10 minutes outside the Bellagio.   

The Venetian has a gondola ride that travels right down the middle of the hotel.  The tickets were $10 a piece and the ride is not long but it was a nice memorable experience for us.  A couple in the gondola next to us actually became engaged during their ride!!

Paris is a replica of the Eiffel Tower and it has an elevator that goes up high enough to see the entire strip.  Watching the Bellagio water shows from this elevator is supposedly one of the most romantic things you can do in the U.S.

MGM has a gold lion in their main lobby encompassed by beautiful flowers.  No, the lion is not real….the real lions are in the shopping area of this hotel.  If you time it right you can see the trainers feed the lions.  This happens to be the hotel that was showing KA……I’ll write more about KA in a moment.

We did take a walk down the entire strip and I honestly feel like I could go on and on about each hotel but unfortunately I don’t want to overwhelm you so here are some bullet points.  Many of the hotels have a live band playing and you can go one the dance floor to boogie on down.  The old strip, known as Freemont Street, is not too far.  There you can see some familiar sights from the older movies.  It is enclosed and they have a light show on the ceiling which is a lot of fun.

We did go to a few shows and if you have some money to spare I urge you to see a Cirque du Soleil show.  We watched KA and it is, by far, the best show I have ever seen.  They do perform a more risque show with partial nudity, so you want to be sure to research which show you are buying tickets for. 

Our downtime was spent at the pool just lounging and people watching right at our hotel.  We did rent a cabaña for a day.  It was nice to be able to get out of the heat and it was fully stocked with all the juice and water that you could drink.  Remember, we went in the summer so it was very hot!!

While we were in Vegas we did encounter some people trying to hand out ‘call girl’ information to everyone who walked by.  They smack their hands with the cards to get your attention.  They were easy enough ignore and look the other way.  By the end of the week these people had upped their game by wearing a sandwich board, that light up, exploiting women.  This was the only thing about Vegas that I did not like.  Hopefully they will be able to remove this from the streets in the near future.  If you see them up ahead just avoid eye contact or if you are more aggressive than me you may want to try educating them but then again I don’t think they spoke much English.

Vegas has endless amounts of shows and things to do.  I hope this list helps get you started on some ideas for your own memories.  Have fun and enjoy each other!!!!!!

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